To wonder if people are entitled or just not self aware?

[itsgettingwierd]

I often wonder if people are just very self absorbed and not self aware or if it's a genuine sense of entitlement they style out beautifully?!

For example today I went to a hospital appointment. I waited for lift as after an internal scan and biopsy I just didn't fancy the 4 flights of stairs!

I waited for lift. 3 lifts. Just me waiting.

First 2 opened but were full and heading up. I wanted down! Plus a huge sign asking to limit 2 people per lift due to covid.

Then next lift arrives. As it does 2 people come round the corner.

Lift says "going down" and they walked straight into it without even a glance in my direction.

I'd been waiting 3/4 minutes at this point and then had to wait another minute or so.

I would usually say something but by then they were in, I'd have had to practically chase after them (not very dignified ) and there were others in the lift and I didn't really want to come across as the pissed of woman with horrid stomach cramps I was!

So in this sort of situation are people just brazenly entitled or did they really just not even think to check their surroundings and were likely just totally unaware of my very existence?

Ps - I do slightly envy people who give no fucks to others and go about their lives as if they are the only people that matter - even though I do t think i could ever do it 🤣

If that has upset then don't use public transport in London during the rush hour.

@Ionlydomassiveones

I think there are the ones who are just born entitled dicks - you see them in the playground. But then some people were just like you OP, seething at waiting for the 3rd lift - sick of being overlooked and pushed to the back of the queue. They’ve decided that in a world of selfish people, playing nicely and waiting your turn doesn’t work. If you can’t beat them, join them.

I feel a bit like this sometimes, a couple of incidents I've spoken up and been quite forthright about it because I'm sick of being the one who does the right and polite thing and no one reciprocates and then it's me stood like a twat still having been 'nice' and not even noticed. People barging onto the bus for instance before waiting or even looking to see if someone is getting off, I used to shimmy back and wait and then get off, now I just stand in their way. And also pushing in front when spaces were limited on buses due to covid and I was trying to get to work or home again and people dressed in walking gear just piling round me (as I stood back to let others off and social distance) and getting on and oh, there's no space left so I'm late for work and it's costing me money. I took to saying "Excuse me I was first and I'm heading to work so need to be on this bus" to eye rolling and whining. I'm sick of being the bottom of the heap because I've got manners!

It’s fostered in children and they don’t understand as they get older.

Local boys school - always let me (disabled) and the three small kiddies on the bus first even if we haven’t been waiting longest, so that we get the first available seats.

Local girls school - push the little ones out of the way to get on first, don’t move down, sneer at you if you say excuse me.

The reason I say it’s fostered in to them is that I’ve seen the way the teachers react to those girls at school. If you say to the teachers, please could the girls not block the pavement as it’s hard to wheel through, they say it’s the girls right to stand where they like, what do we expect, they are children just going home etc. (They aren’t going home, they just stand in groups of about 8 on a narrow tree lined pathway) Parents of small toddlers have to walk in the road to get through. I’ve seen girls outside sweating and shouting at teachers with no real consequence. Why would they care to move out of the way for children and disabled people? It’s not shown as an example to them anywhere.

By contrast the boys school (and the local mixed where they are nice kids) has had the same teachers for 30+ years so standards and expectations of behaviour are the same.

@SaltedCaramelHC

I did once miss an entire queue of people waiting to get into a shop, though. I was during lockdown; shop sold bike stuff so was allowed open for various things. The queue was down the side, into the mall, and I approached from the other direction, big wide open door, no store person standing there to tell me to go away at that point, so I just walked in. Only when I came out did I see the queue, and I was very embarrassed. I tried to show my surprise and embarrassment, but it would have been different people by then.

Unaware, yes, but I'm not usually like that - I just made a mistake that day, wasn't properly paying attention. Not entitled, as I'd certainly have waiting in the queue if I'd realised.

Ha, I also did similar at B&Q during lockdown. I was absolutely mortified. No joke!

I once managed to miss a line of people waiting at a taxi rank. I just saw the taxi and got in. It was only when we were driving away that I noticed them. I have no idea why I didn’t see them. I offered to get out and wait in line but the driver refused. He was probably worried I’d get lynched!

I would say people are generally considerate, but sometimes someone may be preoccupied and just not notice. It’s highly likely to be be the case in a hospital environment.

Some people are just entitled, but I doubt that was the problem with the lift incident in your OP. More likely that they didn’t care about being in a lift with more than two people so they carried on as they normally would and let you make your own choice about whether you wanted to share a lift or wait for another.

I have seen people who are entitled and show no self awareness. They seem to think the rest of us will put up with their behaviour.

A few months ago some one I had been good to for years decided not to attend an event that was important to me. After this I had a major argument with them and reminded them how good I had been to them over the years. It provided to me they have no self awareness. They have realised now that I am not available to take their calls when it suits them and then listen to them complaining. Yet I was barely asked anything about my life during these calls. I never realised how draining these calls were until they stopped. Even now I have far less contact with this person.

A friend of mine got a call recently from another friend who she had not heard from in about 3 months. My friend was happy to hear from her. Within a few minutes she was asked can you mind my dogs for a week when I go abroad next Sat with my boyfriend. My friend realised quickly that she be responsible for 2 dogs in her own home for a week. So my friend said nicely that she had plans made for the following week.
The same woman gave my friend a very poor excuse about why she could not meet her when my friend had asked previously. My friend said I don't mind helping someone out but I won't be used either.

I think it starts at a young age being entitled due to how some parents bring up their kids. The same parents were bought up to be entitled also. I know adults who are just not that are not self aware and ones who choose not to be self aware unless it suits them. Then in time the same people can wonder why people can't or won't help them out or are avoiding them.

Have you ever been to some countries in Europe? Queueing is not understood. My Russian friend says that they just dont queue, its not part of their culture.

I am currently abroad on holiday. In our hotel there is one particular nationality of guests that act as though they are the only person on earth and are seemingly oblivious to others, even down to helping themselves to the belongings of others staying in the hotel and then being really put out when the other person objects. Some of these guests also just walk into others that are in their way in the restaurant or around the pool. So selfish.

@itsgettingwierd
However they were chatting quite happily about what they were having for dinner when she got home that night and she was clearly going out for a fag as they were sat on her lap.
What do you mean they were sat on her lap?

@Heya21

From your update you're making a mountain out of a mole hill. Anyone would have done that especially if they were trying to male an appointment or visit someone within visiting hours. An open lift is a lift, if someone is directly in front of others and they'll pushed past tyat would be unreasonable but as you weren't how we were they to know you were waiting for the lift?

It was a son (I assume) pushing his mum outside for a fag

I wasn't making a mountain btw.

If you read the thread properly it's just a discussion about if people are just very ballsy or genuinely unaware!

OP, I do think lots of people are totally unaware of others and think they're the centre of the world. I usually find it's people of lower intelligence that seem oblivious to others, but not always