To ask how can I have more ‘presence’?

[Invisible12345]

How do you have ‘presence’ that makes you get taken seriously at work?

I am a woman, average in stature, looks, middle aged, dress well

Often when I go to meetings, mostly with men, even though I am the decision maker and the one they need to ‘impress’ (not ego, it’s my role) they defer to male colleagues.

This may be through things like eye contact, aiming all of their questions and answers to them and not to me. It’s a small pond industry so I can’t pull them up rudely or cast them off, I need to collaborate

How do I assert myself in a friendly way?

How do I act in future meetings after this has already happened?

The other thing to remember that despite all the advice on what it takes to be a leader there are actually lots of different styles that will work and it is OK to be yourself and manage in a style that suits you. It is fine to be scruffy in some professions (as a scientist I know women in my profession who wear heels and makeup tend to be dismissed as frivolous), just as it is fine to be a bit scatterbrained if you are super intelligent and clearly know your stuff, and I worked with one person with a stutter who turned it to their advantage so everyone had to listen to them - the lesson there is to use your natural traits in a way that states your power. So read the advice but feel free to take the advice that suits and reject the recommendations that will be unnatural for you. If you like to manage in a collaborative way that's fine, you don't need to be a dick all the time to be the boss, what people thinks is required of a 'leader' is very different from the characteristics of the best manager they ever had.

I once went on a RADA leadership course called something like “The voice of influence” and it was all about presence and leadership - it was fairly cringe at times but I use elements of it in my leadership style now.

@Chronicallymothering you can't say that and then not give details!! What are the bits you found useful please?

I have no idea about colours, I just wear what I feel comfortable in but all the men that report to me point out I'm in charge well before I ever need to. I like a collaborative approach but I'm not above reminding them I sign off payroll!

I've worked in loads of Corporates: in marketing, IT, design , Investment banking etc. Usually as EA to the biggest cheese . You really do need to spell it out at the start. Introduce yourself , including your job title & direct and lead the conversation or the meeting. It's what all my male bosses did. It clearly marks your status & makes clear the chain of command from the start, so theres no room for confusion or reason to ignore you.

@Yummypumpkin it was about how to use your voice to project messaging, authoritativeness and how to use your body to project confidence. It was 3 days of voice coaching, work on embodied leadership and other things. I think a lot of it was awareness of what you could do to improve