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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay the babysitter?

115 replies

Coolcoolcool · 25/10/2021 17:38

We know two 17 year old girls (sisters) through a hobby club that my family are part of. We’ve known them for 6 years and my DH and I, as volunteer leaders, have invested quite a lot of time into their lives over the years and consider them friends of our family. Anyway, they love our kids and have been begging for years to be able to babysit them. We always said when they turned 17 they could. We’ve asked them to babysit next week so that dh and I can attend a meeting for said hobby and they are delighted.
I wasn’t planning on paying them, just leaving them a meal or some nice snacks and drinks or something, as I would usually for a friend who babysits, but another friend thinks we should be paying them. Really we only need one of them to babysit, but they kinda come as a package deal - should I be paying for them both?! What’s the going rate? It would be for two hours and the kids will be in bed.
Wwyd?

OP posts:
logsonlogsoff · 26/10/2021 07:23

For teenagers £5 each is the going rate round here. £8 is what the nursery workers/adults making money on the side charge. £10 an hour is for someone doing ‘nanny’ hours ie having your kids during the day and doing dinner, bed etc

Bluntness100 · 26/10/2021 07:53

I’m also glad you will pay them, it would be appalling not to, but I suspect you’re now going too far th other way, I’d likely pay a fiver an hour each so a tenner an hour for both as you only need one.

Madjakelmum · 26/10/2021 17:38

Seriously £10ph. But only pay one. Tell them they can split the money. But if your out for more than one hour please pay per hour.

mumto2teenagers · 26/10/2021 17:45

I would say £10 per hour seems about right, but you shouldn't have to pay them both, they can split the money.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 26/10/2021 17:47

I wasn’t planning on paying them

Charming. Do you expect everyone to work for you for free?

Walkingthroughwords · 26/10/2021 18:05

Ask them what they'd like. Pay them £20 or order them a movie and snacks and give them £10. Of course you can't expect it for free. Ask them if it turns out to be regular what they'd expect as this is just a trial.

Walkingthroughwords · 26/10/2021 18:06

I'd also pay for them to take first aid if they haven't already. Maybe food hygiene. A proper gig for their cvs. If their parents are family friends treat them the way you'd want your kids treated.

Lokdok · 26/10/2021 18:08

Ha! Why do you think they want to babysit!? Of course you need to pay them.

BigYellowHat · 26/10/2021 18:09

I agree with the posters saying you shouldn’t have to pay both of them. You don’t need both of them. Definitely discuss this beforehand so they can decide if they still want to come over. I’d say £15 to the designated babysitter plus snacks is fine. Say that next time the other one can be the designated babysitter. Then it’s up to them whether they split the money.

Donelurking · 26/10/2021 18:10

I’m taken aback that you should need to ask OP. Of course you should. And not £10 for whole evening. Around £10 per hour (this negotiable).

keeptheaspidistra · 26/10/2021 18:20

Of course you need to pay them! What do you think they've been doing, eagerly awaiting turning 17 in order to provide you free child care? I'm genuinely shocked you even needed to ask this.

Lotusmonster · 26/10/2021 18:25

OP definitely needs to pay them. BUT if these girls think that every potential new babysitting customer is going to be happy to pay them EACH £10 per hour because they are a ‘package’, then they’re in for a bit of a shock! You are misguiding their expectations for the working world.

I’d personally in principle pay for the service, not the number of providers! I’d tell them the going rate is £10 per hour. But because they’re together offer £7.50 each. They need to know what it’s really like out there in the big world!

lisaandalan · 26/10/2021 18:26

I'd definitely pay them, it's nice for them to earn a little bit, I'd still leave them snacks ect. X

BabbleBee · 26/10/2021 18:28

I pay my teenage babysitter £5 an hour but I usually round it up because I never have £5 notes!

cherish123 · 26/10/2021 18:29

Just give the £10 each.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 26/10/2021 18:37

they might have been begging you to babysit for a bit of pocket money.

Of course you have to pay them.

That all really needs to be agreed up front.

My DD volunteered at Rainbows for her DofE and loved it.
Ended up babysitting for lots of the girls and some parents absolutely took the piss.
Just because she adored the girls and was happy to babysit doesn't mean she shouldn't be paid appropriately!!

Dnaltocs · 26/10/2021 18:37

£10 and food and goodies. Your children are worth this. Can’t see why you thought you wouldn’t pay.

I’m pleased you’ve decided to pay.

Enjoy the meeting.

Upwherethebirdsfly · 26/10/2021 18:49

I think £10 each is crazy. You would normally only have one babysitter - they are choosing to come together. I would go with £15 each for 2 hours absolute max. Once you’ve set the price there is no going back! Or just ask them, what rate they are thinking of (odds on they will go low) x

ChargingBuck · 26/10/2021 18:50

I wasn’t planning on paying them

Why on earth not?

Babysitting is seen as a gateway job by most teens/young adults who are begging for years to be able to babysit.

Sure, they like your DC, & you are friends through the hobby club.
But why would you think that entitles you to not pay them?

Young adults who beg for babysitting are begging for A JOB, not just the pleasure of your DC's company!

As to pay - find out the going rate for your area, & pay it.
No need to pay them both i.e. double-rate as you don't need them both - but be very upfront about that, making sure you explain that you are happy to pay £X per hour, but for them to share, not each.

ChargingBuck · 26/10/2021 18:51

@saltinesandcoffeecups

Can I just take the time to point out that if you are the parent to a teen embarking on their lucrative babysitting career, this is the perfect opportunity to teach them how to sand up for themselves and their worth.

They should know the terms of their evening’s work before agreeing to do the job.

Look at all the different responses here, young ladies, especially need to get comfortable asking about things like pay and conditions, and not be taught through these interactions to ‘trust their employer’

Good on you Op for seeing reason, but since I haven’t crawled off my soapbox, this is definitely something you should have coached them into asking about.

And now I’m off my soapbox.

Wish I'd been this eloquent - but yeah, @saltinesandcoffeecups!
Insanelysilver · 26/10/2021 18:51

I’m sure part of their delight at being asked to baby sit was the certain knowledge that babysitters get paid for babysitting.
I’d think £15 each is probably about the amount for an evening if they’re joining up. They’ll probably be fighting over going alone before long. Unless your house is so amazing that they’re desperate to swim in your heated swimming pool and watch the latest film in your home cinema room lol

msgreen · 26/10/2021 19:06

You must pay ,
but only the rate for one sitter they will have to split it

Nomorepies · 26/10/2021 19:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request

LaetitiaASD · 26/10/2021 19:24

@MrsSchadenfreude

Of course you should pay them. £10 each at the minimum.
How on earth can you say that? If they have been begging to earn money from babysitting then pay them alternately dependent on which one of them is turning up and doing the work.

If, however, as is possible based on OP, they have been begging because they want to chill as a pair away from their parents house and like kids then paying them is entirely optional.

Livelovebehappy · 26/10/2021 19:36

Can’t believe the suggestions of £10 per hour for each one 😧 that’s £40 for the two hours you’re out. Presume some of that time will be you travelling somewhere. I don’t think I’d bother tbh.