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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Kids in my garden

70 replies

Anonmummyoftwo · 26/10/2021 13:15

Would you let kids play in your back garden if you or your children aren’t in. Iv 2 dc 6&7 and out our back garden they have a trampoline and swing set and I don’t mind them bringing friends round just happy the bloody things getting used honestly. Their off school this week so I booked a week off work to take them out and do some Halloween stuff. My back gate is quiet high up and would need a adult to open it and I always make sure it’s closed at night or when we are out. We were out yesterday all day and when we came home as soon as we got in the door a little girl up the street knocked asking my dd to come out and play in our garden. My dd was tried and it was pissing rain so I said not today and the girl asked could she play out the back anyway. I said no and she left her mum actually messaged me asking could she go out the back and I said no and that I don’t want the gate left open and my kids don’t want to go out. She read it and didn’t write back. 10 and today the girl knocked and I said we were getting ready to go out but when we come home if it’s dry and my dc want to they can go out. Came home just now and noticed back gate open so I went out and this girl was out our back. I told her she can’t come out here when we aren’t in and she said her mum said it’s ok and her mum opened the gate. I walked the girl up the street and told her mum I really don’t want kids in the garden when I’m not home and not to open my back gate again. Her mum seriously didn’t see what was wrong and said she was ok with it so why wasn’t I. I just said don’t do it again and walked away.
Im going to put a lock on the gate from now on but aibu here would you let your kid in someone’s garden when they aren’t in or am I being a big weird. I keep things what if the child fell or something. My dc said they don’t really like playing with this girl as she’s quite bossy to them and always wants in the garden.

OP posts:
paisley256 · 26/10/2021 13:53

How dare they!

MolkosTeenageAngst · 26/10/2021 13:53

For those saying if the child got injured the parents could due, really? I mean even if the parents did try and make a claim is there really any likelihood it would get anywhere? Also, if that is the case isn’t it just as risky to let the child use the garden play equipment when you’re home? In fact if anything isn’t it riskier to have the child use the equipment when you’re there because you take some responsibility for watching her? Presumably if you’re not hone nobody can try and assume by suggesting you were neglectful because you weren’t home?

Sexnotgender · 26/10/2021 13:55

YANBU. Why can’t she play in her own garden?

vixeyann · 26/10/2021 13:56

Brass neck of some people. Wouldn't dream of doing that or allowing it. Get that lock on sharpish!

Cherrysoup · 26/10/2021 13:58

So mad! Of course YANBU! No way do I want random kids in my garden, not even my dc’s mates when we’re not there, it’s just weird. I’m definitely of the persuasion that good fences make good neighbours. Our fences are all 6 feet and there’s no other way into the garden except through the house.

Staryflight445 · 26/10/2021 14:06

I’d go mad if this happened here, how dare they.

Some people are just ridiculously entitled

Anonmummyoftwo · 26/10/2021 14:08

Lock on the gate now. I’m actually shocked at the fact there are others like her. I’d never let my kids just walk into someone’s garden uninvited. I couldn’t get over when she said it’s fine like no it’s not your garden to decide that

OP posts:
Hogwarts4Christmas · 26/10/2021 14:14

@Anonmummyoftwo...BTW, YADNBU...lock the gate

KevinTheKoala · 26/10/2021 14:16

Shock nope. That is shocking I can't believe there are actually people who would think it's OK.

stingofthebutterfly · 26/10/2021 14:18

What happens, not only if she gets hurt, but if she breaks something? Will her mother be as willing to pay for any damages?

No, didn't think so.

Definitely lock your gate and keep the child out. Cheeky sods.

dworky · 26/10/2021 14:20

This woman wilfully trespassed into your garden after you explicitly said no & also implicated her own child!
I would be making it very clear what will happen if she tries it again.

JudgeRindersMinder · 26/10/2021 14:34

YANBU at all and you know it! The lock’s the right move

1forAll74 · 26/10/2021 14:40

It's difficult to understand the mindsets,of someone like your neighbour, who thinks she can go about, with her cheeky and wrong doing ways. Her daughter will not learn anything from her odd bod Mother,

Raindancer411 · 26/10/2021 14:45

No way, if anything happened to her, under the law of tort, they could make you liable... I remember when I did law at college they used an example of if you had a hole in your garden and a burglar fell in and hurt themselves, they could sue you. Just so wrong!!

You have every right to say no, and good on you for putting a lock on the gate. Cheeky cow!

GertrudeCB · 26/10/2021 14:47

Well the mum is a cf isnt she ?
We had this over 20 years ago, pre teens climbing over my fence to play on my toddlers swing set and see-saw. Like you op the mum saw nothing wrong with it, we had it so why couldnt her kids use it ?

LookItsMeAgain · 26/10/2021 14:51

I'd even go so far as to get a signpost for the front of your gate (that is now padlocked) -
No Trespassing Sign
or maybe this one:
Private Property Sign
or this one:
Private Property Keep Out sign

Something like that might work.

Depending on how well you get along with these neighbours, you might want to mention that your back garden is not a public park and the nearest park is (insert details of wherever the nearest park is).

thaegumathteth · 26/10/2021 14:53

God no, and I say this as the person who's house is the one ALL the kids come to ALL the time and I spend a crazy amount of ice lollies and drinks for them all in summer. No you can't just decide you'll use someone else's property - wtaf?

Sparklfairy · 26/10/2021 14:55

Yep, there's been a few threads like this. I particularly liked the one when the teenage son inadvertently locked them in (had headphones on) and CF neighbours were absolutely raging when they were finally discovered Grin

People are amazingly entitled.

FOJN · 26/10/2021 14:55

I can't believe the mother not only broke into your garden but then left her child there unaccompanied with the gate open; dangerous, irresponsible cheeky fuckery.

Her mum seriously didn’t see what was wrong and said she was ok with it so why wasn’t I.

WTF

Yummymummy2020 · 26/10/2021 14:55

No way would I allow this!!!

dottiedodah · 26/10/2021 15:18

She sounds like CF! Hoping to put her DD your way while she gets a break. YANBU at all. I dont think its policy to leave the gate unlocked personally ,There was some dog poo in our garden ,and it wasnt our dog,NDN said they had seen a CF let his dog in our garden late at night!

BumblePan · 26/10/2021 15:25

Wow! I can't believe she thought this was fine.
That's what public playgrounds are for. I am so glad that you stuck up for yourself OP!

Goblina · 26/10/2021 15:36

The mum is an absolute CF.

I bet she now complains that you're "mean" for putting the lock on.

ElsieMc · 26/10/2021 15:43

I once caught a neighbour putting a ladder into our garden (its on a slope) and sending her young son over the wall to collect a football or rather to have a kick about as they thought we were out.

When challenged, she said he was just getting his football. I said he wasn't - I could see no football - because it was dangerous and I did not want him rooting around in the hedge. Told her I would look for it later and send it back. She then complained that I had grown a hedge obstructing her previous access to the garden and told me it being there was a pain in the arse. I replied that it was there because she was.

Rude, entitled woman. I actually felt sorry for her son. If she had just asked politely, it would have been sorted. Except there was no football of course.

Previous complain received that it was a nuisance we had moved in - our house was empty for two years - because she could not come in now and pick all the fruit.

You do not want this child in your garden and your kids do not like her by the sound of things. She has inherited her dm's rude entitlement.

user1471538283 · 26/10/2021 16:38

Good god another one! I can't believe that the child's mother doesn't want to keep an eye on her. It is trespass. I would put it in writing so everyone is clear