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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Near miss or am I being silly?

34 replies

penguinparty00 · 29/10/2021 04:36

Came out of Morrisons last night at about 9.30 the store was dead they had turned the lights in store to the low lightning to let everyone know it was closing, it was so dark and miserable with rain. Apart from a really drunk guy in Morrisons there was no one around. Walking back to the car which is parked about 4/5 rows away from the store, I was carrying (juggling trying not to drop) about 10 things because as per I forgot the bloody bag! Got to the car plonked myself down and threw everything onto the passengers seat, as I look up a man on a bike is driving so slow next to my window and is slow enough for us to look at each other straight in the face, something about this really freaked me out because instinctively I put the door lock on and quickly put keys in ignition to drive, he disappeared off, so I thought, so I quickly started to reverse to drive away and the parking sensors were going mad I looked in the mirror and the guy on the bike had rode around the back of the car and was coming up the passengers side he was so close he would of been touching the car with his arms so I quickly reversed he was practically at the passengers door and I reversed back my side mirror would probably of been touching him at this point, he then rode to the front of the car looked at me again and rode off as he did he put something in his pocket, I was shaking and for some reason this really but the shitters up me and I don't know why. There was absolutely and honestly no logical reason he would go behind or round the car because there was no where else to go. I left the store really freaked and it keeps playing on my mind as to what reasons he would possibly be doing that and all I can think is wanting to steal purse/ something bad! As for the putting something in his pocket it could of been really innocent like a phone but then my unlogical scared mind was thinking was it something more. I don't really know why I'm posting apart from it's on my mind and I can't shake the bad feeling.

OP posts:

FindingMeno · 29/10/2021 04:45

I would have been scared too.
We should learn to trust our instincts and if you felt there was something off there probably was.
Don't dismiss yourself as being silly

Mjjbgfessrgb · 29/10/2021 04:47

This would scare me too. Report it to the store in the morning and maybe they can check CCTV.
Now however it is still night so have a hot drink and try to sleep. You're safe at home and all of the doors are locked.

Betteb · 29/10/2021 04:48

That would have freaked me out as well, definitely not being silly. Well done for reacting quickly and locking the door.

Aphrodite31 · 29/10/2021 04:49

It is scary. He may have had something to threaten you with. You must call the store tomorrow to report and for them to check cctv.

So glad you're ok. Personally I'd avoid Morrison's in the dark and rain now :(

Claphands · 29/10/2021 04:50

He was about to rob you or snatch your bag but your instincts were right and you reacted quickly.

MilkywayMonarch22 · 29/10/2021 04:52

This would freak me out too, and feels sinister.
I was taught (sadly) to lock the doors as soon as I get in the car every single time no matter where or when, and will be teaching my DC the same (sadly!)

Bottleofstout · 29/10/2021 05:15

That sounds awful op. If you want to follow it up, maybe contact the person responsible for security at the store and see if they have security cameras in the car park (most do). Do it quickly before the footage gets wiped.

Maybe it was someone looking to score who had had success mugging lone shoppers there at closing time before.

Or maybe it was something more sinister.

It would be good to report it though so at least they are aware.

If the store doesn't seem bothered, maybe local police?

FlorenceNightshade · 29/10/2021 05:30

@penguinparty00 hugs to you!
I had something happen to me a bit like that and I’ve always wondered if I was overthinking it or if I avoided something nasty!
I was getting on the bus and this guy was so close behind me he was practically pressed up against me! I had my purse open and I had quite a few bank notes as was going to hairdresser and they didn’t have a card machine at the time. I just got the feeling he had seen the cash and would have grabbed it if someone hadn’t joined the bus queue behind him.
So we get on and I sit in my usual spot in the middle, next to the emergency exit door and in the drivers line of sight (taught this as a child!) and the bus usually empties by a certain stop but I notice this guy is still on. I’m genuinely not sure where the idea for this came from but I waited until the last possible second to ring the bell for my stop and wouldn’t you know he gets up and hurried forward too. The bus stops and I turn to him and say “oops I pressed to early let me get out of your way” and he had no real choice but to get off. I got off at the next stop and quickly took the most public route to the salon and I did see him at a distance near where I would normally have walked so practically ran the rest of the way.
Got to the salon all flustered and when I told the girls what happened I felt so stupid! Like it could have been a coincidence and I was panicking for nothing but they were so sweet and sadly they all had a story to tell too.
Basically I think we pick up on much more than we realise and should trust our instincts always!

