How do you share expenses for a child with disabilities when divorced ?

[leadinmypencil]

How does it work?
Maintenance of £300 per month from Dad and then a split of extras such as therapies/ presents.
Mum receives many benefits from authorities, not in England.
These benefits amount to £800/ month plus free electric/household benefit/ transport.
Genuinely asking how it works.Do the benefits matter when it comes to
Maintenance.mum doesn't work as she says she must be available to child and claims carers benefit.Child at school 8.30-4.00. Mild Asd. Dad has child eow and two evenings per week.

Could mum claim DLA for the child snd use that to pay for therapies etc?

No one gets free electricity for a disabled child

Mum claims the equivalent of that but dad also pays for half of all therapies

This family is not in England. The electric is part of household package afforded to 'carers'.

@Theunamedcat

No one gets free electricity for a disabled child

They're not in England

I’m guessing you’re step mum…

Fwiw I have a disabled child and I wouldn’t expect child’s dad to pay half towards therapies if already paying maintenance. That’s what the disability benefits are for.

This very much has the tone that you are dad’s girlfriend?

If it’s a “genuine question” then why not ask him? He can answer for you legally what is counted and not (we only know that you’re “not England”) so no-one can advise. He can also answer for you morally as he’s the one with all the nuanced history of their life decisions on everyone’s current finances.

Do you mean it to sound like you think mum’s getting lots of money from the state to pay for treatments, so why is dad having to pay half?

Fwiw I'm not stepmum but in discussion with one of the family, I
was trying to figure out how division of expenses works when I may have to go this route soon.

@danni0509

I’m guessing you’re step mum…

I’d say interfering girlfriend, not step mum.

If Dad can afford to do what he is doing then it sounds like a good arrangement.
Is he struggling financially?

@leadinmypencil

Fwiw I'm not stepmum but in discussion with one of the family, I was trying to figure out how division of expenses works when I may have to go this route soon.

Then I apologise to you, as it really did sound like new girlfriend stuff to me! Not sure why all the numbers detail and no mention of your own situation being relevant.

What the mum gets in benefits has nothing to do with the dads maintenance. The benefits are awarded for the child and their carer due to their disability. The dad does not get to refuse any responsibility for the child just because mum gets help from the government. The dads maintenance should be awarded on its own merit, generally a certain percentage of any wages he earns

I always find it strange when parents are actively trying to contribute less to the upkeep of their child.

Wrong again@Cocomarine.
See my pp. I will be applying
For divorce soon and
Find myself in this position. I simply wanted to ask what is fair and expected in this set
Of circumstances if any poster has experience.
This family is the only one I know in this position.

You’re clearly trying to work out how Disney Dad can pay less money.

Don your hard hat @leadinmypencil

@Winniemarysarah , thanks. This is what I need to know.
I thought that all benefits would be included to decide on child's expenses and then parents would split.
Is it usual then for extra contributions expected for therapies from
The NRP?

Well any therapy or other expenses i pay out of the dla. If things cost more than that it would be nice if ds4s dad paid towards them but as my ds' dad doesn't even pay maintenance is have no chance of that.

@BigYellowHat

You’re clearly trying to work out how Disney Dad can pay less money.

Don your hard hat @leadinmypencil

Exactly what I thought @BigYellowHat though you can see I already apologised for that when I saw OP posted more.

@leadinmypencil it’s a very odd way to write a post. What matters are your details, not someone else’s.

Are you suggesting mum gets less because child is disabled so doesn’t need maintenance at the level given due to benefits?

If the child wasn’t Disabled the house hold budget would be much higher if a parent can work, they would also be able make plans for the future and be able become more self sufficient something that if mum is a carer for rest of her life she can’t do.

Mum takes the hint by being full on carer and all financial hit to income and future pension and life choices. The absent parent can take some of the hit if they can contribute financial but that depends on your income. Rather than the mum can get away with.

I think that if a nrp can afford to pay half for therapy as well as paying maintenance they should. Not everyone would be able to do that though

It’s impossible to advise it’s specific to circumstances and probably best asking people with experience in your own country. Plus it depends on disability. If child can’t access local school or holiday childcare clubs that has a huge impact. Same if child is needing multiple medical appointments. Dad will be doing no medical or therapy appointments if he’s not having child week days.

@Akire I'm not suggesting that at all.I need to know what to expect in my own situation and this family's set up is the only
one I know of.

If the therapy benefits child and is not available as part of govt provided healthcare then yes split cost seems appropriate. Maintenance is for basic child care - food, clothes etc. So cost of therapy isn’t in maintenance.

Child will be attending school full time, no medical appointments outside of usual seasonal GP visit.
I work full time. There is no reason not
To for me , as my child is mild asd with no medical appointments needed. Child in other family is the same.