To wonder if people are entitled or just not self aware?

[itsgettingwierd]

I often wonder if people are just very self absorbed and not self aware or if it's a genuine sense of entitlement they style out beautifully?!

For example today I went to a hospital appointment. I waited for lift as after an internal scan and biopsy I just didn't fancy the 4 flights of stairs!

I waited for lift. 3 lifts. Just me waiting.

First 2 opened but were full and heading up. I wanted down! Plus a huge sign asking to limit 2 people per lift due to covid.

Then next lift arrives. As it does 2 people come round the corner.

Lift says "going down" and they walked straight into it without even a glance in my direction.

I'd been waiting 3/4 minutes at this point and then had to wait another minute or so.

I would usually say something but by then they were in, I'd have had to practically chase after them (not very dignified ) and there were others in the lift and I didn't really want to come across as the pissed of woman with horrid stomach cramps I was!

So in this sort of situation are people just brazenly entitled or did they really just not even think to check their surroundings and were likely just totally unaware of my very existence?

Ps - I do slightly envy people who give no fucks to others and go about their lives as if they are the only people that matter - even though I do t think i could ever do it 🤣

Don't disagree.

However if they noticed me - ask?

And there was no room in the lift. 3 other people were already in there.

What surprised me was they didn't even seem to notice I existed. That's what I found strange.

That's why I wondered if people really didn't notice others or if it some kind of special skill to be able to act like you don't.

I expect there's people from both of those camps.

I was sitting in the fracture clinic waiting area once, leg bandaged to the hilt, slightly sticking out because it had to stay straight and a doctor, totally involved with his conversation with a colleague, paying zero attention to where he was going, tripped over it. I just cried. No awareness, no care.

Ouch

You win!

I was definitely feeling the pain and grumpiness of post hysteroscopy and biopsy but at least my pain was internal and no one hit the sore part!

@itsgettingwierd

Don't disagree.

However if they noticed me - ask?

And there was no room in the lift. 3 other people were already in there.

What surprised me was they didn't even seem to notice I existed. That's what I found strange.

That's why I wondered if people really didn't notice others or if it some kind of special skill to be able to act like you don't.

I expect there's people from both of those camps.

The thing is OP if they were deep in conversation they genuinely might not have noticed. They were talking, saw a door open in front of them and walked into it. Especially since there was only one person waiting and not a crowd they might have stood behind.

I might be a bit biased here because I can see myself doing this. The amount of things I’ve not noticed while In conversation… I even looked for a coffee mug I put down right under my nose - 2 seconds after taking a sip.

It’s quite flustering because I’m the gives up seats for pregnant women/children sort, I will let kids go ahead of me in a toilet queue etc and would never ever jump queue without asking. But I’m oblivious

a huge sign asking to limit 2 people per lift due to covid

A lot of ppl, including me, would ignore this request.
some ppl might not even see it, they just see available lift.

@SaltedCaramelHC

I did once miss an entire queue of people waiting to get into a shop, though. I was during lockdown; shop sold bike stuff so was allowed open for various things. The queue was down the side, into the mall, and I approached from the other direction, big wide open door, no store person standing there to tell me to go away at that point, so I just walked in. Only when I came out did I see the queue, and I was very embarrassed. I tried to show my surprise and embarrassment, but it would have been different people by then.

Unaware, yes, but I'm not usually like that - I just made a mistake that day, wasn't properly paying attention. Not entitled, as I'd certainly have waiting in the queue if I'd realised.

I almost did this too, at the supermarket right at the start of lockdown, but there was a staff member on the door to direct me to the queue - which, in my own defence, you couldn't really see from my approach direction behind trolley stands and vegetation. Then had to walk past them all to the back...

I think it’s mostly entitlement.

Today, for example, I was driving to work. Turned left into a narrow road. Situation made worse as small row of shops on the RHS with cars parked bumper to bumper.

Close to 2 school s so no parking allowed.

Suddenly, just as I turned the corner, woman in front of me stops her car (no signals/hazard lights). Effectively blocks me from moving anywhere.

Gets out her car, walks towards me to get precious child out of back door. Then proceeds to walk towards one of the schools! I honked my horn and made WTF gestures but she blatantly ignored me yet there’s no way she didn’t see/hear me.

Unbelievable.

@lljkk

a huge sign asking to limit 2 people per lift due to covid

A lot of ppl, including me, would ignore this request.
some ppl might not even see it, they just see available lift.

