To ask how parents deal with virus hell?

[Virushell]

I'm at my wit's end with viruses. It is all so much worse this year!

My toddler had a virus that lasted about 2 weeks causing a bad cough and multiple night wakings. Once he got better my newborn got bronchiolitis which caused about 2 weeks of sleepless nights and we're still not over it. I've spent the last three hours up with him having coughing fits and vomiting. He's settling now but I can hear my toddler coughing and whimpering so he'll probably be calling me in a minute.

He had the start of a rash earlier and his nursery is rife with hand foot mouth so I guess that's next.

How the hell do parents deal with this? Looking after poorly children is bad enough but when each virus brings a week or two of disturbed ( at best, but mostly non existent) sleep, it's a nightmare. On top of normal exhaustion from having a newborn. I only have two children and it feels impossible, how do people manage with 3 or 4 or More? Am I just weak?

Hey OP.
We're in the same boat. Our toddler has caught every virus under the sun in the past few months 😩 now my 2 week old newborn started sneezing and coughing 😐
I've started to convince myself that his nursery is the number 1 most infected place in the country 😂

It's luck OP.

Mine hardly got ill at all.

My best friends kids got everything going.

Don't imagine everyone you know is in the same boat and managing better- that's not how it is!

Yep this is why I’m up. It’s worse this year because of the effects of social distancing. I have four children but fortunately only 3 are 🤧 . really thought it was covid this time but just got the negative results.

My 17 month son has been ill 4 times since July, since starting at the childminder. So many people are unwell at the moment. He definitely catches every illness going!

Do you have a partner at home?

Me and DH tend to work together to get things covered rather than his/ my responsibilities.

With a newborn obv is work tiring and toddler on top is hard.

So we both got stuck in.

It's probably because we've all been locked away for 18 months too. No immunity to anything.

It’s hard work op - remember it well. All part of kids growing up though, I used to console myself by thinking DS would have the constitution of an ox by the time he was 12.

If it’s any consolation he seemed to have a lot less bugs by the time he’d started school (probably cos he’d had them all by then )

Yes I'm sure the last year is to blame as my toddler was never an ill child, he would never wake at night when ill and would bounce back really quickly. This year he catches everything and can't seem to be able to fight them off. It makes him miserable too and I miss my happy child.

I have a partner but as he works and i breastfeed I mostly deal with baby on my own which was just about manageable until the bronchiolitis. He deals with our toddler when required.

They are both asleep now and I'm wide awake. I feel like to survive you need to be able to switch off and sleep on demand which i can't do either..

I could have written this word for word tonight. No advice as I’m barely coping - but with you in solidarity. If someone mentions bloody saline drops one more time…they do nothing 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yep also why I'm up. 12month old up for hours every night at the mo with cough etc. Has only manages 2 days in nursery this month, constantly sick. My work love me!!

I can only offer sympathy. My two grandsons are exactly the same. Mum and Dad at their wits end.
And no, you are not weak!

I empathise op I’m currently awake trying to settle a coughing 7 month old back up sleep after she projectile vomited over me. I can hear the toddler upstairs coughing too. I’m just counting down the minutes until 6 when I’ll be clocking off night duty and handing over to DH for a few hours so I can sleep!

Well that was short lived, baby is up again, literally not staying down for more than 20 minutes at a time.

@newmummyinlockdown God yes! Mother in law "why don't you clear his nose using saline drops, it would help him" - cheers for that, even the doctor in hospital couldn't bloody clear his nose the mucus is so thick it clogged up the bloody machine.

Can't believe how many of you are in the same situation, I'm so sorry!

So sorry OP, it’s actual hell. I have a 2.5 year old and 13 month old and both have basically been ill since the beginning of September. Just one virus after the next and feel like I haven’t slept at all in months! Neither has ever been sick before now.

Definitely agree that this year is bad. GP recommend the flu vaccine for both so think I’ll be booking that when they’re well enough.

