How do you share expenses for a child with disabilities when divorced ?

[leadinmypencil]

How does it work?
Maintenance of £300 per month from Dad and then a split of extras such as therapies/ presents.
Mum receives many benefits from authorities, not in England.
These benefits amount to £800/ month plus free electric/household benefit/ transport.
Genuinely asking how it works.Do the benefits matter when it comes to
Maintenance.mum doesn't work as she says she must be available to child and claims carers benefit.Child at school 8.30-4.00. Mild Asd. Dad has child eow and two evenings per week.

@Dixiechickonhols thanks.
This is what the original question meant. If RP gets benefits to a high value including equivalent of DLA, does NRP contribute to private therapies?

My daughter receives £453 per 4 weeks DLA. Any Therapies rightly come out of that.

I get ,£236 matinence from ex for two DC. I wouldn't then ask him to cover half of Therapies unless he had half the DLA

I also don't work because of my child's disabilities but I am not exactly struggling.

So it's a personal choice whether to ask NRP then? And a personal
Choice whether to contribute to therapies if RP in receipt of DLA, is that right?

Why wouldn’t the NRP help pay for private therapies? Maintenance covers day to day, but a child with additional needs often costs more then their peers.
I work full time with a child on the spectrum. Very bright at school etc however extra costs I had this year was a laptop for him because the handwriting is going nowhere. Where we live you can get a government grant for a laptop for a secondary school pupil, but not primary.

As far as I know, any disabilities are not taken into account at all in the British system. Child maintenance is calculated as a percentage of the NRPs income taking into account the number of children they have to maintain. But you aren't in the UK you say so that information is pretty much irrelevant. You need to ask on a forum based in your own country.

Benefits received (or mum’s wages) don’t affect maintenance, which is calculated based on dad’s income, how many nights dc stays, and any resident children (based on dad being NRP). There’s no law that NRP pays extra towards therapy, but if they can afford it and it benefits the dc, then there’s maybe a moral imperative there.
That said, I’m in the UK, and obviously can’t speak for other countries.

@leadinmypencil the only obligation NRP has is the CMS calculated amount.

Morally though I would look at what child NEEDS and if costs are reasonable contribute what I can. There is also no thing as mild autism.

One of my teens has asd with other issues.

The only thing my exh pays is maintenence.

Hope that helps.

Since you mention the electricity package, I assume you're in Ireland. So I'm basing this on that assumption.

If maintenance can't be agreed between the parents, it needs to go to court for the judge to decide. If there are additional needs that require therapies etc, evidence of that needs to be included in the court documents, and the judge may decide to increase the maintenance accordingly, or add to the order that other expenses should be split as far as I know.

I know someone who went through the Irish system and was told that as she couldn't provide any evidence that the appointments were necessary, and not just something that she wanted to do for her dc, then dad would not be splitting the cost. Although, she got herself into a bit of a pickle with schools - tried to claim the child had severe asd, as well as other additional needs, then got into a whole situation as she had described the child as so extreme that the child was supposed to go to special needs school, and mum had to quickly backpedal so the child would go to mainstream school, which was also outlined to the court.

Also, just so you're aware, and still assuming that your in Ireland, dca may be payable for children with asd, so it could be worth applying for that too.

I think it depends of DLA covers the cost completely?

@leadinmypencil

How does it work? Maintenance of £300 per month from Dad and then a split of extras such as therapies/ presents. Mum receives many benefits from authorities, not in England. These benefits amount to £800/ month plus free electric/household benefit/ transport. Genuinely asking how it works.Do the benefits matter when it comes to Maintenance.mum doesn't work as she says she must be available to child and claims carers benefit.Child at school 8.30-4.00. Mild Asd. Dad has child eow and two evenings per week.

How do you get free electric? What's house hold benefit ? And free transport ? I have a severely autistic child,he gets DLA at the top rates ,and we do have a mobility car ,because he meets the criteria under the severe mental impairment category .

@Ffs2020 thanks.
The disabilities package is quite generous but Inwill continue to work full time as my child has had any intervention available to date ,has mild ASD and attends mainstream education. Amy days off needed for the odd appointment I take as special unpaid leave.
So it seems that if a judge seems to appropriate, he/ she may decide that NRP contributes to cost of prescribed therapies but not therapies that I may deem beneficial ?
I couldn't see in conscience how it would be fair to ask my stbex to contribute anything more than agreed maintenance when I receive DCA/ respite care grant and medical card. I don't received ve household or carers or
Transport card as I choose to work.
As for the person you know, I cannot stand people taking the piss when it
Comes to fleecing the system or indeed anybody in the name
Of children with disabilities.

@leadinmypencil, yeah as far as I'm aware it's basically up to the judge. I'm also not sure how much the back pedalling weighed into the judge's decision, but I'd guess it would have to have played some part. She was a friend of a friend type of acquaintance, and my friend doesn't see her anymore. At the time I was jumping through the hoops for an Irish exemption for one of my dc, so I found it quite frustrating, and I don't think it helps the child. If anything it prevents them from reaching their full potential, and challenging themselves appropriately.

If you do end up needing the court route, the same applies to things like school uniform. It can be specifically written into the order that costs are split, but might not be automatically.

You may be able to get legal aid, or a portion of legal aid based on the medical card.

I have engaged a solicitor but I find it helps more when people have experience of real life.
I am a member of a forum here and while there is little about the realities of the financial impact of separation when a couple has a child with sn, there are hundreds of posts about how to fleece the system financially.
That's not my interest here. I only
Know of one couple whose financial situation is similar to ours which is why I referenced them in my
Op.

It’s impossible to answer without knowing level
of DLA equivalent in foreign country and child’s needs. It child needs extra clothing, special equipment, extra heating or generates more washing (continence) or travel to multiple appointments miles away then the ‘DLA’ money could be all used up before they have even started to pay for hobbies or therapies that would help.

No point whatsoever asking for legal advice if you don't disclose which country you're in. "Not England" is not helpful as it could be literally any other country, although we can assume an English-speaking one.

Obviously benefit systems and divorce laws vary between countries.

Yes its personal choice if you pay towards your disabled child's therapy

In England however I cannot speak for other countries in America for example one parent would need to maintain insurance for the children pursuant to the child support order

So try mentioning the country and people might know for sure otherwise they are just guessing

Can the NRP claim tax rebates or relief if they pay half?

Sorry. It's Ireland.

Disablity allowance in Ireland is far lower than the U.K. you can’t pay for therapies on €38 a week. And it’s not free electricity it’s €35 a month.

DCA / rcg works out at approxe110 per week plus medical card and then household Package plus travel if on carers

Plus not every child needs therapies in my experience. Not at the pre teen/ teen age . Many do however Amd I'm
Sore that that money would go a long way to provide two weekly private therapies if so needed. Eg SLT and OT, weekly for 52 weeks.I've never known a child in
Receipt of two therapies per
Week for a full 52 week year, however I'm sure a minority do.

Weird post

I guess it depends on how the child maintenance is worked out in the country you're in.

In the U.K. CM is a percentage of the NRP wage based on living costs. The more they earn the higher the payments which are then adjusted for the number of overnights they have the child and any other children.

The RP then receives all benefits for the disability.

Therefore it would be assumed that the NRP wouldn't have the disposable income to pay half the therapies on top when the RP receives the benefits to help it for this.

The realism is slightly different because the dla often isn't extra as parents can't work etc.

And I say this as LP with a disabled ds and no CM payments!