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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what you normally do after school with primary aged kids

101 replies

Janeaustenaddict · 24/10/2021 23:06

What do you/your kids ds do after school? Reading the playdate thread earlier today with people having weekly playdates I feel I am not doing enough with the kids after school. But I'm not sure how others fit it all in alongside homework, time to relax etc.

So our week looks like this
Mon - DD1 has a maths tutor (as really struggling with this)
Tues - both DC do ballet (consecutive classes so takes up most of the evening)
Weds/thurs- snack, play at home, homework, watch TV
Fri - film and pizza 🍕 night at home

We also have one or two playdates a term, the odd trip to the shops and/or library. Saturday both DC have swimming and dance classes so quite a hectic day.

What do you get up too? And if you do more fun stuff how do you fit homework/reading/spellings in etc?

OP posts:

Pics · 25/10/2021 08:20

Very little. They have a few clubs but not when they were in Key Stag1. We swim once a week - my only non-negotiable in terms of after school activities. Due to work and having different children to pick up on different days, they don't have friends over very often - maybe once a half term at the moment - but might play with a neighbour as a last minute thing once a week.
I intentionally don't let them do clubs every day (although it would be easier for me) as i know they are tired, and want time to play, and time to watch TV - but i don't allow any devices/gaming etc during the week. I think they are tired and need downtime.

DunderMifflinSalesRep · 25/10/2021 08:26

Monday: Occasionally play dates, but not every week as that would do my head in. Otherwise it's play time / TV / Gaming.

Tuesday: Clubs

Wednesday / Thursday I'm working so they are at childcare provider.

Friday: Pizza and movie night here as well!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 25/10/2021 08:31

Monday Swimming lessons
Tuesday Cubs
Wednesday/Thursday... grandparents often visit, or we use our zoo season tickets (the zoo is less than 10mins away, very lucky, and has great play parks)
Friday Rugby
Sunday Rugby

I was hoping swimming lessons would have been finished with by now, but... Covid (they are 8&10 in stages 4&5.)

In a way I think its too much.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 25/10/2021 08:32

I work late on Monday and Tuesday so DS is at wraparound club, too late to do anything but have tea and go to bed when we get home. Wednesdays we do homework, Thursday he goes to a hobby and Friday we have a movie/takeaway night. We don't do playdates on weekdays, I can't be arsed running around after work. We do them at weekends.

Yesthatscorrect · 25/10/2021 08:35

My kids go to various grandparents houses three nights a week after school so they can spend time with them and for childcare. They enjoy it and they get well looked after and fed.

One of the nights the youngest goes to Beavers. He also does a cookery class once a month on a Saturday. The eldest is secondary aged so does his own thing, playing football etc. Sadly his footie team disbanded and we can't for the life of us find him another one without travelling for miles.

We tend to meet up with my friends in the holidays and weekends who have similar aged kids. I enjoy this more than looking after other peoples kids on playdates.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 25/10/2021 08:36

Clubs Tues, Weds & Friday, nothing on a Monday or a Thursday - the very occasional play date but once a term maybe - think after they have been at school all day it is nice to have a couple of free evenings. Perfectly normal OP. My dd's sees her friends at after school clubs
We save our socialising for weekends.

Yesthatscorrect · 25/10/2021 08:37

Oh we are on a waiting list for swimming lessons for the youngest as our local pool is closed for long drawn out, years long repairs. I hope that we will be offered Saturday lessons for that.

LuchiMangsho · 25/10/2021 08:41

We both work so it’s a juggle. One has music three times a week after school. One has a gym class. We come home, snack, homework, play, music practice, more playing dinner, stories, bath and bed. We don’t have the time for play dates after school. Friday nights do sometimes involve pizza and a film. I leave them to it to play. Everyone needs to destress after school and DS2 definitely does because he’s so little.

LuchiMangsho · 25/10/2021 08:42

Swimming, more music (DS1), a sports class for DS2 and tennis for DS1 takes up the weekend mornings. We are done by lunch time on both weekends. This is not ideal. For a long time I kept the weekends absolutely free. But then the week was too long and we were struggling. After noon on both days of the weekend is family/chill time.

bizboz · 25/10/2021 08:49

I only have one left in primary now (Y4) as the other is Y7 but mine have always had a very busy after-school schedule. I think it's probably a bit much as I work full-time and they are in after-school club until at least 4.30 every day but the activities started when I was part-time and they don't want to give them up. Mondays- Wednesdays are Brownies (1.5 hours), swimming (30 minutes), dancing (2 hours). Then Thursdays/Fridays no activities but they sometimes have to stay later at after-school club unless DH can get out to pick them up. There is usually about 30-45 minutes homework per week and I try to fit in a 20 minute guitar practice as well. We never have playdates during the week only weekends or school holidays. Saturdays DC2 also does drama for 3 hours on a Saturday.

I did find that my Y7 wanted to drop almost all activities when she started secondary school.

onlysomany · 25/10/2021 08:55

Mon - childminders
Tues - swimming
Weds - childminders
Thurs - piano
Friday - chilling at home (usually on devices)
Sat - drama
Sun - rugby

onlysomany · 25/10/2021 08:55

I think the stuff in the week is fine for us, it's the weekend stuff that's a pain, it restricts our plans.

FlamingoYellow · 25/10/2021 08:56

Mine go to gymnastics on a Monday for an hour and the rest of the week we go to the park for 1-1.5 hrs, although that will probably end when they go back after half term as it will be crao weather and getting dark earlier. The eldest does need some physical activity after being sat down concentrating at school all day.

