To request family don't buy my kids junk for Christmas.

[Artie30]

I have Dd and ds. They don't see grandparents or other family much in the year but when it comes Christmas they seem to go over board at Christmas with toys and other junk.

I don't want to seem ungrateful. But it's always quantity over quality with them. I'd rather they buy dc one or two decent presents, or something they want than lots of plastic crap that they don't look it. Or even money or a gift voucher. Dc are a little older now and would like a voucher. They are sen and very specific interests do half the time they aren't infested in what's bought for them.

Sorting out DD's room today. I feel so sad because I've had to him, give away or donate a lot of stuff. We simply haven't got the room. Some of its that poop that's it had to go in the bin. Not worth giving away.

Family always seem to buy things that are difficult to store.

So aibu to tell them not to buy so much? Whilst we are grateful, it's just a waste of money as they don't like it.

Does it sound ungrateful?

Dm has already informed me she's bought 'loads' for the kids back in September so probably too bleddy late 😪😪

I’ve asked for my son to be given money for his savings account then I can buy things he needs throughout the year… shoes clothes

But maybe that's not what they want to give? It's your responsibility to provide for essentials. Grandparents love to give toys and games etc because the child then values and appreciates the gift. A 7 year old will think being give money for school shoes is boring so many people might not want to give that.

I think a lot of people are remarkably short sighted that the reason some people prefer to buy 4 large plastic toys vs one expensive good quality smaller one, is because they can't afford to buy much from the likes of lego/playmobil. A young child does not know that a small lego set costs 5 times the large plastic digger truck, in their eyes both are fun presents of comparable size, so for a grandparent with not much money gets much more "wow" factor with the child buying lots of bulky plastic toys.

Do they ask what they would like for Xmas or just buy whatever? Can you just send a lighthearted message like 'have you had any thoughts about the kids Xmas presents this year? DD has been asking about xyz'.
We have 2 birthdays close to Xmas so I write a detailed list for each child from about the summer, and then when family ask (and mine always do!) I say yes child 1 would like xyz, or whatever, and I always say we prefer Preloved gifts where possible.

But maybe that's not what they want to give? It's your responsibility to provide for essentials. Grandparents love to give toys and games etc because the child then values and appreciates the gift. A 7 year old will think being give money for school shoes is boring so many people might not want to give that.

School shoes might be boring, but what about a nice pair of trainers? And children grow to be indifferent to toys when they get overloaded with them.
If affordability is the issue, stick a £5 in a card. Kids are always excited to spend their money, even if its on sweets.

I had this with MIL - she would rather spend a little and get a huge amount of toys rather than one nice thing. I do think it was her thing because she liked seeing the unwrapping and the day when Ds played with them. I went for the - can you keep them at your house so he has something to play with when he is there & we will take a couple of things home. DS is much older now and gets a cheque from my parents to do with what he will - loves it.

I get @DeepaBeesKit s point.

Also I think if DCs are given money for their savings account - if they have one - it is their money . If strapped then a smaller present and a separate present which might be money to pay for day to day things.