Friends who want to go nightclubbing/bar hopping

[Dobermansdinner]

I did the whole clubbing/bar hopping thing in my 20s and some of my 30s - I’m now so bored of the scene and feel like that ship sailed a long time ago.

I would rather meet for a coffee in Costa and/or go shopping; or have a cuppa/bottle of wine at the house and/or go out for a meal. In other words, I’m not interested in shouting over music to make myself heard and drinking my drink at the speed of light so we can move on to the next pub. Been there, done that.
I’m mid forties and just feel too old for it but also feel as though I’m boring at the same time, as some of my friends think the opposite to me. I inwardly groan when someone organises one of these nights out and invites me cause I feel bad if I keep declining. But at the same time I can’t really see the point as you’re not enjoying each other’s company as you can’t really hear each other!

Anyone else?

Embarrassed. Ouch. Way to kick someone who is just enjoying their life. That sounds so bitter.

Maybe enjoy your tea at costa instead. Extra lemon

What I have discovered over the years is that although I don't like large gatherings, and I don't want to go clubbing, I LOVE going to live rock gigs in huge crowds, even more so if I go on my own and don't know anyone. I love getting sucked into a crowd and dancing away where nobody knows me. Well, in pre covid times obviously.

Still go clubbing in my late 30s because there's nothing like hearing amazing music really, really loud with a crowd of like-minded people. Don't intend to stop.

Good for you. Me too! Absolutely love going to gigs and clubs and don't think it's fair that just because of age this is somehow looked down on. Don't get me wrong I don't have the energy for every week but I really enjoy the buzz every couple of months.

Don't mind an occasional pub crawl once or twice a year, but much prefer a meal and a good chin wag.

Do they come when you organise the types of night out you prefer?

Gigs are life. Have really missed them in the last 18 months. The smaller and sweatier the venue the better.

Still love a mad night out. Each to their own. Once a clubber, always a clubber. Draw the line at snogging wee boys, mind you....😂😂😂😂

I get why people don't want to do it, but not why they sneer at those who do

Agree.
Like it, crack on.
Hate it, don't do it.

But don't sneer or 'get embarrassed' for those who do like it. That just seems insular, ageist and narrow minded, it's not a good look.

I get why people don't want to do it, but not why they sneer at those who do

Agree. Clubs are better without people standing in the sidelines judging everyone having a nice time.

Old enough to no longer enjoy a night out, but not old enough to accept other people like different things. Looks like there’s still time to grow up yet OP.

You can't talk in clubs? Seriously, I have some of the best conversations with my friends in clubs - two or three people in a cluster can hear each other perfectly, and you're completely insulated from anyone else hearing by the music. Add it being late and dark, a bit of alcohol, and a great atmosphere...you talk about stuff that doesn't come up in Costa. Love a good club chat.

I’m 39 and sat at home in my tracky bottoms. I miss those nights of going out and dancing the night away. I wouldn’t want to do it every week now but every once in a while would be fun!

Roominmyhouse yep Friday night buzz here too

This thread is making me want to plan a night out dancing!

@WTF475878237NC me too! I’d love a good old fashioned drunken dancing night out! Got a bottomless brunch next week, maybe I can find somewhere for dancing after!

@LadyTiredWinterBottom2 but we’re all different and perfectly entitled to enjoy what makes us happy. I think it’s a bit unnecessary to feel embarrassed for someone who still enjoys nightclubs in their forties; I would if I had the chance! Whilst life of course moves on, some people love to dance and have a drink. I still love dance music, why wouldn’t I? I’m not ready for my pipe and slippers quite yet.

I stopped at 35, apart from the very very odd occasion.

To be honest, I thought stopping at 35 was a bit late.

In theory I always think I would love it, in practice I’d probably get a headache, get tired, annoyed with shouting at people. I still go clubbing in my head though.

I think it might be ok if you are into a specific music scene (realistically must 40 something's aren't into a music scene) or going to a gig.

Yeah l get it @shreddies19 l guess it's in the context of other cringey behaviour in this particular case- generally immature and emotionally unintelligent rather than just enjoying a boogie ifyswim

@Sniv

You can't talk in clubs? Seriously, I have some of the best conversations with my friends in clubs - two or three people in a cluster can hear each other perfectly, and you're completely insulated from anyone else hearing by the music. Add it being late and dark, a bit of alcohol, and a great atmosphere...you talk about stuff that doesn't come up in Costa. Love a good club chat.

Especially in the smoking area (I've never even been a smoker).

And at the after-parties. Which I also haven't quite given up.

@tttigress

I think it might be ok if you are into a specific music scene (realistically must 40 something's aren't into a music scene) or going to a gig.

Actually, I've found that most people into specific music scenes are passionate enough about them that they're in the scene for life.

And if the love for the music is there no one cares how old or young you are.

@LadyTiredWinterBottom2

I don't get invited clubbing.

If l did l would decline.

Each to their own but l worked with someone who went to to same clubs as 20 somethings (also mid 40s) and l can't help but feel embarrassed for her. Lives should move forward, no?

Embarrassed for someone who's going out and enjoying herself? Why?

Oh yes, I partied long enough and hard enough when I was younger (and a little older) so I am don't for now.

We still go to listen to live music so we can have a dance, but packed nightclubs are seriously my idea of hell now. Some of my friends had their kids earlier, so regularly clubbing was not happening then, so they are doing it now.

Whatever works for one is great, but I'm at the same stage as you OP.

YANBU for not enjoying it. Suggest something else!

Nothing wrong with it, though - PPs being sneery are weird, there's no intellectual or moral upper hand because you don't like being in a club but you do like a glass of wine in your house.

I love dancing. I wish someone would invent a club where the dancing starts earlier than 11, it’s not filled with arseholes spilling drink down your back, the toilets aren’t minging and it’s not filled with 18 year old freshers. Actually, there used to be something called the Feminist Disco which sounded like that - wonder if it’s back up and running?

@TooExtraImmatureCheddar

I love dancing. I wish someone would invent a club where the dancing starts earlier than 11, it’s not filled with arseholes spilling drink down your back, the toilets aren’t minging and it’s not filled with 18 year old freshers. Actually, there used to be something called the Feminist Disco which sounded like that - wonder if it’s back up and running?

They should do afternoons, like a tea dance. In a few years there'll be a real gap in the market for the elderly clubbing generation. A nice cup of tea and a donk on it!

Every time I go to a gig (well, went I suppose, haven't been back yet) I used to wish they did afternoon ones! I can't be doing with standing around in the rain in a football stadium or a sticky floored club for 3 hours waiting for a band to decide to start! They should at least have giant cushions and bean bags to sit on while you wait.