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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suspect autism in my 15 month old?

76 replies

sconenotscon · 24/10/2021 17:04

Hi all

My 15 month old very rarely makes eye contact no matter how much we try to interact. His health visitor has said this is a concern, and now I am really anxious he may be autistic. There is autism in the family.

When we read him books he may glance at us once or twice and smile but that's about it. He doesn't answer to his name, he doesn't point clap or wave. He looks past us at his toys or the TV. If we sit in front of him he will actively turn his head to look around us.

He does laugh and smile at the TV and at us sometimes when we play with/tickle him.

I may be grasping at straws here but could this just be slow development instead of autism?

OP posts:
CocaColaTruck1 · 24/10/2021 17:41

Write everything down, ask for HV to come back out.
Ask for a referral, I'm still waiting 10 months later for ours to come through so get it in place.
You can ask HV about portage too. (They come to your house every few weeks and play with your DC, helping them develop skills etc) excellent service.

Treezees · 24/10/2021 17:46

Get referral, speak to I CAN (The Communication Trust) as they were very helpful to me.

The wait for Autism assessment is currently at least 2 years on NHS so good to get in that queue and work on social skills as pp has said. You have nothing to lose by getting on all the lists. :)

CailleachO · 24/10/2021 17:51

A baby that has stopped babbling is enough for a referral. They will not find something that isn't there. I'd be pushing everyone, gp, health visitor etc for a referral. He also needs his hearing checked.

Violinist64 · 24/10/2021 17:51

@sconenotscon

I was always told a child with autism will make no eye contact at all, ever (this came from a GP, not about my child) but is it really that black and white?
It is not black and white. My son has always had very good eye contact to the point where he would stare you out and make you look away due to being uncomfortable yourself. As he grew older we realised that his sideways glances were his way of avoiding eye contact. Both of these are common in autistic people. I think it is a case that autistic people have unusual/odd eye contact rather than a blanket no eye contact. I think I would be asking for advice based on what you have told us. There are already areas of concern, particularly with having other members of the family with autism. I hope that it is not autism but if it is, catching it at a young age gives you opportunities for early intervention.
Original poster
sconenotscon · 24/10/2021 17:55

Thank you everyone for your replies. You have all been so helpful Thanks

I will speak to the health visitor again and push for a referral. Some posters mentioned that I should be trying to develop his social skills while I'm waiting, how would I do this? Any tips?

OP posts:
MistyFrequencies · 24/10/2021 18:01

There's a book called Hanen More Than Words that really helped me understand my son and develop his communication. My son is Autistic but whether yours is or isn't, this book will help you identify where he is currently at with his communication and what you need to do to help move him forward. Highly recommend.

Merryoldgoat · 24/10/2021 18:07

@sconenotscon

I was always told a child with autism will make no eye contact at all, ever (this came from a GP, not about my child) but is it really that black and white?
I have two autistic children who both make eye contact with me.
diamondpony80 · 24/10/2021 18:15

Sounds exactly like my DD at that age. Except that she has always made eye contact with her immediate family (but no one outside the family). We always suspected autism but she wasn't assessed and given a diagnosis until she was 4 or 5.

She did get referred for speech therapy, occupational therapy and physio long before her actual diagnosis though so she got help very early on and now at the age of 7 is making great progress.

That's not to say that your child will be autistic, but you should definitely get a referral. Our health visitor had similar concerns and she was the one who got the ball rolling with the referrals.

CocaColaTruck1 · 24/10/2021 18:48

@sconenotscon

Thank you everyone for your replies. You have all been so helpful Thanks

I will speak to the health visitor again and push for a referral. Some posters mentioned that I should be trying to develop his social skills while I'm waiting, how would I do this? Any tips?

if you Google asq 15month it'll show different the different sections and it'll give you an idea what to do. Eg; stacking blocks
HikingforScenery · 24/10/2021 21:45

@sconenotscon

Thank you everyone for your replies. You have all been so helpful Thanks

I will speak to the health visitor again and push for a referral. Some posters mentioned that I should be trying to develop his social skills while I'm waiting, how would I do this? Any tips?

Intensive interaction is really goo. You follow your DC’s lead and you can start that straightway. You’ll be doing it naturally already, you’ll just do it more ‘consciously’ now
endingintiers · 24/10/2021 22:24

Mine is autistic but always been good at eye contact. I suspected he was autistic at about 18 months because he would line up all his toy cars instead of play with them. Every time, in a neat row. I thought little more of it but when he reached primary school he started having violent meltdowns and 15 months later was diagnosed. So it is probably too early to tell but equally that doesn't mean your suspicions are wrong.

DixonD · 25/10/2021 00:11

@CocaColaTruck1

Either. 15 month is very young to know anything tbh. Does he socialise with other babies? Nursery?
Maybe. But we knew with our niece before she was a year old.

Not responding to name, and no eye contact were two of her biggest symptoms, amongst other things. She was diagnosed at 2.

