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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I can’t go, can I...

92 replies

VaguelyInteresting · 30/10/2021 08:10

I’m supposed to be leaving for my friends hen party at midday. It’s an overnight thing with dinner, cocktails, nightclub etc.

Last night I found a fucking head louse in my hair whilst I was deep conditioning it. I’m mortified- have never had them before as an adult- can only assume DS has them too. I’ve only found the one so far on the either of us, but there must be more, as it wasn’t tiny. We both have a lot of hair so I don’t doubt the duckers are hiding out. So that’s one thing to deal with.

Then I’ve woken up this morning with a very slightly blocked nose and a sort of pre-coldy feeling- you know SLIGHTLY tickly throat, SLIGHTLY sniffy- which I’ve had first thing in the mornings on and off for WEEKS and it’s never come to anything (and I’ve covid tested etc), but I was sneezing last night, and DS has the Dreadful Cold that everyone’s complaining about for a week now, so I assume it’s the start of that- but I don’t really know. Might be nothing. In the age of Covid- it’s hard (and antisocial) to be sanguine isn’t it. I feel perfectly well but 🤷🏼‍♀️

If I don’t go, I think my friend will be really upset- we recently reconciled after a few years not speaking.

If I do go, I’m potentially going to make everyone else uncomfortable because I can’t very well go and say “I’m not hugging. Or bringing heads close together. Or sharing hair tools” or sit there periodically sniffing without saying why (and I wouldn’t anyway. I’m truthful to the point it generally causes me more issues tbh). And of course everyone is then going to worry about catching lice, or a cold, which will make them worry about covid.

I’d love everyone to say “go get some Hedrin! Don’t worry about the ambiguous stuffy nose!” but ... I don’t know? I feel like I’m BU either way?!

OP posts:
BackBackBack · 30/10/2021 11:15

I think you did the right thing by asking - and it was really nice of you to be considerate.

Glad only one nit so far. Dose yourself up on Sudafed (get the pseudoephedrine stuff as it does work!) and go and enjoy yourself Smile

Sunshineboo · 30/10/2021 11:26

please please tie your hair up in a bun and leave it like that. i would not be happy if a critter slipped through the hedrin net and i caught lice on a hen do.

other than that have a fab time

Gwenhwyfar · 30/10/2021 11:28

"How likely is it that you’ll be placing your head against someone else’s for a prolonged period of time?"

Do you have time? Don't they just jump?
I'm amazed that people lice can now be cured in one go. They couldn't when I was young.

Crinkle77 · 30/10/2021 11:33

Aarrgghh wish people would stop saying do a LFT and if negative go. This is what someone did in our office. Felt unwell, did a LFT which was negative so came in but went home again sick. Turned out he did have covid and passed it on to someone else in the office.

whynotwhatknot · 30/10/2021 11:39

cold is a symptom now maybe not officially but thats why alot of people are passing it round because they think it cant be covid

also lft is not advised when symptomatic

ditalini · 30/10/2021 12:01

I don't think most adults really get in positions that facilitate the transmission of head lice, hence them being mainly a childhood issue (plus one of the "joys" of parenthood.)

And no, they don't jump.

darkn · 30/10/2021 12:08

If I do go, I’m potentially going to make everyone else uncomfortable because I can’t very well go and say “I’m not hugging. Or bringing heads close together. Or sharing hair tools” ... And of course everyone is then going to worry about catching lice, or a cold, which will make them worry about covid

if you put on your treatment asap, it should clear it up. I'm not sure about head lice but I had pubic lice and after the spays are put on and all linen etc is washed appropriately you should be fine.

SouthernFashionista · 30/10/2021 12:31

Who’s got time for that?

MrsSkylerWhite · 30/10/2021 12:34

Hairs easily sorted. If it is The Dreadful Cold though, I wouldn’t go. It is very unpleasant.

PegasusReturns · 30/10/2021 12:35

Glad you’re going.

It wouldn’t occur to me to mention headlice or be in the slightest bit bothered about someone else having headlice.

DarceyDashwood · 30/10/2021 12:50

I wish people would stop telling the OP that she doesn’t want to go. She has said repeatedly she wants to go but has social anxiety about how her actions affect others. This is a real thing! Try actually listening to what the OP is saying!

MrsSkylerWhite · 30/10/2021 13:02

When did not wanting to pass a rotten cold into others stop being consideration and start being “social anxiety”?

teatime9999 · 30/10/2021 13:14

Our family's covid was literally just a stuffy nose. Whoever my husband was exposed to at a nightclub (fucking stupid of him) caused my kids to miss 3 weeks of school as the adults caught it, and then the kids did. It was fucking miserable. Be 100% sure it isn't covid, or you're ruining lives through self-isolation.

teatime9999 · 30/10/2021 13:19

@Crinkle77 This. My fully-vaxxed husband was feeling ill for a full day, and his LFT at the end of the day showed a VERY faint line. It was bright red the next day, but even so, he had already spread it to me (not that I or my kids could have avoided it anyway with him in my house).

DarceyDashwood · 30/10/2021 13:28

@MrsSkylerWhite that’s a bit flippant. there’s a specific form of social anxiety which relates to worrying disproportionately about how your actions can impact on other people. I have a friend who suffers badly from it. I’m not saying the OP necessarily has this to an extreme degree but she has explained earlier how this is something she worries about/has to deal with.

CharlotteRose90 · 30/10/2021 16:47

Sorry but I think you’d be extremely selfish going out with the start of the cold that’s going round. You will infect everyone that’s going tonight. Stay at home and go celebrate another time.

BlueBellsArePretty · 30/10/2021 17:23

Get some coldzyme from boots put your hair up and put a little tea tree around your hairline.

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