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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People who stand really close to you

53 replies

Whathesaid · 27/10/2021 22:05

Does it make you uncomfortable?

I don’t mean due to covid etc, although that probably doesn’t help. But, covid aside, those people who stand really close to you when talking, have you met them? Does it bother you or am I the weirdo here?!

OP posts:
BobMortimersPetOwl · 27/10/2021 22:06

I can't bear people being in my personal space. Nothing to do with covid!

SisforSoppy · 27/10/2021 22:10

I really upset/offended a police officer last week who was standing so close our firearms were touching. I asked her to step out if my personal space….she thought I was joking, so I asked again and she moved….but clearly wasn’t used to being askedto move by a lowly member of the public.

SisforSoppy · 27/10/2021 22:11

Forearms, not firearms😂

Spongeboob · 27/10/2021 22:12

Yup. No need to be right up in someone's business. Even pre covid this pissed me off.

PheasantsNest · 27/10/2021 22:12

I was in a queue at the post office last week. The woman behind was so close O could feel her breathing on me. I took one step back and stepped on her foot. She soon moved back. There's no need to be that close.

BigSigh2021 · 27/10/2021 22:13

One good thing about Covid is that the person behind you in a queue doesn’t stand too close anymore. There used to be some people that stood too close, and when you did an obvious step forwards whilst looking pointedly at them, they too took a step so that they could still be as close. Grrrrrrrr!

Mrsbclinton · 27/10/2021 22:13

Yes, even pre covid it would really unnerve me when people would come up really close. Ive no problem asking people to give me some space since social distancing became a thing.

Original poster
Whathesaid · 27/10/2021 22:14

I hate it! I don’t get it. It happened tonight with one of dps friends, such a lovely, calm guy, family were all there. He just sort of stands right in front of you/a bit to the side, but really close 😬I feel almost trapped, such a strange thing to do, makes me so uncomfortable.
I used to have a boss who’d do the same, so close I could smell her breath, I used to casually and subtly move to the side a bit, but then she’d step closer 🙈🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
NiceGerbil · 27/10/2021 22:15

I know what you mean OP!

Just wondering though. A colleague who came on secondment from USA said that what was weird was that we had a smaller normal personal space here than she was used to.

I wonder if it could vary even by where you live... London Vs middle of countryside type thing. To do with.. space iyswim. And noise? Being able to hear.

Dunno just thinking out loud!

Yes some people do stand too close when chatting. Not noticed it that often don't think though.

NiceGerbil · 27/10/2021 22:16

BigSigh cuddly close queues only vanished briefly here. Back to close again for ages.

MrsSkylerWhite · 27/10/2021 22:16

Yes, hate it. Try to move away and they lean in. Awful,

Notlostjustexploring · 27/10/2021 22:18

I hate people standing too close to me. Hate everything else about covid, but I was a big fan of the 2m rule as it was roughly my preferred personal space.

Someone was doing it to me in a queue last week. Hate it.

Original poster
Whathesaid · 27/10/2021 22:18

@NiceGerbil Yes, it’s not happened to me lots of times, but when it does, it’s noticeable!
In my head I was screaming ‘Get out of the way!’ tonight, so weird 🤣

OP posts:
Motherland101 · 27/10/2021 22:19

@SisforSoppy

Forearms, not firearms😂
Gee, that did make me wonder... Gun to gun, shoulder to shoulder 😂
Original poster
Whathesaid · 27/10/2021 22:19

I wonder what’s wrong with them? Do they just have no concept of personal space?
If you’re a stand too close person, please tell us why!

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 27/10/2021 22:21

Never really noticed in all.honesty.

NiceGerbil · 27/10/2021 22:22

OP what happens if you take a good step back?

IME I think it's-
Creepy men
Women you know mildly and don't like who like to do gossipy stage whisper
Hearing probs
Just don't realise they're doing it no reason just how they are

ddl1 · 27/10/2021 22:22

I'm not that bothered just by them standing close to me while talking (in non-Covid times). But I hate it when people stand over me watching while I'm doing something, especially in the kitchen. At best it's very distracting; at worst, I feel like I'm flunking an exam.

DowntonCrabby · 27/10/2021 22:23

It’s weird, I’d give them the benefit of the doubt and just move away a bit but would then be on a heightened state of awareness of them.

My sis feels like she does this sometimes with her dyspraxia, she doesn’t have great spacial awareness so I think it more often than not isn’t an intentional/intimidation thing.

Now have Sting in my head too Grin

ThirdElephant · 27/10/2021 22:24

This is the plot of an episode of Bluey, when one of her friends is what she called 'a space invader' and was making everyone uncomfortable.

Pretty sure it's a thing.

TotallySuper · 27/10/2021 22:25

@PheasantsNest

I was in a queue at the post office last week. The woman behind was so close O could feel her breathing on me. I took one step back and stepped on her foot. She soon moved back. There's no need to be that close.
Thats what I do. If they're behind you step back a bit. If they make an "oof" noise when you bash into them/step on their foot say "oh I didn't expect anyone to be so close to me" makes them feel embarrassed every time. Such a weird thing for people to do I don't understand it at all! Usually it's driven by impatience and entitlement I've found.
Original poster
Whathesaid · 27/10/2021 22:25

@NiceGerbil With my old boss, she’d move closer to me 😬she was definitely in the gossipy camp though.

Dps friend isn’t the creepy type at all and no hearing problems, not sure why he does it

OP posts:
Henrysmycat · 27/10/2021 22:26

I find that people from overcrowded countries/places stand very close to you. It took me forever to get used to people invading my personal space in China’s major cities and all over India while in Texas, you needed a megaphone as they standing so far from you.

Original poster
Whathesaid · 27/10/2021 22:27

@ThirdElephant Space invader, that’s definitely a good word for it. Bluey is great.

OP posts:
FictionalCharacter · 27/10/2021 22:27

Some people do it as an intimidation tactic. Not all I’m sure. But some do it as a form of bullying.

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