Is this weird

[Privateandconfidentialplease]

My mum reads out all her text messages with her new boyfriend. They then work out together what to write back. Is this normal? Obviously there is history but it is too long and outing for here. I dont read out my messages to my hubby and he doesnt read his out to me. We may comment that so and so text me something but we dont read them out and concoct the response together. Even personal ones.
Yabu- I read all my texts out to my other half and they help me reply.
Yanbu- I might discuss some text contents but that's it.

Wtf? Who are the 14% who need assistance replying to a text?

No, bit co-dependant imo.

Of course YANBU it’s weird.
(YABU for using the word “hubby” tho)

Surely you meant your teenage dsis? Not a bloody grown woman?

I will sometimes discuss texts and he does with me particularly if it is a sensitive topic - usually divorce/ex/step related (we are both second time arounders) or sometimes work issues as we both have difficult decisions sometimes and certainly in my role I can often feel isolated and want to sound out his thoughts as he knows my organisation well and can often give a more separate/outside view whereas I am sometimes too close to the problem/frustrated etc and I value his opinion, as he also values mine in some of his situations. I think that’s healthy and that we both see each other as capable professionals dealing with often difficult and stressful situations. I certainly wouldn’t discuss every text with him and he certainly wouldn’t with me either!

@Merryoldgoat

Wtf? Who are the 14% who need assistance replying to a text?

My mum is not stupid so it's not a lack of understanding. It's every text too. Not just the odd text.

Sounds like he’s controlling.

The odd one, arranging dates or something, yes.

Everyone? Weird, codependent, abusive, surrendered... pick your poison.

@overnightangel

Of course YANBU it’s weird. (YABU for using the word “hubby” tho)

I accept that iabu using the word hubby...😁

Well, obviously it’s weird - you don’t need this thread tell you that. And the fact there’s a history makes it even less likely you need a thread to tell you. What do you actually want to gain from this? Have you got worries about her and you want to get them off your chest?

Urgh. My mother does this sometimes. Apparently she's worried about how to word a text in case she offends....how someone can be offended being asked what time they'd like to meet for a walk is beyond me, but there you go. I agree - it's bloody odd.

What would her husband say or do if she just replied to a text without mentioning it to him? So, they are in the living room, her phone beeps, she replied to the message but doesn't say anything to him. What would he do?

@Cocomarine

Well, obviously it’s weird - you don’t need this thread tell you that. And the fact there’s a history makes it even less likely you need a thread to tell you. What do you actually want to gain from this? Have you got worries about her and you want to get them off your chest?

I thought it was weird but i doubted myself and thought perhaps I was the weird one. There is history with my mum but seperate issues. She has only had this man as a boyfriend for 6 months. This man is bad news but I dont want to say too much online.

It seems weird to me - sure if it's a general text from the family or good friends I'll probably tell DH the gist if I think he will be interested.

But is your Mum happy with doing this? That's what is important.

@HollowTalk

What would her husband say or do if she just replied to a text without mentioning it to him? So, they are in the living room, her phone beeps, she replied to the message but doesn't say anything to him. What would he do?

She wouldn't do it. She would always check with him.

@starfishmummy

It seems weird to me - sure if it's a general text from the family or good friends I'll probably tell DH the gist if I think he will be interested. But is your Mum happy with doing this? That's what is important.

Yes she is happy with it. I think.

Has she always done this with partners or just him?

If it's new behaviour with him then yes, it's a controlling relationship.
Massive red flag!

Just him but she didnt really start using a mobile phone properly till about 4 years ago and didnt have a boyfriend until now. Up until then it was off unless she needed it and didnt text.

Does he read his texts out to her too?

Have you asked her why she does it or is this one of the scenarios where the partner has to be with her at all times too even when seeing you?

My mum goes most places on her own so he isn't controlling in that respect.

@Privateandconfidentialplease

My mum goes most places on her own so he isn't controlling in that respect.

What happens if she gets a text when she's out? Does she answer it, or wait until she gets home so he can check see it first.

He sounds like really bad news tbh.

She waits until she is back to read it to him before responding

If Lady Gawain and I are responding to a message that concerns us both we will sometimes confer, likewise if the reply needs careful/tactful phrasing, but certainly not routinely.