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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suspect autism in my 15 month old?

76 replies

sconenotscon · 24/10/2021 17:04

Hi all

My 15 month old very rarely makes eye contact no matter how much we try to interact. His health visitor has said this is a concern, and now I am really anxious he may be autistic. There is autism in the family.

When we read him books he may glance at us once or twice and smile but that's about it. He doesn't answer to his name, he doesn't point clap or wave. He looks past us at his toys or the TV. If we sit in front of him he will actively turn his head to look around us.

He does laugh and smile at the TV and at us sometimes when we play with/tickle him.

I may be grasping at straws here but could this just be slow development instead of autism?

OP posts:
Original poster
sconenotscon · 06/11/2021 19:26

@Somethingsnappy

I think it is a very common misconception OP. That aside, try to let the anxiety go (easier said than done, I know). As a PP said, an ASD diagnosis doesn't always (or even often) need to be something to worry about. Autism is a spectrum and presents differently in every individual. I know adults and children with ASD and many are some of the most interesting and wonderful people I know. My primary-aged nephew is on the spectrum and is exceptionally bright, talented, sweet, kind and affectionate. He is incredibly empathetic (lack of empathy is another common misconception) and often plays the peacemaker with my rabble of 4 noisy kids when arguments erupt.

Your baby may or may not turn out to be on the spectrum, but I just wanted to try to help you rationalise your worries a little.

Thank you for your reply. This is great to hear and has helped put my mind at ease Smile

I must admit I have been thinking the worst but then again I have always been a worrier x

OP posts:
RAFHercules · 06/11/2021 19:34

I always suspected my first DS was autistic (almost totally non verbal until 3 and in his own world half the time) however he surprised us all by "switching on" at around 5. He's at uni now.
By comparison my DD was very bright, very talkative, very quick at everything but so stroppy and argumentative. She was diagnosed with autism at 17! She's spent her whole life masking.
The diagnosis was am absolute blessing for us all, I'm ashamed that I didn't spot it but now that we all know, things are handled much better and we cut her some slack.

takenforgrantednana · 06/11/2021 19:40

@sconenotscon

Hi all

My 15 month old very rarely makes eye contact no matter how much we try to interact. His health visitor has said this is a concern, and now I am really anxious he may be autistic. There is autism in the family.

When we read him books he may glance at us once or twice and smile but that's about it. He doesn't answer to his name, he doesn't point clap or wave. He looks past us at his toys or the TV. If we sit in front of him he will actively turn his head to look around us.

He does laugh and smile at the TV and at us sometimes when we play with/tickle him.

I may be grasping at straws here but could this just be slow development instead of autism?

sounds pretty normal to me,
Lovingmylife · 06/11/2021 19:49

Could you check his hearing? My friend found out her daughter was deaf around this age with similar symptoms.

toconclude · 06/11/2021 20:16

@sconenotscon

I was always told a child with autism will make no eye contact at all, ever (this came from a GP, not about my child) but is it really that black and white?
No, it isn't accurate. In my experience GPS know very little about autism, I spent years educating all the docs and nurses in my local practice.
Marypoppins786 · 26/12/2021 23:32

@sconenotscon

Hi all

My 15 month old very rarely makes eye contact no matter how much we try to interact. His health visitor has said this is a concern, and now I am really anxious he may be autistic. There is autism in the family.

When we read him books he may glance at us once or twice and smile but that's about it. He doesn't answer to his name, he doesn't point clap or wave. He looks past us at his toys or the TV. If we sit in front of him he will actively turn his head to look around us.

He does laugh and smile at the TV and at us sometimes when we play with/tickle him.

I may be grasping at straws here but could this just be slow development instead of autism?

My ds who is 3 years old did the same things. It turns out he has Clear concerns of Autism. His currently on speech and language therapy and his eye contact has improved so much.

