Am I unreasonable to think they should correct this mistake?

[AnwenDolly]

A friend is a representative for a well-known cosmetics firm. I recently made an order for items worth nearly £80 which arrived a couple of weeks later.

I was pleased with most of the items I received, but was disappointed to find that one item was not only the wrong colour, but it was also a slightly different and completely unsuitable product for me. As I can't use it, it's completely useless to me.

I let my friend know that same day and she said she would order the right one straight away and collect the wrong one the next time we meet. That was just over a month ago and I had heard nothing since.

This week, I've been thinking about ordering some more things from this company for myself and for Christmas presents, but was reluctant to do so until the mistake with my last order was rectified.

I sent a message to my friend asking when I could expect to receive the correct product and she told me that I had misunderstood her and that she would not order the correct product (which I have paid for) until I return the one sent to me in error.

Am I being unreasonable to think I shouldn't have to return an item I didn't order or want before I receive the item I have already paid for? I have seen the order my friend sent to the company. The mistake was definitely the company's and not hers.

I'm left feeling very let-down and disinclined to order anything else from this company.

Your first mistake was buying from a MLM. The rest was bound to go down the toilet from there.

Blimey OP. You may not agree with the practise but you have to follow their rules - just send the item back and you’ll get your replacement 🙄
Your friend has notified you of the incorrect communication originally, so now just follow the rules 🙄
You’ll get your product, why be an arse about it??

I’ve had incorrect items delivered online - I’ve had to return the incorrect item THEN I get the correct item sent out. It’s standard practise. Similarly, if I return an item to a store as there’s a fault or quickly developed a fault, I have to hand the item back first before getting a replacement - even to the point of having to wait if said item is out of stock and has to be ordered in - SHOCK HORROR, I have to go home empty handed and wait for my replacement to arrive 😱
Really, OP just get a grip, and do what’s required.

But who has delivered the wrong item to who? Rep to op. Company to rep. Or company to op.

terry … it really doesn’t matter - it’s very easily solved, instead of OP creating a massive drama 🙄

It would be very different if friend had said, no sorry nothing I can do. But friend has told OP what to do and how it will be fixed. Simple.

Thank you for your responses. Clearly the verdict is that I am unreasonable and as I asked the question, I accept that.

I would point out (if it's not clear in my first post) that I was not aware I had to return the unwanted item before the new one arrived. I was only told that yesterday. I was not 'withholding' it, neither was I intending to keep it as a Christmas present for someone else. It is of no use to me. There is nothing I can do with it apart from exchange it for the item I ordered and paid for, or throw it out.

This item is not something I ordered and didn't like or changed my mind. Neither is it a similar replacement for an out of stock item. It is a different product.

My friend originally said she would order the right one and we could do an exchange. That seemed perfectly reasonable to me. She has done everything right. It's the company that made a mistake.

I don't know what an MSM is, but it certainly isn't the sort of organisation I would want to use if they behave this way. I thought my friend's company was reputable.

Of course you have to return an item for exchange. The Company need to know that you're not going to keep it as well as a replacement, otherwise everyone would be doing it .

Of course I wouldn't, but neither would I expect to take an item back to the shop and receive nothing in return. I would expect the shop to replace it with the correct item

This is exact same thing as if you ordered items from a company online and for whatever reason they had sent you an incorrect item. In order to receive the correct item, you have to send the incorrect item back first.

Even though the company is at fault, they don't know if you'll send the incorrect item back once you've received the correct one. What your friend (& the company) is asking for is nothing out of the norm from any other company tbh

OP - I don't know what an MSM is, but it certainly isn't the sort of organisation I would want to use if they behave this way.

OP MLM stands for Multi Level Marketing. Basically a business has representatives (your friend) to promote and sell the company's products to customers, while also recruiting those customers to become representatives themselves.

Often the rep (your friend) is under stress to make enough commission of orders to justify the workload of collecting/delivering/handling returns and mistakes.

Your friend has tried to make the mistake sound easy to rectify but has misled you by letting you think you'll receive a replacement product BEFORE returning the original.

Just return the original product and let her get on with a swap!

Cannot understand how people are criticising you OP. The company made a mistake not you.

I'm mystified by the majority of responses you have here - I can only guess that those people who have been (unbelievably in some cases) rude to you have failed to read the OP properly. I sometimes imagine those same people speaking to someone like that in a pub, and picture the number of knockouts there would be.

You're not going mad; the comparisons with a shop are spurious, as it wasn't a case of YOU choosing the wrong item and returning it. A good business would send the correct item out regardless, as it was their mistake, if there's a paper trail of what you ordered.

The only point I agree with is - yes, give it back to your friend so that she can return it. But you seem sensible, so I'm sure you'd have done that anyway if you'd known, and will now do it. Sheesh!

Much more succinctly put by the poster above😂

@Namechangehereandnow

terry … it really doesn’t matter - it’s very easily solved, instead of OP creating a massive drama 🙄

It would be very different if friend had said, no sorry nothing I can do. But friend has told OP what to do and how it will be fixed. Simple.

You would think so but MLMs add a layer of complexity. Nothing is done direct with the supplying company by the customer. Reps are often selling to friends with an emotional element involved. Reps are also encouraged to make promises and commitments to get a sale which they can't then afford go follow through on (like promising to order and swap the replacement and then back pedalling).

