To think this care home visiting is restrictive and unfair?

[Bitconfused75]

My mum is in a care home with dementia and has been declining rapidly over the last six months.

She lives in a privately owned care home with 14 residents and since the start of Covid the visiting seems to have got worse and worse.

The home had an outbreak of covid about 4 months ago and stopped visits for a month after that. I really understand how hard it must be for the staff but not to see my mum has been incredibly difficult.

The policy up until now for visits has been garden visits with a lateral flow test and full PPE - one a week per resident or a window visit with her on the phone on one side of the window and us on the other talking to her. She often struggles to use the phone and there's no privacy as she's in the TV room so not ideal at.all.

Now the plan is for one visit per day for the whole home for 15 minutes. That day's visitor needs to be vaccinated and wearing full PPE.
Each resident is allowed one designated person to visit.
So chances are I'll be able to see my mum once a fortnight for 15 minutes wearing full PPE so she won't recognise me and I can't even give her a hug.

The home owners won't speak to families - it's all on the staff who are doing an amazing job of caring for my mum but it feels incredibly detrimental to mum's mental health and I'm struggling with it.

Anyone had similar or has had a more positive experience?

Are you sure it isn't one visit per resident per day? Otherwise I'd be calling the cqc.

No definitely one visit to the home per day. I've thought about calling the CQC but am concerned about the reaction of the owners - I really don't want to have to move my mum because the staff have been really good.

Your options are CQC, getting a solicitor to draft a letter (John's campaign have templates), raising it with the owners directly or her social worker if she has one. These restrictions are unlawful.

CQC. The owners won't know its you and you'll likely not be the only one complaining. You will regret it if you don't fight. I am so, so sorry.

Is she self funded or are the local authority paying all/part of the fees? You might be able to contact the local authority about it and get them to step in, that would have the ability to keep you anonymous :)

You're not being unreasonable but this is the norm in care homes now. In fact one visit per day, albeit brief, is far more than most.

This is the problem when the government are happy to remove restrictions while covid is still rampant. While normal life returns for many, vulnerable people are left behind.

This is wrong and makes me incredibly angry. I have in the past had difficulty with care providers for my son who has LD.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/visiting-care-homes-during-coronavirus/update-on-policies-for-visiting-arrangements-in-care-homes

You need to print off any relevant government guidance. Highlight all the relevant parts and send it to them with a letter requesting the schedule of visiting you think you and your mum need. Ask them what needs to be put in place to make it as safe as possible. E.g well ventilated room, heated pod outside or whatever you are prepared to accept. If this doesn't do the trick, get a social worker involved and also approach your MP. Start off nice, but don't be afraid to make noises.

That's awful Op. Really awful. You need to protest big time. My mum is also in a private care home with dementia. She is allowed five designated visitors and two one hour visits per week. Visitors need to take a test and wear mask and gloves. It's still tough but nothing like you are experiencing with your mum. 💐

Sounds very excessive given the current climate. I could have understood a year ago.
My mum died last year but I still follow her amazing carehome on FB and they are back to normal. Totally. Visits all day whenever you want, Christmas fayre open to all in a week's time. Curry nights for friends and family.
Have to wear a mask and be vaccinated or take a negative test result, but that's to be expected.
I'd definitely take this further in your case.

If your family was looking at getting your mum moved to a home which allows visits how would you want them organised?

It sounds so incredibly hard, but if the home has only had one outbreak of Covid in over 18 months, they are doing incredibly well and I can see how they will feel their policy is justified

Hard as it is the consequences of bring Covid into the home would be catastrophic for the residents and the staff.
One single visitor who allegedly tested negative, wore PPE and was the only person to visit brought it into a place near me, dementia patients are wanderers, it spread to over 40 patients and a handful of staff leaving the place dangerously short of staff with many many Covid pneumonia’s and end of life decisions and consequent deaths.
Catastrophic.

The staff will never recover from the horror of the situation.
That is in the last month.
I do see why they are being super protective. I do see why you are so very heartbroken about not hugging and seeing your lovely mum x

@SW1amp

It sounds so incredibly hard, but if the home has only had one outbreak of Covid in over 18 months, they are doing incredibly well and I can see how they will feel their policy is justified

My mum's home has only had one outbreak with a much more open regime (and many more residents). They do a great job. Without wanting to cause anyone offence, the average length of stay in a care home is 2 years so I feel that quality of life is very important.

YANBU OP it's shit.

I can't give you a positive story because my dad had dementia and died in March after deteriorating rapidly.