At first our health visitor said we need to wait for him to reach certain milestones and encourage him. We tried but no use. After that she referred us for someone to assess him and the paediatricians. The wait was long they said it will take 9- 12 months due to covid. Luckily they got back to us 5 months early. Now we are waiting for the paediatrician to diagnose him.

Please don’t ignore your motherly instincts because ONLY YOU know your child more that anyone and if anything concerns you speak to the health professions.

Cluelessmum5 · 27/07/2022 14:29

Hi @sconenotscon just wondering if you have an update? The original post could have been written about my own son it's uncanny. Desperately worried

x2boys · 27/07/2022 14:34

sconenotscon · 24/10/2021 17:09

@CocaColaTruck1

Either. 15 month is very young to know anything tbh. Does he socialise with other babies? Nursery?
He goes to a childminder 2 days a week but seems to do his own thing rather than play with others

Most 15 months old play by them selves at that age and tend not not to be interested in other children
My son has severe autism and learning and learning disabilities, honest 15 months is very young, if there us something it will become more apparent in the next few months.

x2boys · 27/07/2022 14:35

Oh I should have looked at the date .

Goldencarp · 27/07/2022 15:01

My son is now 23 now but I raised concerns with the GP at 14 months and he started assessments at 16 months. He was diagnosed just before 3 with autism. He’s definitely not too young.

my neighbour and i had our boys at the same time and from as early as 11/12 months i could sense my son was different. By the age of 18 months it was very obvious he was autistic. No eye contact, no speech, no pointing, he was very “good”, we barely knew we had him. He had no understanding, didn’t react to his name being called, didn’t play, made no demands on us at all.

Goldencarp · 27/07/2022 15:05

CocaColaTruck1 · 24/10/2021 17:09

Either.
15 month is very young to know anything tbh.
Does he socialise with other babies? Nursery?

It’s definitely not. My son was not even a year when I started to notice things. He was diagnosed before he was 3. He’s an adult now and I’ve met many many parents who knew very early on that something was going on.

Goldencarp · 27/07/2022 15:06

whoops just seen the date too.🤦‍♀️

Original poster
sconenotscon · 27/07/2022 15:51

Hi @Cluelessmum5

I know just how you feel and I'm sorry you're so worried :(

A little update for you, my son turned 2 last week. He's a very happy, smiley little man and we got him a nursery place in April to help with his socialisation and he really enjoys his sessions there (after the initial tantrum at drop off!)

His eye contact improved massively at about 18 months with people he knows well and is comfortable around. He still isn't speaking but we have plenty of babbling and I'm sure the words are in there and will come out when he is ready. He isn't really interested in playing with other children but is happy to play alongside them and really loves trips to the soft play.
The nursery staff and the paediatrician who carried out his hearing and sight tests believe he is autistic because as the months went on he started showing every sign, so today they made a referral for an official assessment. Knowing him as well as I do and having had a child before, there is no doubt in my mind that he will be diagnosed.

But that said, now that I'm looking back I honestly regret all the hours I wasted worrying and stressing. He is very happy, healthy and very very loved. He's thriving in his own way despite being 'behind' on the checklist the health visitor hands out. It did take a while and honestly I felt like the bottom had fallen out of my world when health professionals started to confirm my fears, but I now believe that whatever he is or has, he will be just fine

Please please feel free to message me at anytime if you'd like to chat. Best of luck to you and the little one xxx

OP posts:
Feefio · 27/07/2022 15:56

@sconenotscon

My DS is autistic and he showed no signs, absolutely none, other than being very intelligent. He hit all of his milestones, spoke early, walked on time, potty trained fine, makes eye contact, has a variety of interests. There can be early indicators, for sure, but it's not a given. I never would have guessed at 15 months old. Even now, aged 7, he has no classic or stereotypical signs of autism.