Of course I wouldn't, but neither would I expect to take an item back to the shop and receive nothing in return. I would expect the shop to replace it with the correct item

Have you never returned something you’ve bought online?

This is exactly the same, if the wrong thing gets sent you return it, they acknowledge receipt and either send a replacement or refund you.

A company won’t send out a replacement for free without getting the original item back, no matter whether it’s been sent wrong on their behalf or you just don’t like it.

@AnwenDolly

Thank you for your responses. Clearly the verdict is that I am unreasonable and as I asked the question, I accept that.

I would point out (if it's not clear in my first post) that I was not aware I had to return the unwanted item before the new one arrived. I was only told that yesterday. I was not 'withholding' it, neither was I intending to keep it as a Christmas present for someone else. It is of no use to me. There is nothing I can do with it apart from exchange it for the item I ordered and paid for, or throw it out.

This item is not something I ordered and didn't like or changed my mind. Neither is it a similar replacement for an out of stock item. It is a different product.

My friend originally said she would order the right one and we could do an exchange. That seemed perfectly reasonable to me. She has done everything right. It's the company that made a mistake.

I don't know what an MSM is, but it certainly isn't the sort of organisation I would want to use if they behave this way. I thought my friend's company was reputable.

OP, the parent company may look reputable. Your friend may be nice and seem reputable. But the MLM business model is set up to make the company lots of money whilst their reps don't. It out sources a lot of their costs and responsibilities onto a rep who is not necessarily experienced and who is probably not making enough money to cover their expenses (such as returns).

A lot of people think like you that the company is reputable or that they can trust their friend but on the whole MLMs are best avoided (body shop at home, tropic, avon who used to be ok direct selling but have got worse, juice plus, forever living, fm perfumes, and others)

Yabu to use an mlm. Its fair enough they want the product back firsr.

You're not going mad; the comparisons with a shop are spurious, as it wasn't a case of YOU choosing the wrong item and returning it. A good business would send the correct item out regardless, as it was their mistake, if there's a paper trail of what you ordered.
I once ordered a bunch of clothes from a “good business” one of the pair of trousers I ordered was incorrect, completely different style and fabric to what I ordered. I still had to return them in order for them to rectify the mistake. It’s standard practice for a lot of retail stores. They did apologise and refunded delivery fees and have a voucher as a gesture of goodwill, but ultimately they have process to follow.

Your friend has tried to make the mistake sound easy to rectify but has misled you by letting you think you'll receive a replacement product BEFORE returning the original.
This is more likely to be true. Perhaps she was unaware of the actual process or she deliberately misled you, but the fault about explaining the process lies here.

I let my friend know that same day and she said she would order the right one straight away and collect the wrong one the next time we meet. That was just over a month ago and I had heard nothing since.

From what was said, I would expect to hand the wrong item over and get the correct one at the same time.

You can't just keep it.

Technically, if a company sends you something unsolicited, as they have in this case, you did not order it, you have to make it available for collection for a good long time. If they don't pick it up within six months, you can consider they don't want it snd can keep it.

In practice, though, this is the flaw in ordering through friends. The convenience is just not worth the awkwardness when it goes wrong.

I'm a big fan of in line shopping, for convenience. I agree with PP who explained that if the mistake was by the company, they should not expect you to return the wrong item before replacing it. I would not buy from any company who did not sort out their own mistakes in this way.

This is just so odd. The company isn’t being unreasonable or disreputable. Haven’t you read the responses? You need to return the item and then they will send the replacement. It’s totally normal

Are you not in the uk? Where are you thay you don’t know this concept?

I ordered a pair of pyjamas from Next last year. I collected them from my nearest store and when I got home the bottoms were missing. I contacted their CS team and they sent me a new pair and told me to keep the spare top. So not every company will want the mistaken product back.

Your friend should be contacting you to pick up the wrong item. If you're thinking of posting it to her, why should you have to pay postage on something that wasn't your fault

chrissy but most do want their products back first, and in this case that’s what they’ve stated

Thank you for your explanations. The MLM model sounds nasty and exploitative.

Sadly, the company my friend works for is one of those listed above as MLM. I hoped it would be otherwise. It's a shame, because their products (when they send the right ones) are good quality.

Anyway, I have resolved to jump their MLM hoops - for my friend's sake and because they have some lovely Christmas stuff - not because they deserve my continued custom. As someone said above, they rely on the emotional connection between the representatives and their customers...

The one thing I'm glad of is that, by not naming them, I have avoided giving them a free plug on Mumsnet.

Thanks again to everyone who took the time to reply. I've certainly learned a few things.

I’m confused as whenever anyone receives a wrong item they are always asked to return it to the store before exchanging it for the correct item, some companies allow people to keep the unwanted items as a gesture of goodwill but that isn’t something they have to do.
It just seems like there’s been a misunderstanding or lacking of communication regarding the correct process which lead to you waiting for the item to arrive, your friend should have been clearer when explaining all of this to you and I really don’t think you’ve been treated poorly at all by your friend of the company, it’s standard practice, even supermarkets will ask you to return a product sent in error before exchanging it.

I think you are a difficult individual. Mistakes happen.