Adult children birthday cards

[Halloweencat]

This is a first world problem I know, well not even a problem, just a question really:
Do young people still do birthday cards? Being a middle aged mum approaching 60 I'm from a world where family & friends send birthday cards to each other. Its my son's birthday this week & I feel so sad for him at the amount of cards he'll get. We haven't got a very big extended family so I've worked out he'll only get 5 cards, including from us parents. Cousins, although they're all good friends don't send each other cards. He & his mates don't send each other cards either & he doesn't have a serious girlfriend at the moment. He says he's not bothered, they just don't do birthday cards. He'll go out with them at the weekend & have a good time & of course we'll spoil him. It's the same for his dad, he gets hardly any. Is this how it is for the youngsters & their birthdays now? I know this is not a problem, if he says they don't bother, but I just feel a little bit disappointed for him getting so few, compared to when he was at school & used to have a party every year. I suppose its a generational thing, times have changed

Cards are just such a waste of time, money, resources etc. Unless you know the recipient highly values the card, keeps them etc, then you would be better all round to do a call, visit, email etc wishing them a happy birthday.

I only give cards if I'm giving a gift - seems odd not to attach a card to the parcel.

I dont give christmas cards.

It gets silly - I've had a card one congratulating me on my pregnancy. Mental. The fact that a card exists for this is bonkers enough, but that someone would see it and buy it - "congrats on a successful shag" is the message it sends (metaphorically).

OP its odd that you feel sad for him on this - such a waste of emotion.

Waste of emotion is right, but you're also being quite disrespectful - he says he is not bothered, why don't you believe him?

I love writing and receiving bday cards, esp if there’s proper thought behind it.
I am early 50s though.
I think it’s not as common among young people although DS ( late teens) always gets a few for his bday from friends w a tenner in.
There are a few friends I always send/give a card to, prob about 5-6 per year, dh, close family. Cards can be recycled too.

I like to send and receive cards.
I feel it shows those I care about that I'm thinking of them on their Birthday and have taken the time to choose a card for them.
I'd not be impressed with a Birthday message on my phone.

Card sending has massively dropped off. I used to send loads and even I have nearly stopped, just immediate family and older family friends who don't have social media. Less than ten Christmas cards for the same reason.

My youngest age 7 gets the most cards because she has traditional parties. My eldest is 16 and used to get loads, now about five.

It's sort of a shame but it's how life has changed.

My son is 29. I always get him cards - but he hates 'stuff' as he calls it!!! I end up keeping them at my house.

My MIL acts like this. I don't get it why does anyone want a piece of decorative cardboard.

I don't send friends cards and no one I know sends me one. The only person who gets one from my family is MIL because she says it's rude to not send one and every year her card arrives for me and it sits there alone until it's bin time. Just weird in this day and age when we know it's not environmentally sensible to take part in this silliness. I get before email and internet it made sense but not now.

Many people nowadays don't do cards; they text or e-mail or use social media.

I do send Christmas cards, other holiday cards, good-luck cards before exams and the like, thank you cards and leaving cards. Not really birthday cards, come to think of it, unless I'm also sending a present. I also don't send sympathy cards; I'd write a letter instead.Younger people don't send cards nearly as much, though a surprising number do send thank you cards, I'm happy to note.

@Halloweencat

YANBU. Yes of course you can send birthday cards to adult 'children.' I ALWAYS send cards, and love to receive them. I am in my early 50s.

YABU to say that someone who is nearly 60 is middle aged though!

4 or 5 cards from the most important people is better than 20 cards from everyone and their dog IMO.

Why do you need 20 cards? All saying "To XXX, [printed message] From XXX". What is the point??? Is it really that important? And then in a couple of weeks you're just going to have to chuck them in the recycling anyway (or keep them in a box somewhere until it's time to move house and you look through the box and think "why the f* do I have a whole box full of cards all saying "To XXX, [printed message] from XXX".

Why feel sad for him if he doesn't feel sad?

@appleturnovers

4 or 5 cards from the most important people is better than 20 cards from everyone and their dog IMO.

Why do you need 20 cards? All saying "To XXX, [printed message] From XXX". What is the point??? Is it really that important? And then in a couple of weeks you're just going to have to chuck them in the recycling anyway (or keep them in a box somewhere until it's time to move house and you look through the box and think "why the f* do I have a whole box full of cards all saying "To XXX, [printed message] from XXX".

Why feel sad for him if he doesn't feel sad?

It's the old school equivalent of people needing 'likes' on facebook.

I know a 63 y.o. woman who has around 20 penpals. She is also in a book club, she goes to Church, and she has 4 adult children and 9 grandchildren. The last birthday she had (August,) she proudly posted half a dozen photos on facebook, (because that's how many she needed to get them all in,) of the 49 birthday cards she had received. Forty fucking nine!

It was like she saw it as some massive accolade that clearly proved she was MASSIVELY popular.

I am obviously not too popular, as I only got 13 birthday cards this year. And one of them was from the cat. 😸

I'm 45 and get 3-4 cards on my birthday. It never occurred to me that this was a problem! I have loads of friends and they text me on my birthday.

I do tend to find them clutter and an extra thing to deal with the day after my birthday. Don't feel bad for your son!!

Interesting thread

If you’re sad that people aren’t wishing him a happy birthday, ask him how many people post on his Facebook wall to say it:

I am end Forties and don't do cards. Not even DD gets one from us for her birthday. We do ecards, emails, WhatsApp, FB.

There may be a large card from work for milestone birthdays though.

The only one is my elderly mum, she is quite alone as all family is already gone apart from a sister-in-law and us.

DD does cards if she gives a present but not just a card, she will just message her friends.

Lots of cards can't be properly recycled if they are full of glitter and decorations. So they are quite wasteful to the envrionment. Plus they cost a fortune for being up for a couple of hours/a day or two.

And don't get me about the stupid poems or cringey text in lots of cards.

I don't send or receive cards. Texts, what's apps and social media is for birthday wishes. I will give a card if I give a present.

Count your blessings OP! Your son has parents who love him and each other, family/cousins who are friends and he has his mates. Its quality, not quantity, that counts.