Original poster
sconenotscon · 27/07/2022 15:57

Just wanted to add that his hearing and sight tests came back fine. He still doesn't point or wave but he claps when we do or when something funny happens on Hey Duggee! 😄

OP posts:
CaptainBeakyandhisband · 27/07/2022 16:01

We are like @Feefio here. Autistic child but no real ‘signs’ beyond being a generally cranky baby and quite close to me as a young child. His eye contact is great (but is on his terms although most people probably wouldn’t notice that). He met every milestone ahead of time. I think this myth that all autistic children will have issues with eye contact can be really damaging to be honest!

Original poster
sconenotscon · 27/07/2022 16:16

@CaptainBeakyandhisband just out of curiosity what made you think he may be autistic if he didn't show the classic signs?

OP posts:
easyday · 27/07/2022 16:20

My niece is autistic and her mum suspected something was off before she was one. Super affectionate, loads of eye contact. But she did the arm waving thing, was non verbal, did not mimic and couldn't swallow food. She liked quite a bit of stimulation and colours etc, which again is against 'classic' autistic traits.
She was diagnosed at two and is 12 now and goes to a specialist school. Sadly it is very unlikely she will ever live independently, but she is happy within herself. Adolescence is proving challenging.

Feefio · 27/07/2022 16:23

@CaptainBeakyandhisband It's so interesting. My DS was a dream baby, rarely ever cranky, only cried when he wanted a bottle / food / nappy change. Very happy to go to and interact with other people too. Even to this day he is extremely chilled out, happy to be babysat and be flexible, staying overnight with other people and being spontaneous.

CaptainBeakyandhisband · 27/07/2022 16:26

@sconenotscon i didn’t! His diagnosis was a massive shock to me and was sort of accidental on the way to understanding something else about him. But I think my point is that I don’t believe there are ‘classic’ signs. There are traits that can be normal among the human population but that tend to be seen more frequently together in autistic people, but there is no definitive way of saying ‘yes that child is autistic’

Feefio · 27/07/2022 16:30

@CaptainBeakyandhisband I completely second this! My DS definitely has some social communication difficulties, but very little in the way of other autism signs.

Shakeitshakeitbaby · 27/07/2022 16:41

Sounds exactly like my son at that age. Diagnosed at 2.5. There is a test online called m-chat that gives you a fairly good idea of likelihood of autism in toddlers. When I did it for ds he came up as high risk.

Cluelessmum5 · 27/07/2022 17:51

Thanks so much for all these replies, especially @sconenotscon I'm so pleased your little one is doing well. I just waiver every day on this. My lad is sociable, plays games with his siblings, responds to his name, points, waves and claps, all a bit later than I'd have hoped but nevertheless, plus he has really exceptional motor skills, particularly fine motor. On the other hand he is still only babbling, has temper tantrums and his eye contact is inconsistent (has been described as a bit 'vacant' by a family member). So I guess I'd say some boxes very much ticked, others not. Just feel really quite deflated and tired of the endless examining and ruminating. I may take you up on your offer to message @sconenotscon you sound like such a lovely mum xxx

HalfSiblingsMadeContact · 27/07/2022 17:54

My almost-certainly-autistic teenage DS is currently playing Bach and Brahms on the piano (while watching engineering videos); I had his hearing tested numerous times through childhood due to his behaviour patterns; eventually they explained to me (possibly more than once ...) that his hearing was if anything better than normal but they see children "switch off" in that situation to cope. Was pretty chilled as a baby, and we've been very lucky with his schooling and he is not only comfortable in his own skin but chilled and happy to get along with anyone.

His older sister was diagnosed in her teens; was a "high needs" baby looking back and hasn't had as easy a run friendship-wise as her brother. But she's currently diving into her university reading list and looking forward to starting. I have asked her to make contact with student support as I think they have a group for ASD students that might help her settle in - but I don't expect she'll need that support for more than the first term.

Keep enjoying your children, seek help and support where you and they need it, and develop their abilities wherever you find them.

Cluelessmum5 · 27/07/2022 18:01

What a lovely message @HalfSiblingsMadeContact i will take your advice x