To request family don't buy my kids junk for Christmas.

[Artie30]

I have Dd and ds. They don't see grandparents or other family much in the year but when it comes Christmas they seem to go over board at Christmas with toys and other junk.

I don't want to seem ungrateful. But it's always quantity over quality with them. I'd rather they buy dc one or two decent presents, or something they want than lots of plastic crap that they don't look it. Or even money or a gift voucher. Dc are a little older now and would like a voucher. They are sen and very specific interests do half the time they aren't infested in what's bought for them.

Sorting out DD's room today. I feel so sad because I've had to him, give away or donate a lot of stuff. We simply haven't got the room. Some of its that poop that's it had to go in the bin. Not worth giving away.

Family always seem to buy things that are difficult to store.

So aibu to tell them not to buy so much? Whilst we are grateful, it's just a waste of money as they don't like it.

Does it sound ungrateful?

Dm has already informed me she's bought 'loads' for the kids back in September so probably too bleddy late 😪😪

Probably too late for this year but definitely say that next year vouchers or tickets for something are the way to go! Also talk to your extended family about what they actually want for Christmas. You may find others are thinking along the same lines as you but didn’t know how to bring it up.
Setting spending limits, secret Santa’s and only buying for kids are all good ways to cut down the crap but need to be discussed and agreed way in advance

I'd say ready for next year that the kids are saving for very specific and expensive items and would really love vouchers towards it next year or something like that.

In my experience, you can say it, but it will often make no difference. It’s just how some people express love, I think.

MIL has always been a bit like this and it was overwhelming when the DC were tiny and we had a very small home. I used to end up in tears with all the bags and bags of weird clothes and huge plastic things coming in at every Christmas and birthday and nowhere to store any of it! I was so frustrated and really experienced it as passive aggressive at the time, because my family just isn’t like that and would be equally horrified by avalanches of unwanted stuff.

Years on, I can see that it truly was a question of MIL thinking she was showing extravagant love. But I am still glad it’s over.

Hope you have better luck stemming the flow.

@FlorenceNightshade

Probably too late for this year but definitely say that next year vouchers or tickets for something are the way to go! Also talk to your extended family about what they actually want for Christmas. You may find others are thinking along the same lines as you but didn’t know how to bring it up. Setting spending limits, secret Santa’s and only buying for kids are all good ways to cut down the crap but need to be discussed and agreed way in advance

Thank you. My two are actually the only kids in the family so it seems everyone just wants to buy them stuff. Not great in a little house 😪

@LemonJuiceFromConcentrate thank you. It's difficult isn't it. I remember waking up one Boxing Day and having a bad panic attack at it all worried where I was going to put everything - not that I rush to put their new stuff away straight away but I was anticipating the days to come!

I think it's getting marginally easier as they are getting older. Mainly because gifts get smaller (still lots of crap to deal with though).

Problem is. I try and sell or give away on market place and family see it but I cannot keep everything forever 😪

I'm thinking of doing a no plastic rule. Just makes me cringe thinking about how toxic it is. Not sure how to ask without sounding rude though :/

@georgarina

I'm thinking of doing a no plastic rule. Just makes me cringe thinking about how toxic it is. Not sure how to ask without sounding rude though :/

Good idea. I am guilty of buying some plastic stuff so I'm not totally guilt free but I tend to buy things that they really want and also stuff that has re-selling power it looked after! Ds is into lego so that's an easy one. The stuff family buy is cheap rubbish that isn't worth much at all!

Can you steer to a subscription instead for local farm or zoo etc. Or ask they pay for a day out. Explain we haven’t got room as child would much prefer a fun day out. Or practical things like clothes if they want to give a physical present.

[quote Artie30]@LemonJuiceFromConcentrate thank you. It's difficult isn't it. I remember waking up one Boxing Day and having a bad panic attack at it all worried where I was going to put everything - not that I rush to put their new stuff away straight away but I was anticipating the days to come!

I think it's getting marginally easier as they are getting older. Mainly because gifts get smaller (still lots of crap to deal with though).

Problem is. I try and sell or give away on market place and family see it but I cannot keep everything forever 😪[/quote]
I have no suggestions because both of our families were the same, made even worse by DD1’s Christmas birthday.

I noticed when listing some stuff on marketplace the other day that I could hide it from my Facebook, would that help with them seeing your listings?

