I come from a pretty big family being one of six so as you can imagine, personalities clash, there can be arguments from time to time and we don't always agree. But generally we are all very close and have family gatherings on birthdays and holidays etc. I've always had a particularly strong bond with my youngest brother but ever since his now fiancée walked on the scene 4 years ago he's barely been around and our relationship has taken a real hit. I'm not going to stand here and say that I ever liked this girl, because I haven't and I'm not the only one. She's very difficult to talk to and I always felt that she thought she was better than us with her stuck up ways and princess attitude. She seemed to make my brother very happy though so for the sake of keeping the peace we kept our mouths shut. Until recently.
I have a 2 year old son and although his dad is sort of around it has never been easy. This man treated me appallingly, was manipulative, is a total narcissist, has threatened me with everything you can think of over the years and has generally made my life a living hell. I left him when I was 4 months pregnant and because I had nowhere to go I was forced to move back home with my mum. My younger brother very generously gave up his room for me which I wasn't comfortable with but we decided it was the better option since the only other room was the attic and they didn't want me climbing a ladder. When his girlfriend found out who was due to be moving over from Greece, threw the mother of all hissy fits and had a blaring argument over the phone with my brother. Baring in mind this girl could have easily gone with student accommodation which is what she would have done anyway had she not met my brother! The attic was now out of the question and I was wrong to be there. It's safe to say that my mum was pretty furious about this but did her best not to upset my brother as I did too but I now felt even more uncomfortable and at my most vulnerable time. So fast forward a month and she finally arrives, I'm still carrying feelings of anger towards her, she clearly does not like me but we exchange pleasantries and carry on minding our own business. My relationship with my brother is becoming more and more strained and I'm feeling more and more in the way and desperate to find my own place. We live in the most expensive city in the UK though so this wasn't going to be easy and I was forced to find help through the council and if any of you have ever been in this situation, you'll know how long and drawn out this process can take. I looked to private rent so I could get out sooner but everyone kept advising me against it and my mum didn't want me to leave. I ended up being there until my son was just a few months old and although I'm super appreciative of the help I got from my mum, it was not easy being under the same roof as little miss princess and my brother who seemed to fall at her feet trying to make her happy. Now, going back to my ex. Even though I had left him, at that time I still wanted him to be in our sons life but it didn't come without it's costs. He was constantly nasty to me, said horrible things about my mum and her house, threatened to take full custody once my son was born and belittled me. When things got especially bad I tried to talk to my brother about it as we always had before and he gave me the cold shoulder! He actually took my ex's side and tried to blame me for his disgusting behaviour. It hurt me so much and my once sweet and caring brother just seemed like this entirely different person altogether. I couldn't understand how he could take my ex's side who had threatened to kill me, thrown things at me and took off running down the road with our month old baby in the middle of the night. Throughout the years he has continued to have a friendship with this man and it has always bothered me but because of the way he took his side that time, I couldn't bring myself to have much contact with him anymore and we went for the next 2 years without speaking. He missed my birthday and my sons first birthday. Before that we had never missed a single one and used to spoil each other with inside joke presents and make a massive deal out of it. It's like I've lost one of my best friends. We only just started talking again a few months ago when I told him I was moving to live with my now partner who I absolutely adore. He came and took some stuff from my flat that I didn't need anymore (without his girlfriend) and we got chatting just like old times. It was lush and I felt like we were getting back to how we used to be. Then, one night while the ex was giving me his usual bullshit about this and that, he sent me some pictures of my son. Pictures that I had taken on my phone and uploaded to my social media. I don't have my ex on anything and have blocked him after he harassed me and was stalking me. My heart sank as I realised how he had gotten them. My brother. Instead of jumping to conclusions though I asked him outright and sure enough, it was him. He said he didn't think anything of it and it was totally innocent for my ex to want some pictures of our son even though I send him pictures and he has video calls with him. We are going through a legal battle right now over my son after he threatened to take him out of the country. I was furious, hurt and felt like he had crossed the line with his total disregard for my trust. We ended up having a bit of a row about it, me trying to explain why that was wrong and not his place to take MY pictures from MY social media without even running it by me or mentioning that my ex had asked, and him shouting at me, insulting me calling me fucking snowflake of all things and telling me to get off my high horse. By that point I was literally raging and basically told him that I never want any contact with him ever again. How could he do that? How could he not know or even care that that was over the line? He has never made an effort to meet my son or wish him a happy birthday but he did through my ex!! They would meet up for fucking lunch dates! And to top it off, I then get the rudest message I think I've ever read from his girlfriend!!! Telling me to leave him alone and that I'm causing him stress by bringing my shitty little life and tantrums in to his! Or how I've apparently caused 4 years of hurt to their relationship even though we haven't seen or spoke for the last 2! She even started messaging my mum for some kind of justification to the whole situation and got the exact same response that she got from me. I'm just blown away by it and have since blocked them both and made it very clear that I want no contact with either of them but I just can't shake it. It's all really bothering me and I'm still pretty bloody angry about it. Was I right to react the way I did? I don't want to cause trouble for my family who are all on my side but it still hurts so much that he can continue to have this friendship with my ex that has caused so much shit over the years, not just to me but my family too and my son. My brother who I once cared so deeply for is now this total stranger that I don't even recognise. I don't want him to be isolated from his family either but we're all just so shocked at what he did and how he spoke to me. Sorry for the really long post I've been holding on to this for days and it's making me crazy 