Don't worry I also ignored it when a lift arrived and the 3 people already in it invited me in 🤣🤣

I'm not sure anyone was following it - even the hospital staff

I had this yesterday at at the pharmacy . Queue out of the door and a man walks straight past me then stops in front of the elderly lady who was next in line.
She was so suprised she said nothing , so I did. His reply was " I need my prescription!".
I swiftly told him that funnily enough we all did & to get to the end of the queue.

I do think many people are totally oblivious. I notice everyone and am always looking around me. Others are wrapped up in their (probably far more interesting, tbf) lives and simply don’t compute their surroundings.

Dh is never rude or would queue jump, but he just doesn’t see anything. Doesn’t know the names of roads where we live, or notice no. 7’s new fence, and often we pass people and I say, “Did you see that hat?!” and, no, he wouldn’t have registered.

I don't understand how they got in and you didn't? Surely you were waiting in front of it?!

God it wasn't Charing Cross was it? Those lifts are an absolute nightmare.

The way you’re describing it is contradictory — on the one hand you say you were walking towards the lift, and that you were ‘heading towards it’, but on another you are actually standing in front of it, and then you say you would have ‘had to chase after them’ to contest who got the lift as if you were still some distance away?

Is it possible they just overtook you in the corridor and considered themselves as rightfully first in line?

I think people don’t actually notice. How old are you? Are you an “invisible” middle-aged woman? Because that is a thing. However, if you were standing right in front of the lift, I don’t really see how anyone could get in it ahead of you. If you were off to the side, or even a few steps away, maybe staring into space or looking at a poster, they might assume you didn’t want the lift.

@Heya21

I don't understand how they got in and you didn't? Surely you were waiting in front of it?!

There were 3 lifts in a row.

I was waiting outside middle one sink could go in whatever one tuned up.

I was waiting 2/3m back to allow people to come out.

They came from my right about 2m from that lift and just walked in as it arrived.

Seemingly without even noticing me.

From your update you're making a mountain out of a mole hill. Anyone would have done that especially if they were trying to male an appointment or visit someone within visiting hours. An open lift is a lift, if someone is directly in front of others and they'll pushed past tyat would be unreasonable but as you weren't how we were they to know you were waiting for the lift?

Most people wait in a place that makes it obvious they're waiting for the lift so YABU.

Brazen entitlement. Yesterday I was walking to an empty payment desk and the woman at the desk asked me to go around from the other direction. So I made to do so. At this point two women then approached pushing past my daughter who had gone ahead of me and plonked down their two basket loads of shopping that they wanted to pay for separately. I was literally holding one item. The staff member did say this lady was here I'll just .... And they said "the hell you will". I think they just about sum up the absolute best of society these days.

Follow up. I left the shop without the item.

So yeah. I don't think anyone is oblivious. Nobody cares.

Hospitals always have me on absolute edge. I am honestly always scared walking around them, so even though I am 100 per cent that person who will always let you on the train before me because its nice to be nice, I would probably stumble into a hospital lift first just because I'm so nervous lol.
Or they could have just got really bad news and weren't thinking straight.

I think even if they visually see, they don't 'see' because it's selective selfish vision. There is the odd arsehole who fully sees and doesn't care, but I think most people are well meaning but just numb.

Attention works very weirdly. They could well have just not noticed you.

www.theinvisiblegorilla.com/overview.html

I've definitely noticed recently how entitled or self absorbed people are. I've got very advanced osteoarthritis in both hips and have to walk with 2 sticks at the moment and I'm noticing more and more how people are all out for themselves. They barge into the back of me in Sainsburys because I can't move fast enough for them, I was recently trying to get out of the car in sainsburys car park and a car barged into the space next to me even though there were loads of other spaces around, and I had to actually move the car to get enough space to get out because I have to have the door wider at the moment (still waiting for a disability badge so I can't use the disabled spaces yet). If I'm in a shop and visibly struggling to walk/move, they have no patience. My hips often lock up when I'm standing so I need a minute to get moving, so it's really hard to quickly move out of someone's way, and they just won't wait.

However they were chatting quite happily about what they were having for dinner when she got home that night and she was clearly going out for a fag as they were sat on her lap.

If they were sitting on her lap does that mean she was in a wheelchair?
In which case the wheelchair user has priority for the lift.

@shouldistop

However they were chatting quite happily about what they were having for dinner when she got home that night and she was clearly going out for a fag as they were sat on her lap.

If they were sitting on her lap does that mean she was in a wheelchair?
In which case the wheelchair user has priority for the lift.

Oh, good point.