Monday55 · 25/10/2021 00:21

Not sure if this has been mentioned but you can also take them to the GP so they can check for excess earwax.

A friends kid had it in his ears and once they got it out he started responding.

SnarkyBag · 25/10/2021 00:26

More than words is a great book also take a look at Floortime. There’s a two day course for parents which is very good IME

BlackeyedSusan · 25/10/2021 01:37

@sconenotscon

I was always told a child with autism will make no eye contact at all, ever (this came from a GP, not about my child) but is it really that black and white?
bull shit.

two autistic children and can make eyecontact. (their's is better than mine)

Libelula21 · 25/10/2021 01:42

Could the fact he is a lockdown baby have had any impact, I wonder?

Original poster
sconenotscon · 25/10/2021 02:08

@Libelula21

Could the fact he is a lockdown baby have had any impact, I wonder?
My DH has suggested this. He never went to baby groups and has only been going to a childminder for a couple of months. She thinks he is fine and there's no cause for concern...
OP posts:
Kanaloa · 25/10/2021 02:34

My son is autistic and there has never been any problem with eye contact. He was actually a bit of a glarer as a baby. I did know something was ‘different’ when he was small though, my older two were chatty by 1 and a half whereas he said nothing, even sort of babbling he wasn’t interested. Had his hearing checked multiple times but nothing the matter.

Would worry about the gp telling you no autistic children will ever make eye contact - it sounds like they really don’t know much/anything about autism. In my experience of the children I’ve met it presents differently in every child.

I will say it sounds like you have a healthy and happy little boy - he laughs when you play with him, likes watching telly, and listening to story books. That’s what you should focus on, while being aware of his developmental milestones. Autism isn’t a death sentence, my son is doing well despite his difficulties. If you are concerned definitely mention it to your hv but don’t expect a diagnosis or anything quickly - my son didn’t get one until almost reception despite it being plainly obvious to anyone who spent more than five seconds with him.

MinimumChips · 25/10/2021 02:49

I agree it’s not too early to ask for a referral, especially given he may have lost some skills. It may be autism, in which case early diagnosis can be a huge help, or it may not.

My ds is autistic, diagnosed at 4, but signs were there from 10 months. He really benefited so much from early intervention (occupational therapy and speech therapy groups) that began way before his diagnosis, so my view is it’s never too soon to seek help.

Original poster
sconenotscon · 25/10/2021 12:49

Thank you everyone for your replies

I called the health visitor today and managed to have a chat with a nursery nurse who works closely with autistic children. She asked lots of questions and gave me lots of advice. The good news is she isn't concerned at this point, a lot of his behaviour can be typical of a child with delayed development that isn't necessarily autism. but we will have a targeted review at 18 months where someone will come to the house and meet my son and if there are any concerns they will make a referral

I am turning the TV off and dedicating lots of time to playing with him and teaching him some language. I'm not sure if this is the end of the road for us (even though I'm super relieved for now!)

OP posts:
IWentAwayIStayedAway · 25/10/2021 12:54

I would mirror others suggestions of eye test and hearing test. Get these sorted now just to rule out

Original poster
sconenotscon · 06/11/2021 18:33

Hi all, just a wee update.

My son is having a hearing and sight test over the coming weeks but seems to be making a little progress now

His eye contact is a bit better in that he will focus on us for a short time when we're doing something funny and he has started to copy us when we clap! He won't answer to his name yet but he's started to respond to certain words like 'milk' and 'dummy' and just today he followed a command when I told him to get his dummy

Still a little ways to go but thanks to you all for your suggestions, I've had some fab advice on here and other boards and we seem to be getting somewhere with the GP and health visitors now Smile

OP posts:
CreepySpider · 06/11/2021 18:39

@sconenotscon

I was always told a child with autism will make no eye contact at all, ever (this came from a GP, not about my child) but is it really that black and white?
My DD has autism but makes eye contact and will laugh and smile along with me. It’s not that black and white at all. However, the less obvious cases are probably those that take longer to be diagnosed or else go under the radar altogether.
Original poster
sconenotscon · 06/11/2021 18:47

@CreepySpider I've lost count of the amount of people who have said my son can't be autistic because he has made fleeting eye contact with them, must be a very common misconception x

OP posts:
Somethingsnappy · 06/11/2021 19:07

I think it is a very common misconception OP. That aside, try to let the anxiety go (easier said than done, I know). As a PP said, an ASD diagnosis doesn't always (or even often) need to be something to worry about. Autism is a spectrum and presents differently in every individual. I know adults and children with ASD and many are some of the most interesting and wonderful people I know. My primary-aged nephew is on the spectrum and is exceptionally bright, talented, sweet, kind and affectionate. He is incredibly empathetic (lack of empathy is another common misconception) and often plays the peacemaker with my rabble of 4 noisy kids when arguments erupt.

Your baby may or may not turn out to be on the spectrum, but I just wanted to try to help you rationalise your worries a little.