MIL has been married to a man let's call him Fred for about 30 yrs, DH is almost 50 so he's been a big part of his life and we have been married 15 yrs together for 19. We have all been close and spent lots of time together, we have 4 DC and Fred is their grandad. Our youngest is 18 months, oldest DD is 20 and at university.
Sadly Fred died very suddenly last week, MIL is devastated of course. Fred has 2 grown up daughter and grandchildren on his side. His grandad let's call her Rosie was pregnant at the same time as me with our youngest DS, he was born 3 weeks before DS and at 3 weeks old he died of meningitis.
Here comes the AIBU, our youngest DS is very very clingy and we have no one other then DD1 who he will stay with, he goes to nursery 1 day a week when I work and it's been a challenge getting him to settle.
I had said to MIL that If DD1 couldn't have DS then I would have to sit out the funeral service but bring DS to the wake which is in a pub which she was happy with.
I had a call from SIL yesterday, DH sister saying that MIL had fallen out with Fred's daughter because she has said she doesn't want DS at the wake as Rosie doesn't want to see him. Of course I feel sad about not being able to go and support DH at the wake however I would never ever want to make Rosie feel awful, I can't imagine how I would feel in her position.
Now DH, SIL MiL and also my sisters think it's unfair to ask me not to go, that how I feel about not being able to go should be considered and that DH would like my support.
So is it me being too accommodating which I tend to do and they are being unreasonable or aibu ?