Between last December and March I only saw him twice because of covid cases in the home. And they only allowed those visits because he was on end of life care by then.

I was hoping things would improve in care homes by now.

She is self funded at £700 a week and @CorrBlimeyGG that's one visit between 14 residents - not one each.
There's no visiting room and no pod - it would cost them too much apparently.

CorrBlimeyGG - OP is saying only one visitor in the home per day, not per resident. She can only visit for 15 minutes every 14 days, as there are 14 residents. That is far more restrictive than most homes. The one I visit is no time restriction, anyone can visit after LFT. Face masks must be worn though - which if your relative is deaf and confused, is very difficult.At the height of the pandemic my relative didn't understand why her family appeared to have deserted her or only shouted in through a narrow window gap, whilst wearing a mask. That went on for months. It is a show of "protecting the vulnerable" after the government's shameful neglect last year, but is causing great harm. Shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted. I don't blame staff - they were traumatised and neglected too.

@Bitconfused75
My Dads care home is very similar & it’s a shit show to be honest.
We are allowed 1 visit a fortnight at a time we have been ‘allocated’ for 30 minutes.
His home is a 90 minute drive each way.
There’s 5 of us so we only see him every few months in a room separated by a Perspex screen (because we can only go individually).
It’s a joke

That's shit...

She's the customer...

They need to facilitate visits within the law....

One visit per HOME weekly is outrageous.

Look at the deprivation of liberty safeguards (DOLS)

Barbaric and cruel.

I would go higher, way higher - MPs and all sorts.

Plus the needing to be vaccinated thing - WTAF. I don't understand how 2021 has suddenly allowed discrimination to become 'acceptable' ?
Vaccinated people can still carry, pass and spread the virus.

@IamtheDevilsAvocado

That's shit...

She's the customer...

They need to facilitate visits within the law....

One visit per HOME weekly is outrageous.

Look at the deprivation of liberty safeguards (DOLS)

This Good luck OP

Small independently run homes I thought were more likely to go the extra mile for visiting rather than what you are experiencing. Owners of DM care home have two places with 30-40 beds and I can go twice a week for about an hour.
Getting full staff cover a major issue. Our home presently waiting on new manager, a deputy and several more.,.
Far fewer staff cars in car park than before.
Pretty chaotic when I visit but I have resisted saying anything as they are trying their best. However the owners are around and doing extra duties, so visible and accountable.

Your Place may be really struggling for cover and possibly doesn’t even have the extra capacity to introduce visitors. That’s what I would be assuming. On balance I would contact the CQC if the owners are not visible and give you no mechanism to hear what’s going on

[quote Footballfrenzy2021]@Bitconfused75
My Dads care home is very similar & it’s a shit show to be honest.
We are allowed 1 visit a fortnight at a time we have been ‘allocated’ for 30 minutes.
His home is a 90 minute drive each way.
There’s 5 of us so we only see him every few months in a room separated by a Perspex screen (because we can only go individually).
It’s a joke[/quote]
Are you allowed to take him out? Like could you [if mobility etc allowed] collect him and take him out for the day, or on a little holiday?

I am so bloody angry that this is seen as acceptable.

My grandmother's care home is nothing like this, when they have a positive case within the home its locked down for 14 days. Outside of this each resident can have 5 registered visitors as and whenever they choose within the visiting hours, but must be fully vaxed and a negative lateral flow. Anyone who doesn't meat these requirements can do a 'pod' visit, a small screened off seating area where you can speak with the residnet but no contact.

@ifoundthebread

My grandmother's care home is nothing like this, when they have a positive case within the home its locked down for 14 days. Outside of this each resident can have 5 registered visitors as and whenever they choose within the visiting hours, but must be fully vaxed and a negative lateral flow. Anyone who doesn't meat these requirements can do a 'pod' visit, a small screened off seating area where you can speak with the residnet but no contact.

What about if the resident has capacity and is happy to hug their unvaccinated relative?

I really cannot believe this is happening. 2021 and places are discriminating, depriving people of their human rights, segregating people etc. I hope the Daily Fail picks up on this, I think it's disgusting and I hope more and more people begin to rebel and resist.

Call your local social services help desk and ask for advice. The home need to be able to justify why they have such a restrictive policy and given that we have lateral flow tests, and vaccinations, I’d doubt they’d be able to. I’d be questioning whether such a restrictive policy would be emotional abuse. I work for SS and have not come across any homes with restrictions like this recently.