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Original poster

Adult children birthday cards

42 replies

Halloweencat · 01/11/2021 02:49

This is a first world problem I know, well not even a problem, just a question really:
Do young people still do birthday cards? Being a middle aged mum approaching 60 I'm from a world where family & friends send birthday cards to each other. Its my son's birthday this week & I feel so sad for him at the amount of cards he'll get. We haven't got a very big extended family so I've worked out he'll only get 5 cards, including from us parents. Cousins, although they're all good friends don't send each other cards. He & his mates don't send each other cards either & he doesn't have a serious girlfriend at the moment. He says he's not bothered, they just don't do birthday cards. He'll go out with them at the weekend & have a good time & of course we'll spoil him. It's the same for his dad, he gets hardly any. Is this how it is for the youngsters & their birthdays now? I know this is not a problem, if he says they don't bother, but I just feel a little bit disappointed for him getting so few, compared to when he was at school & used to have a party every year. I suppose its a generational thing, times have changed

OP posts:
bizzey · 01/11/2021 02:57

Hello mum . !,😘

It doesn't look *good "on the mantle piece ..but it is fine .
His friends will do lots of messages to remember the day .
And in fact , end up with more messages than cards xx

Your card will be the most important .

SoniaFouler · 01/11/2021 03:00

He’s not bothered and doesn’t care. I’m not sure why you’re so sad and disappointed on his behalf, nor why you’ve tried to calculate how many cards he will get. Whilst it may mean something to you, to him it’s one less thing to display for a week before chucking in the bin. It’s not like he has no friends and won’t be celebrating his birthday with anybody at all.

bizzey · 01/11/2021 03:04

My mum has it in her head ...
The more cards you get ...the more you are liked/popular .

Ragwort · 01/11/2021 03:13

No I really don't think young adults send cards to each other, my DS is 20 and (apart from a girlfriend who sent him cards) I can't think of any cards he's received in the last few years. Equally he wouldn't dream of sending cards to anyone ... He does to DH and I but that's it.

rrhuth · 01/11/2021 03:17

I'm in my 40s and don't care about cards.

He seems happy, so no need to be sad for him.

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 01/11/2021 03:36

I'm quite happy they are dying out and being replaced with text and calls.

They are really wasteful and terrible for the environment.

Don't feel sad about it, he's quite happy.

starrynight21 · 01/11/2021 03:38

Why are you sad for him ? Because he isn't getting as many cards as he did when he was a little boy ? Time to move on, he is grown up now, this isn't bothering him so don't let it bother you. Young adults only do text messages these days, that's all they send and all they expect .

maofteens · 01/11/2021 04:00

I'm 59 and I don't send cards to anyone - my sisters may get an ecard on their birthdays. If I'm seeing someone in their birthday and giving a gift I'll include a card.
My kids certainly only get cards from me, my cousin, maybe my sisters, and their one surviving grandparent. Not from friends.

PrincessNutella · 01/11/2021 04:16

I have cards from friends I haven't even opened. I know they have probably just signed their names to the commercial card inside, so I get the general idea. I really don't care. I found such a card from a year ago recently. I still was not curious enough to open the envelope.

onelittlefrog · 01/11/2021 04:37

Going against the grain a bit here because I like sending and receiving cards. I exchange cards with friends always on birthdays and a few friends I write to through the year, but I know it's not that common.

I'm quite young (30's) and I appreciate a carefully chosen card with a message as much, if not more than a present. But we tend to send arty/ thoughtful cards rather than the mainstream, impersonal Clintons stuff. The kind of cards you get from the big high street card shops (Me To You, Boofle etc) where people just write "To X, Happy Birthday, From X" with no thought are pretty pointless and wasteful.

Card sending is definitely dying out amongst younger people generally - and there's nothing wrong with that. It's better for the environment to send a text or an e-card.

Namechangedforthethousandthtim · 01/11/2021 04:43

No cards aren't really a thing anymore.

Thankfully

Such a waste of paper and space.

Cocogreen · 01/11/2021 06:08

My son is 24. He and his friends do not care about cards at all. For his birthday he received one from us and one from his married sister. Did not put them up anywhere, they're sitting flat on his desk.
He has many, many friends - cards aren't important to them ( he does buy his Dad and i birthday cards because he knows we like them).