@maxineputyourredshoeson I wasn't aware I could hide things from my own Facebook, so thank you!

@Dixiechickonhols

Can you steer to a subscription instead for local farm or zoo etc. Or ask they pay for a day out. Explain we haven’t got room as child would much prefer a fun day out. Or practical things like clothes if they want to give a physical present.

Unfortunately they seem to like to buy the crap and see them open it!

Mil did actually give us the money for annual passes a couple years ago and we were very grateful!

Mil isn't as bad as my family to be honest. Mr family are the worst about it. Even in my own childhood I was bought so much stuff I didn't need!

My parents buy very "weird" second hand stuff for my nephews, along with a contribution to his savings account, and I only send cash as they're both too little to appreciate "stuff".

The other in laws send mounds of "stuff", and more every time they visit.

Even my BIL prefers my family's approach!

If they don't see their grandkids often, ways to show their love are limited. And handing over a voucher when they do get to see them is no real pleasure. So these suggestions have to be done kindly and with some empathy.

If they know in advance that there's something that you DCs are desperate for, you can maybe ask them just to buy that one expensive thing, rather than a bunch of things, emphasising just how thrilled they will be. Then you can explain the not having much space element, having already given them a positive about buying a single special item.

I’ve asked for my son to be given money for his savings account then I can buy things he needs throughout the year… shoes clothes etc
Told them when he was born. 1st xmas they did toys and money but i’ve put my foot down this year. We live in a 2 bed terrace. There isn’t any room!

Would they be offended if you gave them suggestions? It’s still plastic but if you said eg Lego Star Wars or Playmobil Plus then each gift would form part of one big set.

I mean i agree fully. But it won't make any difference. Id say something about house too small and then when the inevitable happens pack them off to grandparents with it and say how much you love it but the kids dont have space to play with them at home. Or discuss with kids in front of them how nice everything is but you cant keep it all in the house so lets lend some things to friends. Piss them off just enough that they wont do it again

I've told my parents and in-laws no plastic crap and a preference on a ' day out voucher' and I've told them just one gift ( Ive had to repeat this several times to my mother as I have felt ungreatful before ,as she goes completely against what Ive mentioned- when she has initially asked!)

My mum has a tendency to do this… buys presents to make up for her actual presence I feel! She buys for Easter and Halloween too! I have started giving a specific list and saying we are trying to reduce the amount of plastic stuff we buy!

Err I was just saying this to someone the other day.... DD gets a load of cheap plastic "bits" from places like the works etc and it just doesn't get touched! Ends up at the bottom of a storage box then thrown away.
Every time she goes to PIL she comes back with something!!
Just all so unnecessary.
She has a shoe box filled with pens and pencils.... a shoe box!! Filed to the brim. It's enough to last her, her entire childhood yet no doubt she will be bought more.

I worried about this before my daughter was born because my mum was the type to buy loads of stuff. Then she died a month before I gave birth and it turns out I’d give anything for a house filled with tat ☹️

Danikm151
Am I reading your post wrong?
It reads like you ask people to put Money into an account so you can spend it on essentials for your children throughout the year?

It reads like you ask people to put Money into an account so you can spend it on essentials for your children throughout the year?

I know it may look grabby but I wish people would just stop and think about it. We live in the 21st century. Toys aren't in short supply, but essentials - just might be (like suddently you may need to replace an entire set of a school uniform or pay for a school trip). Yes, children want toys, but those most likely will get bought by parents who know exactly, or grandparents. Aunties, uncles, cousins, parents' friends - they usually don't have a clue what's trending for kids, nor that anything much is expected from them. Cash is really a most sensible option.

We told our parents that the kids have far too much stuff so if we could come to theirs to open presents, and all the toys could then stay at their house. Definitely cut down on the amount of things given and we (of course) let the children bring home their most favourite things on the day. Muhahaha

Is it about affordability? Bulky plastic toys are also often very cheap, much cheaper than lego, playmobil, zoo tickets etc. You may find they don't want to give money or vouchers as what they can afford to give doesnt look like much in cash value.

If you make some careful suggestions of inexpensive alternatives might that work? Craft materials and books are cheaper than lego, playmobil etc.

We asked our family to only buy second hand or good quality things. It’s been fine so far