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Original poster

Trouble with neighbours ds

52 replies

mrssmith45 · 02/11/2021 15:46

We have recently found out our neighbours ds has been taking and selling drugs. He is 17. Nearly every night at the same time we get a woft of weed in the house as he is smoking it outside our house. I have tried dropping hints to him but he clearly isn't getting the hint. I don't know if I should speak to his parents who we know quite well or speak to the landlord. I have told his parents before I had heard he was doing harder drugs and they didn't seem at all bothered. We have younger children and I don't want them being around it. Am I being unreasonable wanting to do something about it? It's really annoying me as I hate anything like that especially around our children. I don't want to cause a rift as we are a very small community.

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wonderbegone · 02/11/2021 15:52

I have the exact same problem with next doors teenage son and friends. They smoke weed on the drive and it stinks. Always so loud too when a large group of them. I've learned to pick my battles now and I've started talking to them more so I can approach them if things get to bad. Luckily the parents are approachable people too.
Is it just the smell that's bothering you?

Fl0w3ry · 02/11/2021 16:12

I have the same problem with my next door neighbours teenagers smoking weed. It makes my house really smell and I worry about my DC breathing it in. They also have a young child in their house, but they don’t care who breathes it in. The parents are fully aware and don’t care either. People don’t seem to care how they impact others anymore. I have been told there is nothing I can do about it, and general consensus is police would also do nothing.

Original poster
mrssmith45 · 02/11/2021 16:24

@wonderbegone

I have the exact same problem with next doors teenage son and friends. They smoke weed on the drive and it stinks. Always so loud too when a large group of them. I've learned to pick my battles now and I've started talking to them more so I can approach them if things get to bad. Luckily the parents are approachable people too. Is it just the smell that's bothering you?
The smell bothers me but also the fact that he thinks it's ok to be smoking outside our house when we have younger children. Maybe I'm just being over sensitive, I don't know. My dh is really cross and wants to have it out with all of them but so far I've held him back!
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Original poster
mrssmith45 · 02/11/2021 16:26

@Fl0w3ry his parents and older siblings all smoke in the house which I find disgusting anyway but that's up to them, they have their very small grandchildren in the house too quite often, poor things. It's obviously up to them but it's not for me! It's very annoying nothing can be done about it. It seems to becoming the norm these days.

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Jizzle · 02/11/2021 16:28

I can't get too exercised about weed smoking to be honest. I don't think it will be long until it is fully declassified.

I have spoken to my children about it so they are aware and it isn't some big secret, they can smoke it if they want when they grow up.

If it progressed to harder drugs within sight of myself or my children however, then i would be reporting it to the police/parents.

LettertoHermoine · 02/11/2021 16:40

Weed wouldn't bother me in fairness. someone shooting up heroin outside my house would. I would actually prefer getting a bang of weed than a load of drunk teenagers fighting and puking to be honest.

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 02/11/2021 16:42

Why is there always someone who comes on to tell us that weed is just, you know, absolutely fine and will be decriminalised, cos it's just fine, and we'll, it's just fine?

It isn't. And the current skunk form of weed is fuck all like the grass of yesteryear. I work with adults who used to think it was just fine. They have some horrendous MH issues.

It really isn't at all fine.

Tigger85 · 02/11/2021 18:04

My neighbour not only smokes it but is growing it in his garage which is attached to ours and is selling it too. Police are not intrested nor is his landlord. We can't go in our garage because it constantly absolutely reeks, we can't line dry our clothes because they end up stinking of it, our entire garden usually ends up stinking of it. I know he's growing it because there are holes in the garage wall and you can see his plants through the hole. They have a 2 year old and we have a 4 year old. They don't care. I sympathise with you, living next door to heavy weed users/growers makes life miserable and they don't care about their impact on others. I don't know what you will be able to do other than politely request he smokes it in his own garden not directly outside your house, my experience with weed smokers is they will just tell you to f off.

Original poster
mrssmith45 · 02/11/2021 21:17

@Tigger85 god I really feel for you. What a nightmare you must be living. I've over heard him say to his mates that his parents don't like him smoking it in their garden so I'm guessing that's why he smokes it in ours. We live in a fairly rural area so it's not like there isn't plenty of other places he can go. Just makes me so cross he thinks it's ok.

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Original poster
mrssmith45 · 02/11/2021 21:22

@HoardingSamphireSaurus it's a slippery slope in my eyes. I guess I've just never had anything to do with any kind of drugs so probably a bit naive but I just don't see the point in it.

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AFewSandwichesShortOfAPicnic · 03/11/2021 00:49

[quote mrssmith45]@Tigger85 god I really feel for you. What a nightmare you must be living. I've over heard him say to his mates that his parents don't like him smoking it in their garden so I'm guessing that's why he smokes it in ours. We live in a fairly rural area so it's not like there isn't plenty of other places he can go. Just makes me so cross he thinks it's ok. [/quote]
Id be pissed at him coming into your garden regularly without permission regardless of what's he's doing. That's not ok. He could be coming in to sing hymns and I'd be pissed of.

