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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you normally do after school with primary aged kids

101 replies

Janeaustenaddict · 24/10/2021 23:06

What do you/your kids ds do after school? Reading the playdate thread earlier today with people having weekly playdates I feel I am not doing enough with the kids after school. But I'm not sure how others fit it all in alongside homework, time to relax etc.

So our week looks like this
Mon - DD1 has a maths tutor (as really struggling with this)
Tues - both DC do ballet (consecutive classes so takes up most of the evening)
Weds/thurs- snack, play at home, homework, watch TV
Fri - film and pizza 🍕 night at home

We also have one or two playdates a term, the odd trip to the shops and/or library. Saturday both DC have swimming and dance classes so quite a hectic day.

What do you get up too? And if you do more fun stuff how do you fit homework/reading/spellings in etc?

OP posts:
BlackLambAndGreyFalcon · 25/10/2021 12:22

DD is 8 and our week looks as follows:

Monday - swimming lesson
Tuesday - German lesson (at home via zoom) and free/homework time afterwards
Wednesday - Drama class
Thursday- cubs
Friday - free time
Saturday - free time
Sunday - church and piano lesson.

Playdates happen roughly once a week/once every two weeks on a Friday or Saturday/Sunday.

PivotPivotPivottt · 25/10/2021 12:33

My 9 year old dances Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and goes to gymnastics on Thursday. My 4 year old dances on a Tuesday. On a Friday after school we don't do anything. 9 year old plays out with the kids in the street after school every day before her activities and whenever she's not at them so I never have to worry about keeping her entertained. My 4 year old is obviously too young to play out unless the girl next door comes in for her and they play together in my back garden. Other than that we don't do anything and tbh even if they didn't have activities I doubt we would do anything after school. We do stuff at the weekends but through the week I prefer to be at home.

careerchangeperhaps · 25/10/2021 12:38

Generally we get home about 3:30.

Mon - Homework / chill until dinner (about 5:30). One child has Cubs, the other a sport so we're all out from 6:15-8:30 or thereabouts.

Tues - Homework / chill until dinner (about 5:30). DC1 has a sport from 7-8, DC2 plays board games with whichever parent doesn't go out with DC1.

Weds - DC2 has music straight from school until 5:30. DC1 goes home to do homework. We eat at about 6 then more homework / TV after dinner.

Thurs - Homework / chill until dinner (about 5:30). DC1 has a sport from 7-8. DC2 will read / practice music etc after dinner.

Fri - Generally just TV after school, maybe park trip near school if the weather is nice. Early tea for the kids at about 4:30 as DC2 has sport from 6-7.

MinnieMountain · 25/10/2021 12:41

@OnceuponaRainbow18 working pt or flexible hours?

I’m pt and I know we’re fortunate to be able to afford that. DH works ft so does pick up once in a blue moon.

Bugbeau · 25/10/2021 12:49

Monday - both at after school club
Tuesday - my mum picks up littlest (as after school club full at infants), oldest at after school club
Weds - my mum picks up both, littlest has ballet
Thurs - oldest has swimming, littlest plays in playground with friends while he swims
Fri - littlest has gymnastics
We rarely do week night play dates as I’m either taking them to classes or working. Little one reads every night when we get home, oldest fits homework in sometime on a Monday or Tuesday and then at the weekend. I don’t know many kids who have play dates every week.

liveforsummer · 25/10/2021 18:44

[quote Pinetreesfall]@OnceuponaRainbow18

I was wondering the same thing! I do most of them but it's not until 5.30pm usually.
I guess if people finish work at 3pm or earlier maybe it's possible. It seems you and I are in the minority. What are we doing wrong Blush[/quote]
Well that's easy - you've chosen not to be a SAHM and you don't work within school hours. You've not done anything 'wrong' - just made a different choice.

Lndnmummy · 25/10/2021 18:54

My DS is 9 and does after school club Mon-Thurs. He has sports (at after school club twice a week). On Mondays he gets hone at 5:30, then his tutor arrives (dyslexic so needs some extra support). Tues/Wed/Thurs he gets home at 6, has dinner and about 40min home work each night, including reading. Sports on Saturday. Friday evening and Sundays he pretty much gets a free reign of what he wants to do and eat. Friday he normally chooses to make pizza and watch a movie with us. Sunday he is on his play station for way longer than what is sensible (and he has pancakes for breakfast).

Lndnmummy · 25/10/2021 18:57

I used to do pick up at 3:15 and then used to do play dates quite a bit but I work longer hours now. Good thing is that the "play dates" are now at after school which is a win win really. They normally play football/basket ball so i feel alot less guilty for working full time knowing he is having a nice time with his friends (and playing outside and being active).

Pleasegodgotosleep · 25/10/2021 21:47

Monday
3.15-5.30 - DD1 clubs/DD2 Grannies
(while I go back to work)
5.30-8 - homework, reading, tea, bath

Tuesday
3.15 - 5 - Grannies
5-6 - homework, tea
6-7.15 - both Karate
7.15-8 - reading, play

Wednesday
3.15-4.45 - homework, reading
4.45-5.45 - DD1 swimming/DD2 play
5.45-8 - play, TV

Thursday
3.15-8 - homework, play, tea, TV

Friday
3.15-4.45 - DD1 gymnastics/DD2 swimming
4.45-8 - play, tea, disco night

DeepaBeesKit · 25/10/2021 21:53

2 days a week dc are in childcare. 1 day = swimming lesson. Atm we often fit a playdate on one of the others but might start piano lessons soon which would be on that day.

DC only has reading books and a weekend homework but it only takes about 2 mins, they do it as soon as they get in friday night. The school reading books also only take 2 mins because their school won't move them up a level at this stage of reception but they started school already reading much harder books.