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 29/10/2021 05:31

Well done for trusting your instinct and acting on it. I would report it to the police. He was up to something and trying to scare you.

Wooky8 · 29/10/2021 05:47

Sounds like he was maybe going to try your passenger door for your handbag. Happens often. Always trust your instincts. Don't be afraid to feel/look silly.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 29/10/2021 05:48

Really weird and sinister.
Trust your instinctswith these things.
I would report to the police as well.

TrueRefuge · 29/10/2021 05:49

That's sounds really scary but sounds like you thought quickly on your feet - well done. Definitely contact the store and ask them to check CCTV, they might have past or future incidents and your experience could be really helpful.

Onlinedilema · 29/10/2021 05:53

You were right to be afraid op, always trust your gut.
I too would report to the shop and maybe inform the local police as they may have had other reports.

Seasonschange · 29/10/2021 06:07

[quote FlorenceNightshade]@penguinparty00 hugs to you!
I had something happen to me a bit like that and I’ve always wondered if I was overthinking it or if I avoided something nasty!
I was getting on the bus and this guy was so close behind me he was practically pressed up against me! I had my purse open and I had quite a few bank notes as was going to hairdresser and they didn’t have a card machine at the time. I just got the feeling he had seen the cash and would have grabbed it if someone hadn’t joined the bus queue behind him.
So we get on and I sit in my usual spot in the middle, next to the emergency exit door and in the drivers line of sight (taught this as a child!) and the bus usually empties by a certain stop but I notice this guy is still on. I’m genuinely not sure where the idea for this came from but I waited until the last possible second to ring the bell for my stop and wouldn’t you know he gets up and hurried forward too. The bus stops and I turn to him and say “oops I pressed to early let me get out of your way” and he had no real choice but to get off. I got off at the next stop and quickly took the most public route to the salon and I did see him at a distance near where I would normally have walked so practically ran the rest of the way.
Got to the salon all flustered and when I told the girls what happened I felt so stupid! Like it could have been a coincidence and I was panicking for nothing but they were so sweet and sadly they all had a story to tell too.
Basically I think we pick up on much more than we realise and should trust our instincts always![/quote]
I think you did really well to come up with the fake stop thing!

FlorenceNightshade · 29/10/2021 06:23

@Seasonschange I honestly wasn’t planning on doing it, I remember thinking “fuuuuuck what do I do?!” and then the next thing I know I’m hearing myself say it! Definitely instinct!
It’s just so horrible that practically every woman I’ve shared this with has their own story to tell. And mine happened in broad daylight

ElftonWednesday · 29/10/2021 06:29

He's lucky you didn't reverse into him when he rode round the back after you started manoeuvring the car! What a dick.

asteroommatus · 29/10/2021 07:05

I would report to the shop and maybe even the police.

I had similar in our nearest asda at about 6.30am. It was dark and man was stepping out in front of cars coming in, then yelling at them. He stepped out in front of mine (I was driving at a crawl as I had seen him do it) just stood in front of my car and stated at me. I out the car in reverse and drove round him.

I parked close to the door and watched the man so I knew where he was, he was staring at my car walking towards the store. When he saw I was watching he walked in the store. I gave it a minute and went in. He was using the freephone they have to call taxis, but wasn't talking to anyone. I went to the first member of staff I saw and reported it.

She called security and the police. The police arrived and arrested him as they were looking for him anyway. I think for something else. He had been banned for intimidating staff and customers. She said he turns up every so often and usually tries to steal things off people as they leave or just hangs around trying to scare people.

Not long after that we were sent to work from home, so I haven't been at that time.

