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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids in my garden

70 replies

Anonmummyoftwo · 26/10/2021 13:15

Would you let kids play in your back garden if you or your children aren’t in. Iv 2 dc 6&7 and out our back garden they have a trampoline and swing set and I don’t mind them bringing friends round just happy the bloody things getting used honestly. Their off school this week so I booked a week off work to take them out and do some Halloween stuff. My back gate is quiet high up and would need a adult to open it and I always make sure it’s closed at night or when we are out. We were out yesterday all day and when we came home as soon as we got in the door a little girl up the street knocked asking my dd to come out and play in our garden. My dd was tried and it was pissing rain so I said not today and the girl asked could she play out the back anyway. I said no and she left her mum actually messaged me asking could she go out the back and I said no and that I don’t want the gate left open and my kids don’t want to go out. She read it and didn’t write back. 10 and today the girl knocked and I said we were getting ready to go out but when we come home if it’s dry and my dc want to they can go out. Came home just now and noticed back gate open so I went out and this girl was out our back. I told her she can’t come out here when we aren’t in and she said her mum said it’s ok and her mum opened the gate. I walked the girl up the street and told her mum I really don’t want kids in the garden when I’m not home and not to open my back gate again. Her mum seriously didn’t see what was wrong and said she was ok with it so why wasn’t I. I just said don’t do it again and walked away.
Im going to put a lock on the gate from now on but aibu here would you let your kid in someone’s garden when they aren’t in or am I being a big weird. I keep things what if the child fell or something. My dc said they don’t really like playing with this girl as she’s quite bossy to them and always wants in the garden.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 26/10/2021 13:18

So the mum broke into your garden! Of course that’s never alright.

I would stop her playing there at all for now until the family realise boundaries and that it’s a private garden not a public playground

Artie30 · 26/10/2021 13:19

Wtaf! YANBU. How would anyone think it's okay to let their kid play in someone else's garden when they are out? Does the poor kid not have their own garden? Does the mother not take her child out?! I would be mortified at the parent, not the child! The mother needs to occupy the poor child, she sounds bored!

Get a bolt that can only be opened from inside and out of reach. Very cheap in hardware stores!

Monsterpumpkins · 26/10/2021 13:20

If she breaks a limb on your trampoline I bet she blames you....
Keep the little feckers out I say!!

Biancadelrioisback · 26/10/2021 13:20

Nooooo, nope, no, no, nope, nah, not a chance.

Imo someone's garden is part of their house. You wouldn't go in someone's house if they're not in so you shouldn't go into their closed off garden.
Now, that said, I have no problem if a ball was kicked over into my front garden and the kid ran in to get it and ran out again. But no way would I be okay with a kid playing in my garden without my permission.

CounsellorTroi · 26/10/2021 13:21

The entitlement of some people is beyond belief. It’s your property, people including children are only allowed on it with your permission.

irrate · 26/10/2021 13:21

Padlock the gate op.

Stupid woman what happens if her child hurts herself in your garden that she is letting her child play in! Omg she has some cheek

sunshinesupermum · 26/10/2021 13:21

Good idea to get a lock for the gate. If the girl got injured in your garden you would be liable. Her mum is a CF.

FictionalCharacter · 26/10/2021 13:21

Absolutely not and the girl’s mum is a cheeky mare, and a trespasser. We locked our gate too when the kids were young and had a trampoline, but I found out someone was coming in our garden and using the trampoline when we were on holiday. Either the person looking after our pets let them in or they climbed over the gate. It’s not on - it’s your play equipment and your garden, not a public park.

Original poster
Anonmummyoftwo · 26/10/2021 13:22

Thank god I’m not overreacting I’m putting a lock on now all I kept thinking was what if she fell or something

OP posts:
WombatStewForTea · 26/10/2021 13:23

Have you posted this before? I swear I've read this exact scenario with the high gate and the mum letting them in

SirChenjins · 26/10/2021 13:24

No - of course you don't let children into your garden when you're not in, just as you wouldn't let them into your house. The other mum is cheeky mare.

PicsInRed · 26/10/2021 13:24

No. If she gets hurt, you get sued.

Say an unequivocal no, in writing.

girlmom21 · 26/10/2021 13:24

Wow that's outrageous. What a CF!

minou123 · 26/10/2021 13:25

This is the 3rd similar thread I've read.
Which makes me wonder, how many parents think it's ok to use someone else's garden?

IIRC, on the other thread, the CF parents suddenly declared the Ops garden was actually a public park and were determined to use it.
And on the other one, the Op's son had locked the garden gate and gone out, not realising random kids were playing in the garden. The CF parents claimed their children had suffered all sorts of emotional harm.

What is going on?

samwitwicky · 26/10/2021 13:27

Lock it and lock it again and do not allow this child to return

BingBongToTheMoon · 26/10/2021 13:28

Not a chance.
Anything happens to her, it’s you that will get sued/ lose your house to the insurance or compensation,

minou123 · 26/10/2021 13:28

Oh, I've just remembered a 4th one!

The next door neighbour hoisted her child over the fence, so she could play with the Op's children's toys.
I think the CF neighbour had a "posh" garden and no children's toys, so thought nothing of letting her child loose around the Ops garden

80sMum · 26/10/2021 13:29

That's outrageously cheeky! You are definitely not being unreasonable!

I can't believe that 2% of respondents have voted that yabu! They clicked the wrong button, surely!

BingBongToTheMoon · 26/10/2021 13:29

Ok I was a bit extreme saying you’d lose your house….
But no!

WellLarDeDar · 26/10/2021 13:34

YANBU why are there so many weird people in the world!

Hogwarts4Christmas · 26/10/2021 13:35

@80sMum, that 2% are probably the CF parents 😆

CounsellorTroi · 26/10/2021 13:40

There was a thread about some people climbing into the OP’s garden and using their garden furniture while the OP was out at work. They were from a neighbouring block of flats I think.

FictionalCharacter · 26/10/2021 13:44

To those saying the CF could sue the OP if the child got hurt - yes they could, but it’s highly unlikely they’d win. OP has said no to the child and the mum, and the gate will be locked, so she’s taken steps to prevent the child using the equipment and getting hurt. It’s not a normal expectation that a person would let their child climb over a locked gate when they’ve been told to stay away. A solicitor would be unlikely to take such a case on for the CF parents in the first place.

FictionalCharacter · 26/10/2021 13:49

@minou123

This is the 3rd similar thread I've read. Which makes me wonder, how many parents think it's ok to use someone else's garden?

IIRC, on the other thread, the CF parents suddenly declared the Ops garden was actually a public park and were determined to use it.
And on the other one, the Op's son had locked the garden gate and gone out, not realising random kids were playing in the garden. The CF parents claimed their children had suffered all sorts of emotional harm.

What is going on?

Yes, there have been several on here. I was really shocked to find evidence that people had been using my garden while I was on holiday. It was more than just using the trampoline too - fruit trees and bushes were stripped of fruit and our bins were filled with other people’s rubbish. It’s incredible- some people think that as soon as your back is turned, your property is fair game.
EdinaMonsoon · 26/10/2021 13:49

I'm stunned that anyone could possibly think it's okay to just help themselves to someone else's garden and/or play equipment. What a ridiculously entitled person your neighbour is! I would be furious, especially as you already explained that it wasn't okay. If a child is invited in to play that's fine. There's no way I would want children randomly wandering into the garden, whether I'm at home or not. To me, the garden is part of my home and therefore I expect privacy. Good for you OP for sorting out a lock. Don't be surprised though if they somehow manage to bypass it!

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