Page 2 | Trouble with neighbours ds

BonnesVacances · 03/11/2021 08:55

If he's smoking weed at 17, that'll be the least of your problems. Wait until he develops MH or psychiatric issues as an adult and he's still living next door.

PP who are saying smoking weed is fine in adolescence, give your heads a wobble and read the research! No wonder our MH services are stretched beyond buggery!

SolasAnla · 03/11/2021 08:57

@Tigger85 you could try contacting the company which has responsibility for your electrical grid it's possible that your neighbour is pulling power before the meter as a business cost saver.

@mrssmith45 I agree that you need to have a polite but firm conversation about where he smokes.
If he is selling out of the house or elsewhere you have a right to be concerned. People who dismiss drug selling ignore that drug wholesalers tend to collect unpaid debts using physical violence and drug wars tend to involve killing members of the opposing gangs.

Original poster

mrssmith45 · 03/11/2021 09:05

I have had a word with his parents this morning. They said they would have a word and apologised. Tbh I don't think they have much control.

@SolasAnla this is one of my concerns, I don't want that on our doorstep.

OP posts:

PenguinIce · 03/11/2021 09:30

I have the same problem with my ndn who also grows it in his garage. It has a major affect on my family, not only the smell but also being woken up in the middle of the night when people have got the wrong house when trying to buy drugs. Landlord is not interested unfortunately nor the police as ‘it’s only weed’.

Completely agree with others about the affect on mental health. My ndn mood swings are a nightmare, one day he says ‘hello’ the next its ‘fuck off’. It’s definitely affected my mental health living next door to him!

aModernClassic · 03/11/2021 09:39

I would go out and disturb him every time - find something to do in the garden, hang around and be a pain. No17 year old wants adults hanging around. If you do this every time he'll hopefully get fed-up and find somewhere else.

user1471538283 · 03/11/2021 09:41

Oh right his parents don't want it near their house so he smokes it outside yours! No! I would tell him to move on each and every time. I would tell the parents as well. Even if he wasn't doing this you wouldn't want him outside your house with his mates.

Thehop · 03/11/2021 09:43

Sadly, nothing will be done even if you report it. Even social services being involved would ignore smoking and weed around children. The bar is so low right now.

Thehop · 03/11/2021 09:44

Not excising this at all by the way. It’s awful to live next door to, I hate the smell.

TheChip · 03/11/2021 09:48

Why do his parents have an issue with him smoking it in their garden if they all smoke it indoors themselves?

If you've started talking to them more then just ask them to "please move off my garden to smoke that". Not all teenagers are aggressive and defiant.
Sometimes they're just not switched on enough to realise that their actions could be upsetting others.

PerfectlyImperfectme · 03/11/2021 09:49

Keep it calm & friendly but each time go out & ask them to move on. Put a big light on. Tell their parents each time. Don't escalate or get shouty or they'll goad you & stay longer.
Just persistently upsetting their smoking & annoying their parents they'll move to somewhere they can do it in peace.

Bollindger · 03/11/2021 09:55

You have children, so every time he comes into the garden? So open the window and play very childish music and have a kids disco about 15 mins before his arrival time, . Baby shark a few times , and nursery rhymes, your children will love you.

HadaVerde · 03/11/2021 09:55

He needs to do it at the end of the garden not near your windows.

Other than that, you ‘heard’ hrs doing harder drugs?
You’re also accusing him of dealing.

What reason do you have to make those claims?

Original poster

mrssmith45 · 03/11/2021 10:03

@HadaVerde I have been shown it by my nephew on his Snapchat story that he is selling drugs.

OP posts:

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 03/11/2021 10:07

I think those that say it doesn't bother them haven't had the overwhelming stench of weed permeating every room in their houses by nearby smokers.

girlmom21 · 03/11/2021 10:19

Just have a conversation with him rather than dropping shitty hints

MamDancer · 03/11/2021 10:19

@HoardingSamphireSaurus

Why is there always someone who comes on to tell us that weed is just, you know, absolutely fine and will be decriminalised, cos it's just fine, and we'll, it's just fine?

It isn't. And the current skunk form of weed is fuck all like the grass of yesteryear. I work with adults who used to think it was just fine. They have some horrendous MH issues.

It really isn't at all fine.

You are correct. The imported weed of my youth in the 1970s was nothing like the homegrown stuff in play today. Something to do with the imbalance of chemicals in the homegrown.

