To ask how often your primary school aged children see friends outside of school

[Blended87]

Just curious as to what is normal. My Y4 son plays football twice a week and so sees a few school friends doing that. Then maybe once a month we will arrange a soft play date with a friend of his. My Y1 daughter probably sees a friend at least once a half term/school holiday. I work full time so try to keep weekends for family time but I'm aware they need to socialise especially my y4 son.

We're lucky to live in a small village with friends nearby so my primary child spends a lot of time after school or at weekends knocking about with friends, they are constantly in and out of each others houses and gardens or the park. Plus Cubs, rugby, karate etc. My oldest was like that too and it has developed into a lovely bunch of teenagers regularly turning up. I've got 5 or 6 of them in the basement at the moment and had 4 of them I think on Friday playing D&D.

Not including sports practice I try and make sure they see a friend outside of school most weeks. Sometimes a friend over for a play and dinner after school, sometimes an outing at the weekend and sometimes for sleep overs. I’ll try to arrange more over the holidays if we aren’t away. But I only work part time and my husband mostly works from home so we get plenty of family time as it is.

My YR3 DS normally has 2 play dates a week with a school friend, then does swimming, beavers and children’s church which includes a few school friends but mostly other children from the village.

Never. We live in a village about 15 mins drive from school - the kids do clubs etc but not in the town where the school is. They don’t seem bothered as socialise with the children at the clubs they attend. We work full time too and not sure where we’d fit in seeing them really.

Playdate after school about once a week

Occasionally have a school family over at the weekend

School holidays they often do holiday clubs so see kids there, if we’re lucky or I am organised the attendees will include some of their school mates

maybe 2-3 times per half term, usually someone round for tea after school. between work and everyone's Sat/Sun activities that feels like plenty.

My dc play out most days with friends on the street. Some are kids from their school and others are from other local schools.

They don’t

Maybe once a term play date.

Weekend is family time and activities

We are in London, mine is in year 6 they walk back from school together and usually stop at someone’s house. I get a message from parent but not allowed to be out after 4:30pm.

Year 1. Probably 1 play date per holiday. Nothing in term time but does after school activities 3 times a week with other kids. I feel exhausted at the thought of weekly play dates when she is older.

1 play date a week. Usually a party or group play date at the weekend. Y4

Oh and 2 nights a week she does a club

Most weekends, I don’t need to keep the weekends as “family time”- I can easily fit in a 2hr play date in an 12 hour day and not feel like my husband or I have missed out on time.

Used to be once a week, when it required me to set up a friend coming round to play/for tea.

They are older now, and arrange their own social lives at the weekends.

TBH, if you want them to have secure friendships, and your full time job means no after school socialising, you can’t say weekends are family time.

@HelloDulling

Used to be once a week, when it required me to set up a friend coming round to play/for tea.

They are older now, and arrange their own social lives at the weekends.

TBH, if you want them to have secure friendships, and your full time job means no after school socialising, you can’t say weekends are family time.

Fully agree with you. Trying to find a balance is si hard. I thought the amount they saw their friends after school was average but I can see now that a few people have much more "playdates". Going tk be more pro active on arranging stuff on weekends.

DS1 is in year 1, he has a playdate once every week or two with a neighbour in his class
Sees lots of kids from school at church every week (they go downstairs for colouring and stories)
Occasionally does junior park run where he sees kids from his class/school.
All class birthday party around once a month.

What happened to just going out to play?

Some people live on main roads, no kids play out where I live it’s a main road in London

@eddiemairswife

What happened to just going out to play?

We live on a busy bus route, and my children don’t have any friends within walking distance anyway. When I was a child, we lived rurally, so I never went out to play either. Had friends round to play instead. Is that really so unusual?

Year 1. Constantly. We are surrounded by them

His bestie is next door, and other bestie at the top of the road. They are constantly in and out of each others gardens and homes. It's mainly a positive thing.

Nearly every day as she's goes out to play with them after school.

Yr. 4 has one a week. Reception child has one ever other week and 2 over half term

Mine was with a childminder that her friends went to as well so she socialised every day out of school. Outside of that at least 1-2 days a week she'd have a friend for tea or go to the friend's then at the weekend we'd usually do an activity and take a friend as she was an only child

At least 2 9r 3 times a week. I don't buy into this weekends are family time stuff, the kids are part of the family and should get to do some stuff just for them as well, like playdates. It doesn't prevent us doing activities , adult hobbies etc. We don't function well all together 24/7, we're all must happier with a balance of togetherness and independence.