To not let my 4 year old go to a party with a cough

[Mumofgirlswholiketoplaywithmud]

My four year old has a new cough. Her covid swab for this cough was negative 4 days ago. There was a party yesterday which I didn't take her to, as I thought that if she passed on the cough then parents there who were self-employed would have to miss work awaiting their children's PCR tests (which is what has happened to us). I went with my cough-free younger daughter (age 2) who had also been invited. Other people there said they would have brought their children with new coughs if the swabs were negative. Should I have taken both (yabu)? Or left the coughing child behind (yanbu)? I feel like such a bad mum (even though she had a fun afternoon with her dad).

If child had a pcr and negative as yours did, I would have gone

It’s a cold

No you should not have brought your coughing child. It doesn't matter that it was a negative PCR - if your child has a cough, then passes said cough onto other children, then their parents have to keep their DC off school / crèche, etc before they can get a PCR test. It's not about "it's just a cold", it's that any cold symptoms require a PCR test now.

Poor kid won't be getting out much at all this Autumn/Winter will she?

I would've left it up to the host tbh, just incase they had a problem with it.

Of course you are not being unreasonable. Nobody wants to be near a kid or adult that is coughing constantly in the current climate. People would definitely notice

@coconutpie

No you should not have brought your coughing child. It doesn't matter that it was a negative PCR - if your child has a cough, then passes said cough onto other children, then their parents have to keep their DC off school / crèche, etc before they can get a PCR test. It's not about "it's just a cold", it's that any cold symptoms require a PCR test now.

If every cold symptom requires a PCR we’ll all be taking them constantly!

I probably would t have taken her no, but equally I wouldn't have taken the other child either!

That was very thoughtful of you, YANBU

I only had a runny nose and test daily due to my close contact job. All my tests were negative until Friday when I tested positive on lateral flow and now PCR. Test and trace said I could have been infectious for up to 5
days prior to showing as positive

OP you did the right thing.

It depends I think. Dd2 missed an event this week despite a negative test as it was a family event with people we don't often see and also elderly.

If it was with kids she was going to spend the rest of the week with at school I would have probably taken her, as she would have been seeing them anyway.

I think you made the right call, especially if she had a fun afternoon at home. As you say, any kid she passes it on to is then going to need a test, so you'd have been passing on inconvenience to other parents.

You were considerate of other people. Not many people are it seems. I would have appreciated this if I was hosting or if my child was attending.

That was really thoughtful of you.

I think either decision would have been fine tbh.

If it was a bad cough, with other symptoms of a cold I would have kept her home. If it was just a mild winter cough I'd probably have taken her.

Thing is even if you know it's a cold, if other children pick it up their parents will probably have to test them anyway, as you say it can then cause issues.

At some point we will start to ignore cold symptoms and stop testing for covid, but for now it is still in place and so you were thoughtful for others' convenience as much as their health.

You did the right thing.

I'd have taken her if she was well enough to go. My DD gets chest infections so has coughs regularly.
I'm not going to make her miss activities for 10 weeks of the year because of a cough.

Most young kids will have a cough at the moment. I don't think its realistic to not go places when you've had a negative pcr. If the parents were really bothered about missing work then presumably they wouldn't have organised a party of lots of young kids at their house

Aw no, I think you were being really thoughtful. Probably a bit on the cautious side, but not a bad thing to do.

I think it’s a very considerate thing to do and I applaud you OP. No one wants to catch a cough at the moment, covid or not.

If my child had a negative pcr test result I would have taken her. Given the time of year I am sure there'd be other little ones with coughs and colds there.

Thank goodness for Mumsnet, it's great hearing the range of replies. I think that in future I'll take into account whether she would have been mixing anyway at school with the children, and age of adults attending etc. Thank you everyone x

@coconutpie

No you should not have brought your coughing child. It doesn't matter that it was a negative PCR - if your child has a cough, then passes said cough onto other children, then their parents have to keep their DC off school / crèche, etc before they can get a PCR test. It's not about "it's just a cold", it's that any cold symptoms require a PCR test now.

Really.. that's a new one! Can you give us a link on the government website where it says this lease..

Having seen how a simple "cough" can floor my friend's daughter I've always kept my children if visibly ill away from unnecessary events like parties. Even without covid it's really selfish to knowingly share germs around when you don't know how they'll affect others.

YANBU

Yanbu OP
You were thoughtful
Whilst it was a negative test for covid, you're absolutely right that
A. you'd be passing on a nasty coughing virus to other children . Just because it's not COVID it doesn't mean that a nasty cough virus isn't harmful- to those with asthma or other vulnerabilities ( I end up in A&E on oxygen 3-4x a year as did my son until he hit teens despite good inhaler routine)
B. As you said, other parents would equally have to get their children tested with a new continuous cough bc they can't just say "oh we got cough from OPs DD who didn't have Covid" as they can only guess at where they caught it

But you can’t leave the thread before you get presented with your medal OP!