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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay the babysitter?

115 replies

Coolcoolcool · 25/10/2021 17:38

We know two 17 year old girls (sisters) through a hobby club that my family are part of. We’ve known them for 6 years and my DH and I, as volunteer leaders, have invested quite a lot of time into their lives over the years and consider them friends of our family. Anyway, they love our kids and have been begging for years to be able to babysit them. We always said when they turned 17 they could. We’ve asked them to babysit next week so that dh and I can attend a meeting for said hobby and they are delighted.
I wasn’t planning on paying them, just leaving them a meal or some nice snacks and drinks or something, as I would usually for a friend who babysits, but another friend thinks we should be paying them. Really we only need one of them to babysit, but they kinda come as a package deal - should I be paying for them both?! What’s the going rate? It would be for two hours and the kids will be in bed.
Wwyd?

OP posts:
Tinacollada · 25/10/2021 18:18

Our babysitter is 17, she gets £5 an hour, a meal and unlimited snacks/ drinks (i.e. fuck loads😂)

Yes you need to pay them!

Viviennemary · 25/10/2021 18:21

It would be unthinkable not to pay them. I think £10 each altogether would be fine for two hours.

Mumwithapub · 25/10/2021 18:28

Look up minimum wage for 17 yr olds no where near £10 an hour if they helped in a cafe they would be on that and "working" it's about £5/6 an hour but sitting in your home is alot more relaxing and enjoyable. Don't be ripped off.

girlmom21 · 25/10/2021 18:32

OP if you don't want to pay them just for babysitting while you're at the meeting could you and DH go for a meal or cinema after?
Pay them £20 for the evening, and then next time you ask them to babysit they won't expect £10 an hour, they'll expect £20 an evening?

User527294627 · 25/10/2021 18:34

Of course you pay them! Bloody hell, what a question!

If you only want to pay one, tell them so and let them choose which one does it.

icedcoffees · 25/10/2021 18:35

@2pinkginsplease

I do think they need paid for doing it but I think £10 an hour is excessive!

I work in childcare in a private nursery and don’t even make that an hour.

But you also get pension contributions, sick pay, annual leave and a contract that guarantees you a set number of hours each week.

Babysitters don't get any of that and they work is very, very ad-hoc. You can't compare the two at all.

mrsbitaly · 25/10/2021 18:35

If you pay them it will allow them to have such a great sense of earning money and they will likely take it more seriously knowing it is being paid for like a job.

They may not even be expecting money seen as they have asked many times to do it but it'll be nice for them and may prove extremely useful in the future to have trusted babysitters.

Eeiliethya · 25/10/2021 18:35

I'd offer to pay them £10 each or ask if they'd rather let me buy them a nice takeaway whilst babysitting.

I love a good curry Grin

21budgies · 25/10/2021 18:37

Someone did this to me once, but without leaving anything to eat. Bloody mean and annoying. Of course they want to earn money.

crimsonlake · 25/10/2021 18:39

Of course you should pay them, no doubt this is why they are so keen to babysit...regardless of whether your children are asleep or not.

21budgies · 25/10/2021 18:39

At that age, minimum wage is around £4.20.

Thefaceofboe · 25/10/2021 18:39

Absolutely pay but I wouldn’t have 2 people babysitting, or I’d pay them a set amount and they split it. Also £10 an hour is a lot, I charge that and I’m fully qualified in childcare and have DBS check, first aid etc. I would say £6 an hour personally.

finopitta · 25/10/2021 18:41

Pay going rate but only once and they can share it

PassTheDutchyUpYrLeftBackside · 25/10/2021 18:43

@Coolcoolcool

It’s not about thinking they owe us anything - of course they don’t - I said that more to explain depth of relationship. But they have always talked about repaying kindness we have showed them. BUT - you’re all right, teenage girls are definitely keen for babysitting as a money-earner.

Hi OP,

I think as it's only 2 hours, £10 each plus snacks is fine but you do need to be wary of setting expectations and going too high, too soon, especially for teens who haven't babysit before.

You could say 'we usually pay £7'or 8 per hour' so they're clear.

You'll end up not being able to use them regularly if you go over the £10 per hour in total which is no good for anyone.

Smileyaxolotl1 · 25/10/2021 18:48

I don’t think it’s unreasonable not to pay them if you are providing treats.
Those saying that the only reason teenagers want to babysit is for the cash must have very mercenary teenagers. My friends and I would have been happy to have a house and tv to ourselves for a few hours.

pinkyredrose · 25/10/2021 18:48

She said £10 each not an hour.

icedcoffees · 25/10/2021 18:59

@21budgies

At that age, minimum wage is around £4.20.
It's really irrelevant what minimum wage is, as a job at McDonald's or Tesco comes with set hours, paid annual leave, sick pay etc. Babysitting does not.
notnownora · 25/10/2021 19:09

I would say that you usually pay £8 an hour but you will give them £10 each for the 2 hours (plus leave snacks out). That way you will prepare them for any future babysitting that they do for you.

LowlandLucky · 25/10/2021 19:25

Ask them if they want cash or a takeaway

LettertoHermoine · 25/10/2021 19:25

I am glad you are going to pay them, fair play. It would be very very mean not to offer them payment. They may refuse it but it should definitely be offered.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 25/10/2021 19:27

Babysitting isn't a job though! It's an ad hoc extra bit of money for a few spare hours of doing not much.

Mummylewi · 25/10/2021 19:31

Yes YABU. Of course you pay them.

stingofthebutterfly · 25/10/2021 19:32

Personally I'd give them £20 each. It might seem excessive to some people but they'd be looking after the most important things in the world to me. I wouldn't give a damn about ensuring I paid them near minimum wage if it's not going to be a regular thing.

ChloeDecker · 25/10/2021 19:39

I wasn’t planning on paying them, just leaving them a meal or some nice snacks and drinks or something, as I would usually for a friend who babysits,

I’m very surprised you already have a friend who you don’t pay, to babysit. Unless you babysit for each others’ kids?

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 25/10/2021 19:40

@stingofthebutterfly

Personally I'd give them £20 each. It might seem excessive to some people but they'd be looking after the most important things in the world to me. I wouldn't give a damn about ensuring I paid them near minimum wage if it's not going to be a regular thing.
£40 for 2 hours babysitting? I guess if you're loaded that's a reasonable amount but you know most people couldn't afford that right? And it doesn't mean they value their kids less than you do!