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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unsure about kids party

32 replies

Burnt0utMum · 25/10/2021 19:23

DD7 has been invited to a birthday party of a classmate. Not a child she's ever spoken about so I don't actually know who they are and don't know the parents. The party is at their house on a Saturday around dinner time. She wants to go but I don't feel comfortable dropping her off somewhere where I don't know any of the adults and think it'd probably be rude of me to insist I stay too. AIBU? Should I let her go?

OP posts:
MissMaple82 · 25/10/2021 19:40

Let her go..what do think is going to happen?

LettertoHermoine · 25/10/2021 19:53

Jesus let her go.

Oneforthemoneytwo · 25/10/2021 19:54

She’s 7!! Why on earth wouldn’t you drop her

Navigationcentral · 25/10/2021 19:57

This is surely mad. We are FT working parents who’ve never met any of Year 1 DS’s class parents except those at after school club. We just hosted a 16 kid party for him where 60% parents dropped and happily left!

What ok Earth you think might happen at a party?

Original poster
Burnt0utMum · 25/10/2021 20:30

Having never met them, how do you know it's a safe environment? They could have a big dog or could smoke indoors etc. I agree it'll probably be fine but I feel like I need to have a sense of who they are before I leave my child with them.

OP posts:
WheelieBinPrincess · 25/10/2021 20:34

Well, take her to the door. If you’re met with a big blast of fag smoke or a salivating pit bull, put her back in the car.

siestalady · 25/10/2021 20:36

I'm with you, OP. In fact we had a v similar scenario and I didn't let my DD go to a party at someone's house where I didn't know anything about the parents/their boundaries etc. At the end of the day, if you're not comfortable then don't let her go. 7 is very young imo

WitchyNameChange · 25/10/2021 20:36

@WheelieBinPrincess

Well, take her to the door. If you’re met with a big blast of fag smoke or a salivating pit bull, put her back in the car.
This.

Also I don't know any of the parents of my DC classmates and they've happily gone to many parties and nothing bad happened. I also went to loads when I was a kid and my parents definitely didn't know any of my classmates parents!

winteranimal · 25/10/2021 20:37

I'm with you. I wouldn't leave my child in an unfamiliar house where I hadn't met the adults.

Hankunamatata · 25/10/2021 20:38

Just ask parent if you can hang around and make excuse dd is bit nervous.

rattlemehearties · 25/10/2021 20:38

Hmm I find that even at drop off parties, parents tend to come in for a few minutes to make small talk before leaving . So that's a perfect chance for you to make your own assessment of whether you want to leave or stay.

HotPenguin · 25/10/2021 20:38

If you're concerned, just say you'll stay for 10 minutes to settle her in. Then check it out for vicious dogs and chain smokers. (By the way I once dropped my son at a party where adults were smoking and drinking and didn't realise til I collected)

Original poster
Burnt0utMum · 25/10/2021 21:04

I'm kind of thinking it's better to just not go than take her to the door and turn around if I don't like the look of it. Even if I say I'll stay for 10 mins, if I then decide I'm not happy for her to stay it's not exactly easy to make an excuse to make her leave straight away.

OP posts:
WheelieBinPrincess · 25/10/2021 21:08

What about next time she’s invited for a play or for a party then? What will you do? Just keep declining invites?

Leftphalange · 25/10/2021 21:08

Let her go, you can always drop her off at the door and if you're unsure after that go back after 5 mins and say you need to go due to a family emergency

Spudina · 25/10/2021 21:09

Geez let her go. Drop and run is normal at this age. You could always ask ahead of time if they have a dog and say DD is phobic??

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 25/10/2021 21:09

I would speak to her parents, suggest your DD is shy and would they kind of you stayed for a bit?

I’m cautious about who I leave my child with SS know first hand what could go wrong.

WorraLiberty · 25/10/2021 21:12

Argos sell PAYG phones for £3

Buy her one and let her go.

WorraLiberty · 25/10/2021 21:13

Don't lie and say your DD is shy if she isn't. That's not fair on her.

WitchyNameChange · 25/10/2021 21:13

So will you turn down any party invite from families you don't know? That's quite a few fun occasions she'll be missing out on.

XelaM · 25/10/2021 21:14

Your poor daughter won't have any friends throughout school if you don't allow her to parties! You're wayyy overthinking this. I have never been "uncomfortable" at a kids party and my daughter is in Year 7

youvegottenminuteslynn · 25/10/2021 21:14

@OnceuponaRainbow18

I would speak to her parents, suggest your DD is shy and would they kind of you stayed for a bit?

I’m cautious about who I leave my child with SS know first hand what could go wrong.

This is a good idea if it eases your anxiety a bit OP. A sensible compromise.
rrhuth · 25/10/2021 21:16

@winteranimal

I'm with you. I wouldn't leave my child in an unfamiliar house where I hadn't met the adults.
Me neither at only 7. Appreciate this is a minority position, but plenty of people are twats.

A professional club/organised event is different.

WitchyNameChange · 25/10/2021 21:20

Please don't say your daughter is shy if she isn't, that's not fair.

StopGoQuitStart · 25/10/2021 21:21

I think it’s because it’s at their home that would make me more wary. If it was a party at a venue or hall I’d drop off at that age (or wait in reception etc) but somehow dropping my 7yr old at a strangers house for them to care for her and lots of other children seems different. You don’t know them at all so don’t know their parenting, attitude to pets, who else is in the house etc. It does feel different than a “venue” party to be and I don’t think your wrong to feel cautious.