It does indeed now cause paranoia and other MH problems.

Brefugee · 03/11/2021 10:28

he's selling? dob him in to the police.

he's just smoking with mates? ask them to move or you'll call the police

I quite like the smell of it, but i couldn't be doing with this.

IAmTheLovechildOfYvesAndIsabel · 03/11/2021 10:33

I know you say they have right of way through your garden and the police don't care about weed smoking but it's still your property and right of way is just that - access to their garden/house through yours not ten to 15 minutes stood smoking a spliff. So you may still have legal recourse and if you keep a diary of when and for how long and call the police each time, eventually they are going to send someone out just to pacify you.
But, before it gets that ugly I think you could try speaking to him and/ or his family. They may not want to piss their neighbours off. Also, what does he do in very wet and cold weather? Because there's plenty coming!😁

LaetitiaASD · 03/11/2021 10:44

@mrssmith45

We have recently found out our neighbours ds has been taking and selling drugs. He is 17. Nearly every night at the same time we get a woft of weed in the house as he is smoking it outside our house. I have tried dropping hints to him but he clearly isn't getting the hint. I don't know if I should speak to his parents who we know quite well or speak to the landlord. I have told his parents before I had heard he was doing harder drugs and they didn't seem at all bothered. We have younger children and I don't want them being around it. Am I being unreasonable wanting to do something about it? It's really annoying me as I hate anything like that especially around our children. I don't want to cause a rift as we are a very small community.

Isn't weed legal now?

girlmom21 · 03/11/2021 10:44

@LaetitiaASD no it's not

LaetitiaASD · 03/11/2021 10:49

@HoardingSamphireSaurus

Why is there always someone who comes on to tell us that weed is just, you know, absolutely fine and will be decriminalised, cos it's just fine, and we'll, it's just fine?

It isn't. And the current skunk form of weed is fuck all like the grass of yesteryear. I work with adults who used to think it was just fine. They have some horrendous MH issues.

It really isn't at all fine.

Perhaps legalisation would allow better studies. These people with horrendous mental health issues - did they smoke because of the issues, or develop the issues because of the smoke, or is there no correlation?

Personally I believe weed - including strong skunk - is pretty much fine. The problems are mainly about smoking it when young (under 16, under 18), or smoking when you are vulnerable mentally and ti pushes you over the edge.

Having it illegal when tobacco and booze are legal is insane.

Criminalizing things really should be a last resort.

If you really cared about kids you'd advocate for legalisation to free up police time to go after those selling to kids

LaetitiaASD · 03/11/2021 10:50

[quote girlmom21]@LaetitiaASD no it's not [/quote]
It was a joke - it might as well be from what I can see. Unless people want to double the police budget and tell them to prioritise weed over violent crime and sex offences then it is all but legal already.

LaetitiaASD · 03/11/2021 10:53

@PenguinIce

I have the same problem with my ndn who also grows it in his garage. It has a major affect on my family, not only the smell but also being woken up in the middle of the night when people have got the wrong house when trying to buy drugs. Landlord is not interested unfortunately nor the police as ‘it’s only weed’.

Completely agree with others about the affect on mental health. My ndn mood swings are a nightmare, one day he says ‘hello’ the next its ‘fuck off’. It’s definitely affected my mental health living next door to him!

Great case for legalisation - make sure that the weed we see on the streets is relatively benign.

Threewheeler1 · 03/11/2021 10:54

I don't know what they're smoking now but it's so strong and the smell is unbelievably pungent! Walked past a few teenagers yesterday & it nearly made my eyes water.
Not sure what you can do OP other than have a bit if a chat with parents? Really tricky situation.

EdgeOfTheSky · 03/11/2021 11:00

@mrssmith45

I have had a word with his parents this morning. They said they would have a word and apologised. Tbh I don't think they have much control.

@SolasAnla this is one of my concerns, I don't want that on our doorstep.

Right.

Well next time they do it, send your DH out to tell them in no uncertain terms (not abusive or aggressive but very steely) to move in and not even think of pausing as they make the allowed access walk across your garden.

The fact that the parents will now ask them to stop it in an ineffective wishy washy hand wringing way and the teens will ignore them and carry on will give the teens the idea that they are invincible and can do what they like because the parents will do nothing.

Grow a backbone and talk firmly and directly to the teens themselves.