I have no idea if the man you encountered just wanted to intimidate you or was hoping to steal something. But it's foul behaviour and the store need to be aware their customers are potentially unsafe in the car park.

purplesequins · 29/10/2021 07:14

not silly at all. sounds like an opportunistic smash and grab type of thing.

he probably had a spray can of some sort in his hand.

you did the right thing locking the car doors.

I would consider going to the police.

Original poster

penguinparty00 · 29/10/2021 07:48

[quote FlorenceNightshade]@penguinparty00 hugs to you!
I had something happen to me a bit like that and I’ve always wondered if I was overthinking it or if I avoided something nasty!
I was getting on the bus and this guy was so close behind me he was practically pressed up against me! I had my purse open and I had quite a few bank notes as was going to hairdresser and they didn’t have a card machine at the time. I just got the feeling he had seen the cash and would have grabbed it if someone hadn’t joined the bus queue behind him.
So we get on and I sit in my usual spot in the middle, next to the emergency exit door and in the drivers line of sight (taught this as a child!) and the bus usually empties by a certain stop but I notice this guy is still on. I’m genuinely not sure where the idea for this came from but I waited until the last possible second to ring the bell for my stop and wouldn’t you know he gets up and hurried forward too. The bus stops and I turn to him and say “oops I pressed to early let me get out of your way” and he had no real choice but to get off. I got off at the next stop and quickly took the most public route to the salon and I did see him at a distance near where I would normally have walked so practically ran the rest of the way.
Got to the salon all flustered and when I told the girls what happened I felt so stupid! Like it could have been a coincidence and I was panicking for nothing but they were so sweet and sadly they all had a story to tell too.
Basically I think we pick up on much more than we realise and should trust our instincts always![/quote]
Thank you everyone for being so kind I honestly felt so silly when I got home. I feel so much better now after everyone's kind words I feel kind of relieved knowing it wasn't just me overthinking it. I will go to Morrisons this morning and mention it, I think that in itself will make me feel much better about it.

@FlorenceNightshade you were so clever to think on your feet there, I think the what ifs bother me the most and play on my mind . Xx

OP posts:

FlorenceNightshade · 29/10/2021 07:58

@penguinparty00 yeah what ifs are almost more upsetting aren’t they!? I hope Morrisons take you seriously, with the clocks going back we’ll soon all be doing more and more stuff in the dark and need to look out for each other!

snackess · 29/10/2021 20:06

I would have been frightened too. I'd let the store know.

Original poster

penguinparty00 · 29/10/2021 20:17

Just an update, I spoke to security at Morrisons and they went to look at the camera but then the manager said they couldn't look without permission from head office / the police ( they were really helpful and explained why) and they did say to ring the police because the car park is renowned for being a little dodgy apparently! so I rang the non emergency number and the lovely lady has said they are going to look into it and will let me know. I feel better just getting it off my chest and have started to try and lock the door as soon as I get in the car as someone on here mentioned!

OP posts:

iwishiwasafish · 29/10/2021 20:23

I might be reading it wrong, but it sounds like you nearly reversed into him because you didn’t check your mirrors, then reversed close enough to nearly hit him with the wing mirror? He then went to the front of the car and you saw him put something in his pocket.

I realise I’m in the minority here, and I do believe you should trust your instincts, but I think there is a chance he was at the front of the car to photograph your number plate to report you for dangerous driving. (Sorry)

roadwarrior · 29/10/2021 21:16

I don't think that's what happened @iwishiwasafish. He rode past her window and made eye contact with her before going behind her car. It definitely sounds weird. Not normal by any means.

Original poster

penguinparty00 · 29/10/2021 21:59

@iwishiwasafish

Understand what you are saying and it's good to get a different perspective there was no where he could of been going that way, and why would you ride so close behind the only car that the parking sensor is flatlining then come up to the passenger side, hoping the police will be able to shed some light and I'm content to be told I was driving reckless if they deem that this situation wasn't it any way strange which I really am highly doubtful at this point! I guess I would rather be cautious and follow my gut than be a statistic, its silly to be that close when there is absolutely no need and there were no other cars or people around, some people get a kick out of scaring other people, some people are chancers and some people are strategic I guess if it didn't feel right ..It probably wasn't.

OP posts:

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