How is he getting into your garden? If he's coming in via a gate could you put a lock on it maybe? If he's jumping a fence I'd be considering building it higher.

If you're worried complaining about the weed might cause problems I'd just ask for him to please stop entering your garden. You'd be reasonable to do that.

Anordinarymum · 03/11/2021 00:56

To be honest what the neighbours do in their home is not your business, but if the sons activities are affecting your life then tell him to keep away from your house or you will tell the police.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/11/2021 00:58

My retired, mature, pleasant neighbours smoke weed!

I don’t really like the smell myself but it doesn’t upset me

I think the bloke at least has chronic pain so can’t really blame him

KangarooSally · 03/11/2021 01:00

[quote mrssmith45]@Tigger85 god I really feel for you. What a nightmare you must be living. I've over heard him say to his mates that his parents don't like him smoking it in their garden so I'm guessing that's why he smokes it in ours. We live in a fairly rural area so it's not like there isn't plenty of other places he can go. Just makes me so cross he thinks it's ok. [/quote]
If he's in your garden can you put a sprinkler on a timer for around when he tends to come in? That should keep him away.

JackieChiles · 03/11/2021 01:02

@HoardingSamphireSaurus

Why is there always someone who comes on to tell us that weed is just, you know, absolutely fine and will be decriminalised, cos it's just fine, and we'll, it's just fine?

It isn't. And the current skunk form of weed is fuck all like the grass of yesteryear. I work with adults who used to think it was just fine. They have some horrendous MH issues.

It really isn't at all fine.

I hope you can understand that many many people have different experiences than you do.
Summerfun54321 · 03/11/2021 01:22

Can you covertly squirt him with a water pistol when he’s out there?

RunningScarabbed · 03/11/2021 04:47

It's there any way you can put up a barrier to make it more difficult for him to come into your garden? If not, I'd go out and ask him not to come into your garden. Smoke will still waft in, but there's no reason he should be on your property when he smokes! At least you have a child you can use as a more socially comfortable excuse for speaking up and wanting distance from the smoke, though he shouldn't be doing it regardless of who lives there. So inconsiderate!

NoSquirrels · 03/11/2021 05:40

[quote mrssmith45]@Tigger85 god I really feel for you. What a nightmare you must be living. I've over heard him say to his mates that his parents don't like him smoking it in their garden so I'm guessing that's why he smokes it in ours. We live in a fairly rural area so it's not like there isn't plenty of other places he can go. Just makes me so cross he thinks it's ok. [/quote]
Stop ‘hinting’. Be as direct as his parents are.

‘Stop smoking weed outside our house. Find somewhere else to go.’

Elderflower14 · 03/11/2021 06:17

@HoardingSamphireSaurus

Why is there always someone who comes on to tell us that weed is just, you know, absolutely fine and will be decriminalised, cos it's just fine, and we'll, it's just fine?

It isn't. And the current skunk form of weed is fuck all like the grass of yesteryear. I work with adults who used to think it was just fine. They have some horrendous MH issues.

It really isn't at all fine.

Couldn't agree with you more!!!!
billy1966 · 03/11/2021 08:03

@HoardingSamphireSaurus

Why is there always someone who comes on to tell us that weed is just, you know, absolutely fine and will be decriminalised, cos it's just fine, and we'll, it's just fine?

It isn't. And the current skunk form of weed is fuck all like the grass of yesteryear. I work with adults who used to think it was just fine. They have some horrendous MH issues.

It really isn't at all fine.

Completely agree.

My friend is working in pastoral care in a University and she sees the effect of it, some of which are catastrophic on MH.

She has seen kids that had great futures being completely derailed because of it.

EdgeOfTheSky · 03/11/2021 08:17

There is a powerful middle ground between your wimpy ‘dripping hints’ and your DH’s angry ‘have it out’ confrontation.

Talk to him directly, clearly and firmly.

Say assertively ‘it is not my business whether you smoke weed or not but it is not acceptable that you do it in such a way that we can smell it or our children can see it. Please do not let this happen again. If we or or children witness this again we will take it further”.

OhMyfanwy · 03/11/2021 08:30

I absolutely agree with @EdgeOfTheSky but take it further how? The police can't do anything, do you put it in writing? Is it a trespassing incident? Get a solicitor to write a letter?
Honestly not being goady
Id probably go loopy at them so that wouldn't help

hellcatspangle · 03/11/2021 08:41

I wouldn't be making subtle hints, I'd be going out and telling him to sod off and smoke it elsewhere.

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 03/11/2021 08:47

I hope you can understand that many many people have different experiences than you do.

Yes @JackieChiles. Paranoia, schizophrenia, depression, problems with memory, co morbities and addictions, antisocial behaviours impacting ability to form relationships, keep jobs, be financially self supporting.

Not anything I have experienced, thankfully.

Don't dismiss the only too real issues because you haven't experienced them!

Original poster
mrssmith45 · 03/11/2021 08:51

Unfortunately they have access through our back garden to the back of their house so not much we can do out that.

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