We're still in hospital with the newborn - dreading going home and dealing with it ourselves for the next few weeks. The pead staff are saying they're inundated with tiny bronch babies atm, and while I'm here I keep getting updates from the nursery WhatsApp for put toddler, talking about the cold, fevers, hand foot & mouth and D&V. Thankfully DH still on paternity leave so can look after toddler whilst I'm stay in hospital.

So sorry @fluffmagner I hope your LO is better soon. I had no idea bronchiolitis was so horrible. I think we got lucky with DS as he pulled through very well and even that was hell enough. Then they breezily tell you the cough will just last a few weeks when you feel like you can't possibly deal with one more sleepless night.

Don't even know what's happening with my baby he's so restless and frantic, potentially through a leap/growth spurt on top of it all. Eats like a maniac then coughs and throws it all up over me then starts again.

I don't think I can do it I just want to cry. Feel so dizzy and nauseous through sleep deprivation. Not slept since midnight, it's worse than ever. No help in the day, DH will be at work and baby only sleeps on me.

Yep. My baby has been ill for the last few nights and up every 30 seconds it feels like. I've finally given up and he's asleep on my chest while I sit in the living room. I was so tired yesterday that my heart hurt all morning. Another night of this and I'd have to take the following day off work due to sheer exhaustion. Thankfully, I don't work on Fridays.

PP is right, you've just been unlucky. Mine have had a few colds but nothing too severe. The older one doesn't wake much in the night even when she's ill. Some kids just seem to be more susceptible or get things worse than others.

How often small children and babies are ill (and therefore how often they make you ill too) was a massive shock to me when DS was little. It’s one of the things that nobody ever tells you when you’re pregnant. It was definitely bad every autumn and winter until DS was 5 or so and then reduced a bit. I remember a particularly bad few months when he was 3. It felt endless. I remember crying on the floor feeling as though I was having a complete breakdown because I was so sleep deprived and worn down with months of contestant illness (him, me and DH). I completely sympathise with you - it felt awful and it’s not a fun phase at all.

Same here, OP! Been up since 1.45am, toddler DS went back to sleep about 30 mins ago but I'm struggling to drift off. I've got his cold now too, having recovered literally 5 days ago from the previous cold he brought home from nursery. I'm EXHAUSTED. I bet he is too but at least he's being cuddled and carried and looked after 😭 oh and this cold is back to back with V&D, do we get extra points for that? 😅

I'm with you ! My son is 15 months old and I feel like my life is just one big cold 😩 Husband and I were just saying yesterday how we used to never get ill and now we feel like we are never healthy

I really recommend the calpol plugs the refills are not cheap but putting one in every night helps! I even brought myself one 😂😂

Same in our household, 3 year old and 4 month old have been full of it since the start of the month, also the first time my toddler has been unwell so I had the shock of discovering just how extra gross children are when they are sick, the amount of tissues, antibacterial wipes and calpol we've gone through is ridiculous.

You are not weak, and this is normal. I remember with our now 5 year old she was I'll every month from 10 months starting nursery. I remember crying all night from sleep deprivation then crying some more when one of my friends ( whose child wasn't at nursery) said OH WE ALL KEEP SAYING WE CANT BELIEVE SHES ILL AGAIN...WHAT ARE YOU DOING WRONG. Answer, nothing, it's luck and life. Good luck it will get easier xx

That’s so tough 🙁 I hope everyone gets better soon.

Luck definitely plays a part. I’ve got a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old and neither of them have been ill. Toddler goes to nursery 4 days a week.

Mine caught everything at nursery. And often passed it onto me. Hand foot and mouth as an adult is unpleasant! Trying to juggle work and sick children is tough. They're 7 and 4 now and it does get easier. I guess they have stronger immune systems after all that exposure. I hope your DC feel better soon. Be kind to yourself. You're tired, stressed and running on empty.