Snowdropsandbluebells · 25/10/2021 08:58

Mine are at the childminders so they play there.
Home for homework

Bit of TV or play

No clubs except football in the summer

Vix1977 · 25/10/2021 09:06

@Janeaustenaddict

We also have one or two playdates a term, the odd trip to the shops and/or library. Saturday both DC have swimming and dance classes so quite a hectic day.

What do you get up too? And if you do more fun stuff how do you fit homework/reading/spellings in etc?

Sounds like a lovely routine! Xx

furbabymama87 · 25/10/2021 09:07

Sometimes we go to a outdoor play area that's similar to a youth club but parents stay with the younger kids. We go about twice a week for an hour and a half after school. Sometimes we'll go to the park. One child does an after school club once a week. The other days we go straight home. The younger kids are tired if we try to cram in loads.

shouldistop · 25/10/2021 09:15

Sounds totally normal.

Ds1 is 5 and in p1.

Mondays - swimming lesson
Tuesday's - nothing planned
Wednesdays - athletics
Thursdays - nothing planned
Fridays - nothing planned

The days with nothing on it's either a bit of tv, playing with toys, doing homework, occasional play date, library trip, playing with his baby brother, helping me with chores, trip to the park if it's sunny and his friends are going.

I wouldn't want to be doing anymore than we are. Children need time to relax after being at school.

drspouse · 25/10/2021 09:25

I have a Y 3 and a Y5 who has SEN.
Monday DS has a babysitter and I take DD out somewhere and then to swimming. DS does some learning and then plays Lego or on his Wii.
Tues DD has karate straight after school then DH takes them both home and they play. DS has Cubs later.
Weds DS has babysitter as Mon, DD in after school club.
Thurs I pick up DS and he gets an outing or an activity with me, DD has after school club then Beavers.
Fri DS finishes early "because COVID" and then I pick up DD. DS did have swimming but nobody will teach him now "because he isn't safe" which to me IS THE WHOLE POINT but we are trying to work out what to do about that.
DD also has football on Sat.
If they have play dates DD is usually weekend/holidays and DS currently is working up to weekend playdates at home (he's managed the cinema with a friend but he struggles a lot with people in his space).

Original poster

Janeaustenaddict · 25/10/2021 10:56

Really interesting to see what everyone gets up to after school. Some of you are so busy!
I do feel reassured though from what people have said that we have the balance about right for us 😀

OP posts:

WhitechapelFatberg · 25/10/2021 11:03

Afterschool club 3 days/week. The other two days I let mine bum around. They need downtime. Nice to have the free time for playdates as well, which happen every 2-3 weeks.

sarkyone · 25/10/2021 11:04

Mine is a nightmare
Mon - child 1 - martial arts and cadets (6-9.30) (child 2 has playdate alternate weeks as split from friends this year)
Tues - child 2 football (5-6), child 1 martial arts (6-8)
Weds - child 2 football (6-7)
Thurs - child 1 cadets (7-9.30), child 2 swimming (6.30-7)
Fri - child 1 football (5-6) child 2 football (8-9)
Sat - child 2 football (10-12), child 1 martial arts (9-11)
Sun - child 1 football (anytime between 9 and 3 for around 2 hours)

The only thing keeping me going is they are both active so should be healthier than me

sarkyone · 25/10/2021 11:06

@sarkyone

Mine is a nightmare Mon - child 1 - martial arts and cadets (6-9.30) (child 2 has playdate alternate weeks as split from friends this year) Tues - child 2 football (5-6), child 1 martial arts (6-8) Weds - child 2 football (6-7) Thurs - child 1 cadets (7-9.30), child 2 swimming (6.30-7) Fri - child 1 football (5-6) child 2 football (8-9) Sat - child 2 football (10-12), child 1 martial arts (9-11) Sun - child 1 football (anytime between 9 and 3 for around 2 hours)

The only thing keeping me going is they are both active so should be healthier than me

Oh and this doesn't include child 1 - after school activities at high school T/W/T 2.40-3.30 child 2 - after school activities M/T 3.15-4

Pinetreesfall · 25/10/2021 11:28

@OnceuponaRainbow18

I was wondering the same thing! I do most of them but it's not until 5.30pm usually.
I guess if people finish work at 3pm or earlier maybe it's possible. It seems you and I are in the minority. What are we doing wrong

BetsyBigNose · 25/10/2021 11:34

My kids are a bit older than yours, but they are both very different when it comes to after school activities. DD1 is 14 and incredibly sociable, she has Rangers on a Monday, rehearsals for the school play on Tuesday, Wednesday evening is for homework, Thursday she goes to a LGBTQ+ Youth Club, Friday night is 'Family Night' (where we watch a movie and hang out together), Saturday she's at her Drama Club and Sunday is seeing friends and homework.

DD2 is 12 and she occasionally goes to netball club after school on a Tuesday, but other than that, she's home by 3:30pm and usually in her comfies/PJs by 4! She'll sometimes go for/have a sleepover or go into town with a friend at the weekend, but she's never happier than when she's at home with me - which I'll enjoy as long as it continues!

Your after school activities sound perfectly normal OP, but all children are different and need different levels of activity or entrtainment.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 25/10/2021 12:19

@Pinetreesfall

I’m too busy running after school clubs for other people’s kids 😂😂😂

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