Next door neighbour watching me

[GLAD67]

My next door moved in a few weeks ago. However, when i was in the garden i noticed she was taking photos of me from her kitchen window. I find this very strange and uncomfortable. To make matters worse i have right of way through her garden and dont want a photoshoot everytime i am in my garden minding my own buisness.

Speak to the police ask them if its legal what she is doing although how you would go about proving it is another matter

Are you on Facebook? Maybe you have friends in common who could peek her profile and make sure she isn't uploading them

She's chatting to someone you went to school with, and taking photos to prove you've just moved in.

Haha that is genius :D.

Yes i am govong her more headspace than she merits 100%. It is a good idea to just wave if i see her watching or taking photos again to let her know i see you.

She said thank you ( insert name ) when you delivered a parcel and you read this as she knows she is making you uncomfortable?? Big leap there
Also she has just moved in so perfectly normal to be sending friends and family shots of the kitchen ? You sound bit paranoid

Check with her she understands the right of way , I bought a flat and did not know half the garden belonged to up stairs

Maybe she'd zoomed in on a spider hanging in a web near her window? Or a squirrel/bird etc.

What makes you so sure they were pics of you? Nowadays a camera could be pointed your way but be on something totally different, stop being paranoid

Yes that is my thinking that she is taking my picture to show other people. Yes she was a bully, with strange tactics actually. She use to bully all of the girls that she thought or claimed to know hadnt hit puberty yet and would chuck her used tampons over toilet stalls or stick her used pads on people. At the time i just ignored her but when i recognised it all came back.

Are you certain she was taking photos of you and not a bird or something similar in her garden?

@RainbowBriteUk

If she's still nasty she might have been taking yor photo to show to another mean girl from your school days. Some people are arseholes their entire lIves.

This is exactly what I thought. I know someone who would do this even now and she's over 40.

Personally I'd have mentioned it when I took the parcel round.
She likely wont do it again now shes confirmed with whoever that its you. Id just slap a smile on if you see her again but try not to engage. She sounds like a dick.

I don't understand the flashes. Was this at nighttime?

If she does it again, just go round there and ask pleasantly why she's doing it.

I agree with others, she was a witch at school, she knows who you are, she’s sharing updated photos of you with her friends from school.

My friend from school who has FB frequently sends me FB published photos of people we both went to school with as I don’t have it, and says things like “remember Jane Brown from 5R?” And then we discuss how they’ve changed over the years or how they look exactly the same! It’s not malicious though at all.

We would never ever get the phone out though if I bumped into someone in Tesco or whatever!

She sounds completely unhinged with the tampons and pads, who behaves like that. I would be nisy and look her up on social media to see whatever shite she posts.

Maybe she has no idea that you have a right of way through her garden, and is taking pics as proof who's doing it?

I'd pop round for a friendly chat and say "I just want to assure you that when I'm crossing your garden, I try not to intrude and don't look through windows etc. . Your privacy is as important as mine. "

From her reaction you can gauge whether to continue with "What's with the photographs? "

Could she have been photographing something in the garden - bird or squirrel maybe?

Speak to the police ask them if its legal what she is doing although how you would go about proving it is another matter

Actually I think the "right to privacy" bit of the law means it isn't legal to take photos on others when they're in their homes and gardens. So the law is on your side here.

Make a note of date and time and what happened. Add to it if anything else occurs. Maybe she was just taking a photo to show friends 'look who lives here'...Bitchy yes, but not necessarily nightmare neighbour territory.

What a sad and pathetic life she must lead. Live your life op and hold your head high.

It’s only happened once though? You are overthinking it.
And as for her saying hello and smiling, you sound rather paranoid

@2Two

I don't understand the flashes. Was this at nighttime?

If she does it again, just go round there and ask pleasantly why she's doing it.

Yes, phones don't generally flash when taking pictures unless it's dark.

She sounds horrible. I agree she is probably taking the photos to share with other people you both went to school with. Waving at her next time you see her taking photos is a good idea, try and show her that you’re not intimidated by her (even if inwardly you feel it) as usually bullies bully to feel power so if you show you’re not bothered she’ll lose that power over you.

That’s a horrible feeling OP. I think if you got a vibe from her then trust your instincts.

Don’t give her the satisfaction of knowing she’s got to you though. You are an adult now. She, perhaps, still has some maturing to do. Be the bigger, wiser, kinder, stronger one.

Put a welcome to the neighbourhood card through the door with info re the right of way. Hope she’ll be happy in her new home and then remain distant but polite and minimally friendly.

Her actions as a child make me think that she may not have had a happy childhood. Those aren’t the actions of a settled, happy, well adjusted child. It is likely, without having worked on herself, she still has some unhealthy ways of relating to others and if she was subtly goading you then that is even more likely.

Keep your distance but be strong and keep your boundaries when you need to.

Log it with police to start that process. Chances are it was just a photo to say ‘look who I’ve moved next to’ but she sounds a bit like there is a possible risk she could be difficult.

Hopefully she has grown up a bit but just in case keep a distance and live your best life according to what matters most to you regardless of what she’s doing.

I’d get some trellis on the fences and grow some nice climbers to give you some more privacy when your in your garden.

If you were thinking of getting a camera or two Anyway, I’d be inclined to go through with that now. Just to make you feel more secure.

My guess is it’s what the previous poster said. She took the picture to go “look who my new neighbour is”.

OP why has the neighbour in your opening post now turned into your childhood bully at school. Why leave that bit out?

You are letting her bully you again. If you get a parcel for her again do take it round, she can come and get it. Dont give her the headspace. You are letting her past behaviour impact you in adulthood as you feel vulnerable through illness. Stiff upper lip, ignore her and next time her mum stares say hello 👋 can I help you? Be strong, you're a grown up now. Sorry to hear you're ill maybe some pampering at home would make you feel better about yourself and less worried about her in general or taking photos etc.

Playing devil's advocate she might have changed and simply have took a photo to ask a fellow ex school friend if it was you or not - not in a horrible way at all. Either way - pretend you don't know her and treat her as you would any other neighbour. Or if she does start being horrible perhaps ask her loudly in front of others if she still flings used pads and tampons at people like she did at school!

My phones flash would go off from a dark north facing room on a dull day. Hopefully all she got was the reflection of the flash!

OP you were talking about her and just referring to her as a neighbour - "why would you need a picture of your neighbours face" - but now you remember her being awful at school. I'm confused - did you know it was her or have you learnt that since starting the thread?