Briony123 · 01/11/2021 06:21

Greetings cards were introduced by the Victorians as a means of boosting the new Royal Mail. A marketing gimmick. Older people like them because they show that someone remembered their birthday was approaching (or has a list of everyone's birthdays so may not actually have "remembered"). Younger people send texts and end up in a dialogue, which is actually more meaningful than a piece of card, really...

DockOTheBay · 01/11/2021 06:33

I'm 30 and don't care about cards. To be honest I think they're a waste of money and I feel guilty about binning them a week later. I don't send birthday cards to anyone except my parents and my husband grandparents because they're quite old school and would be offended if we didn't.

For Christmas we send cards to relatives who we aren't going to see over the Christmas period. If we will see then over Christmas anyway, we can wish them "Merry Christmas" in person so no need for a card to do the same. Again, the exception is my husband's grandparents.

LydiaFTM · 01/11/2021 06:47

I'm realising from this thread I'm probably in the minority now. I'm 35 so not young but not old. I love sending and receiving cards. I always make sure to send one to close friends but only a couple return the compliment which I have to admit irks me a bit... silly I know. I know they are just tokens, but imo go a long way to showing you are thinking of someone. The worst is when you just get some one line message on Facebook because they've had a notification remind them it's your birthday.

Twilightstarbright · 01/11/2021 07:04

Mid 30s. Half of my friends send them, half don’t but text/WhatsApp/create a collage of photos on social media of themselves and the birthday girl.

I love them, especially from friends who live abroad because they are in a different language.

SantasLittleHoHoHo · 01/11/2021 07:07

I'm in my 20's and send cards for everything 😂 birthdays, new houses, new jobs, sympathy, christenings etc! I love a good card!

Peaplant20 · 01/11/2021 07:15

I’m early 30s not sure if that counts as young adult but me and my female friends all send birthday cards. DH and his friends do not though!

Peaplant20 · 01/11/2021 07:16

(Generally)

BoxOfDreams · 01/11/2021 07:16

I'm your age but you sound like my MIL! She's very invested in how popular she is and thinks others feel the same. I've known her 35 years and every Christmas she asks us how many Christmas cards we've received, and if 'so and so' has sent a card? I've noticed her counting the birthday cards too if she's been here when cards are up.

I have 2 adult DC, one likes a card, the other really not fussed. I'm sure your son is fine about not receiving many, so no need to fret on his behalf.

girlmom21 · 01/11/2021 07:26

My best friend and I (mid 20s) buy each other cards, but other than that the only cards I got for my birthday 6 weeks ago were from DP (he hates them), the kids, in-laws and my parents

OldTinHat · 01/11/2021 07:39

I'm a card fan. I would rather have a card than a gift. I send cards for all sorts of occasions, to me it means someone has thought and made an effort to share that thought. A text or ecard seems a bit last minute and less thoughtful.

Whereismumhiding3 · 01/11/2021 08:23

I'm middle aged and haven't posted cards for years. I don't do Xmas cards either anymore unless it's to put with a gift I'm posting or someone I know likes them. I hate getting lots of Xmas cards and am not bothered about birthday cards. Big birthdays fair enough I'll do 50th, 40th, 21st and 18th

Each year I buy each of my DC a birthday and Xmas card, as do my parents. Other than that we aren't bothered

It's not good for the environment, postage is expensive - unless you post it at least week in advance half the time it arrives late- and my generation and younger mostly don't care for them. I can't park by our nearest postbox and can't walk far.

It's far more usual to wish happy birthday via sm especially fb these days.

OP if your son isn't bothered, listen to him. You don't need to be upset in his behalf

DappledThings · 01/11/2021 08:32

We send cards to our parents, our DC and our siblings.

Any other adult we would get a card for if they were having a celebration. Not otherwise

BrilliantBetty · 01/11/2021 08:44

He'll get messages and social media birthday wishes.

I prefer it this way. I'm 30 so a bit older than your son but it's nice to get birthday wishes on Facebook / IG it means I don't have to display it in my house and worry about when to bin it. Then actually bin it. Plus it usually involves photos which I like, people post pics of previous occasions we've spent together - more special than cards.

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