RoseMartha · 25/10/2021 22:01

When they were at primary and we didnt have a club or lesson they chilled at home.
We never did playdates on sch nights. Mainly because no one wanted to come as SN child put them off visiting us by her behaviour.

RestingStitchFace · 25/10/2021 22:15

Mon/Weds/Fri DS is with childminder after school because I work.

Tues/Thurs pick him up and take him to the park after school - weather permitting.

Our only structured activity is swimming club on Saturday.

The rest of the time DS has down time. Often has at least an hour of TV after school. (He's autistic and 'decompresses' by watching YouTube videos of trains.) He's way too tired after school for formal playdates.

Original poster
Janeaustenaddict · 25/10/2021 22:33

I wonder what any teachers think about the balance of activities/playdates, school work and downtime. Maybe it's too much down to the individual children to say.
I think it can be hard to get the balance right.

OP posts:
spaceghetto · 25/10/2021 22:40

I used to feel this pressure but don't anymore. My ds rarely asks to have friends over. He said "i see my friends all day, i want to spend time with you." I will soak up this cuteness until he no longer wants to hang out with me!

ThePoisonousMushroom · 25/10/2021 22:54

Monday one has a sports club, the other spends that time doing her homework.
Tuesday both at after school club.
Wednesday one has sports club, the other has Rainbows.
Thursday both have music lessons.
Friday is play date night generally… either one has a friend round or both do.

bizboz · 25/10/2021 23:26

@Janeaustenaddict

I wonder what any teachers think about the balance of activities/playdates, school work and downtime. Maybe it's too much down to the individual children to say. I think it can be hard to get the balance right.
I'm a primary teacher and my DC have one of the busiest schedules. I think extra-curricular activities enhance education. I'd prefer there wasn't any homework other than reading and basic spelling/times tables practice at primary age too.
CasaBonita · 25/10/2021 23:32

Ugh definitely no play dates during the week, I can't cope with that! although he does see friends most weekends.

During the week - after school club x 3, swimming x 1 and chill day x 1

GTAlogic · 25/10/2021 23:56

Nothing. They come home, get changed, go out to play, have their tea and then at about 6ish they're in for the night. They might game, read, watch TV or whatever and then it's time to get ready for bed. If they have homework they'll do a bit of that.

HumbugWhale · 26/10/2021 07:12

@Janeaustenaddict I'm a secondary teacher and I think doing extra activities is brilliant for children in all sorts of ways: mixing and making friends with lots of different people, gaining confidence, resposibility, learning skills etc. Their pride when they perform in a school play or concert for instance is immense and they often discover they can do things they didn't believe about themselves. This is also important when they are applying for college/university/jobs as it shows they have their own interests outside school.
I think a little homework is important to practise things they have learnt in school and also to get into good habits to study independently- unfortunately they do have to do this once they start GCSEs/A levels. I don't think kids should be having hours of homework each though, they need a rest!

autumnalvibes · 26/10/2021 07:31

We have a park literally next door to the school so they will often play there with school friends for a bit. Other than that they will play in the garden with the children next door, go scooting/bike ride with the children next door, beavers/football, watch tv, walk to Costa as a treat, do homework, play with whatever they want at home.

DrunkenKoala · 26/10/2021 07:55

DD is 6.

Mon & Tues we walk home via park and stop for a play. Usually home by 4 and she plays while I cook tea.
Weds I drive her home and usually home by 3.30. Practice spellings and do any other homework.
Thursday & Fri same as Mon & Tues.
We do reading each morning before school.
She has a swimming lesson on a Saturday morning.
Sunday afternoons we finish off any homework etc.

PumpkinPie2016 · 26/10/2021 08:34

DH picks up our DS who is 7 as I don't get home until around 5pm.

Sometimes DS wants to play on the park after school so they do that. Then they go home and chill.

Tuesdays DS has beavers and on Thursdays he has a swimming lesson.

Otherwise, during the week, not much to be honest.

At weekends, I make sure we do something e.g. swimming, walk, go into the next village to the park/cafe, library.

It's a busy week at school for them and I do think they need downtime. My job is very high pressured so I also need downtime Grin

FireworkParrot · 26/10/2021 08:41

DD started Reception in September.

Monday I pick her up after school and we just come straight home to play/watch TV/have a snack.
Tuesday she has her swimming lesson after school.
Wed, Thu and Fri she goes to after school club so by the time we're home and have had dinner and she's had some chill time it's time for bed.

We have done a couple of play dates but only at the weekend as most other parents are also working so it's too much to do during the week.

Fundays12 · 26/10/2021 08:48

I have 3 kids but one is toddler.

Mon -DS2 goes to a martial arts class. Ds1 aged 9 normally plays with friends on the street (dh works from home so is here).
Tues -DS1 goes swimming with club other kids often do crafts, art or play with me at home.
Wed - normally homework, relax, play in the garden and after eldest goes to play outside. DS2 is starting an activity club soon.
Thurs - My toddler is at the childminder so I take the older kids swimming or to the cinema etc
Fri - ds1 goes to after school club so the younger 2 often play in the garden and we have family film night.

I work one day every weekend so the other is family time.

SquidGame0456 · 26/10/2021 09:31

DS is 8. Our school doesn't give homework, which I'm eternally grateful for! I do pick ups as I'm not working.

Monday - Beavers
Tuesday - chill at home
Wednesday - football
Thursday - sometimes go to cousins house or they come to ours (they go to same school as DS and live a minute away)
Friday - watch an episode of The Amazing Race and invite Granny over to watch as well, get lots of snacks out

Weekends we go to my folks on one or both days and usually see his cousins there as well.

Before covid we had an after school playdate maybe once a month or so but tbh I've enjoyed not having to do them as they are rarely reciprocated.