To want to restrict how much we have the heating on

[reallyagain]

After a winter working from home last year we were hit with a horrendous heating bill (several thousand on top of already paying quite a high amount per month). So this year with gas prices being so high I’m really conscious of being careful. DH wants it on much more than I do and it’s causing endless rows. He’s turned it on 4 separate times today and is sulking when I comment. We share heating bills - I suggested he pays more to have it on more but he refuses.

How much do you have the heating on if you work from home?

Compromise and get a small electric heater for DH so that he can heat just the room he is working in.

Can he layer up ? He's being a bit of a knob, if he wants it on he needs to pay for the privilege.

I would have the heating on much less but anther familly member feels the cold.
I prefer to wear lots of layers. If I feel cold I put on a sweater rather than turn on the heating.
16 degrees is warm enough for me.

Is he doing other things before turning on the heating? Slippers, a jumper, hot drinks etc?

My dh complains I have the window open at night in the winter yet refuses to wear more than underpants to bed. put some fucking pyjamas on then you wont be cold!

It's not just the room he works in though, he also wants it in in the living room when he's in it and to heat the whole house before we go to bed so he's not cold before he goes to bed. I tell him to put an extra layer on like I do - in his words he shouldn't have to behave like 'a miserly arsehole'

I had the thermostat set at 20 when working from home. You can't work when you're cold. Get a separate heater to just heat the room DH is in and make sure the doors are shut. Is your house insulated as much as it can be?
Not sure why you are splitting bills in such a manner though when you are married.

We like our house warm. I hate a cold house. It's miserable. Cut back on something else.

My Mum always said put on a jumper it's already paid for.....
Buy him some good merino base layers and then he won't need the heating on.
Have you got individual thermostatic valves (TRV) on your radiators at least then you can reduce the temps in unoccupied rooms.

I'd just say "my contribution to the gas bill is X every month. If you want to rack up a massive bill heating the whole house unnecessarily, then fund it yourself"

Only works in your circs as you appear to keep finances separate.

For those of us who really feel the cold just putting on another jumper really doesn't hack it. I wear warm jumpers in cold weather, but I still need the ambient temperature to be warm enough.

If I am cold I am utterly miserable, and unproductive.

Why not buy a plug in radiator or a convector heater just to heat his office?

I work from home and I have it on for a few hours in the morning to warm the place up and then a few hours in the evening when I'm moving around the house but turn it off about an hour before before as it's not necessary once I'm under the duvet -- and during the day the main heating is off and I just have a little electric heater under my desk if I'm getting chilly.

I'm not one to sit in a pile of jumpers at 14c with numb fingers just to make a point, but in winter to wear a thick jumper isn't miserly it's just seasonally appropriate clothing and there is no need to significantly heat rooms you aren't using.

The fact he's managed to run up a heating bill into the thousands is outrageous and genuinely quite baffling to me and speaks of a disturbing waste of money and energy.

Equate it to a weekly spend that he enjoys, a takeaway or an outing. Then have him chose which he would rather have.
Having said that, I hate being cold as well, so would probably turn on the heating. 😁

Vivienne do you mind me asking how much you spend on gas/electric per month? Last winter we were averaging £660pm. Can't really cut back elsewhere to pay for that! It's a 3 bed house albeit Victorian

It depends how cold your house is and what else he’s doing.
If he’s walking round in a t shirt while turning the heating up and refusing a jumper then he’s unreasonable.
If it’s a cold house, and he generally feels the cold anyway, and is in a warm jumper and socks etc and still cold, then he’s not.

It's not just the room he works in though, he also wants it in in the living room when he's in it and to heat the whole house before we go to bed

That doesn’t seem unreasonable to me. He’s not heating the whole house all day, just the rooms which are in use.

Why would he refuse to pay more towards the gas bill if he is the reason it is higher?

Me and DP constantly bicker about the heat. He likes a warm environment, I prefer a cool environment where if I'm cold I can layer up.

£660 per month...thats ridiculous....that can't be right surely...i spend that a year.

What temperature does he want it Vs you, my DF would happily have the thermostat set at 15 and just put a jumper on, which is prudent unreasonable (DM definitely thinks so) I would rather it's a balmy 23 but that's not practical in a 120 year old house that's largely open plan on the ground floor (loved it when I lived in a well insulated new build flat, DH used to walk around in shorts in mid winter) so I am also unreasonable. There is compromise to be had between these extremes. It's hard to say who is unreasonable without knowing where each of you stand.

@reallyagain

Vivienne do you mind me asking how much you spend on gas/electric per month? Last winter we were averaging £660pm. Can't really cut back elsewhere to pay for that! It's a 3 bed house albeit Victorian

What kind of heating do you have? That's absolutely insane.

We have a two bed terrace and our gas bill last winter was £40 per month.

Tbh, if he's the cold one, he should be layering up. He can always get warmer with clothes and blankets and hot water bottles -- what are you supposed to do when he heats the whole house up before you go to bed and now it's too hot?

He had a shirt on this eve whereas I had an M&S thermal too under my top/woolly cardy.

Oddly in the car he'll have the window down in the winter!

Does your heating balance out with other savings? I justified higher heating bills last year because I wasn’t spending on rail tickets or lunches - overall working at home was still lots cheaper. To an extent heating is a cost of working from home. Not to tropical levels, but if he’s still cold in jumper and slippers then it’s fair enough to heat the space he’s in to a reasonable temperature. Heating empty space he’s not in or to the level he can sit in his pants is just wasteful and ridiculous though.

@reallyagain

Vivienne do you mind me asking how much you spend on gas/electric per month? Last winter we were averaging £660pm. Can't really cut back elsewhere to pay for that! It's a 3 bed house albeit Victorian

What temperature is he turning it up to to spend that much!

Also we live in a similar house to you and our bills last winter maxed out at £270 a month and I thought that was huge, and we had a one year old who is looked after at home by us or grandparents

Gas central heating albeit last year was with BG