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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at charity's emotional blackmail tactics

61 replies

melpomene · 10/12/2007 19:04

I have a monthly direct debit to give to charity that helps homeless people. Last month they sent me a letter asking for extra money (not for the first time). Then this morning I received a letter headed 'urgent reminder' saying that they had noticed I hadn't responded to the previous letter, they are short of their fundraising target and will have to turn people away.

AIBU to be fed up with this emotional blackmail which suggests that I am obliged to give extra donations when I am already paying as much as I can afford by direct debit?

OP posts:

moondog · 10/12/2007 19:04

Ring 'em up and tell them so.

nametaken · 10/12/2007 19:08

No, YANBU - if you feel slightly bullied by their behaviour is there someone you could report them too.

I know that the young people you see in town centres getting putting to sign up to contribute to charities by DD are working on commission and I wonder if the people behind this particular donation drive are also working on commission.

Ask them - is it The Big Issue by any chance?

TheQueenSPeach · 10/12/2007 19:11

Hmm, sort of and sort of not. However, do let them know what you think. Yes, they will ask you for more money, that's their job. They don't know whether it's all you can afford or not. There are really rich people who give surprisingly small donations to charities. However, direct mail is often a trial and error thing - they measure their response rates to different mailings / messages and see how it goes. Sometimes they'll do two mailings of vaguely different messages to see which gets the best results. And they'll trial really negative messages against really positive ones.

So, you don't like this one. Some people will. But if you don't let them know, they won't know how their tactics are going. And if you don't want to be asked for money again, tell them and they should record that so you're not asked again. And if they don't fulfil your wishes after this, then threaten to withdraw your money. Remember though that this mailing will raise money for them, which is presumably what you want.

BeeWiseMen · 10/12/2007 19:14

irritating isn't it when they're spending some of the money you give them each month on trying to get even more out of you. I'd phone them and tell them you don't want any more requests as you are giving all that you can at the moment. I don't know how successful that would be.Depends on the charity I guess. From the charity's POV, they get a far higher hit rate by appealing for extra funds from people who already give to them or have given in the past, than the general public. The only charity I've given to who have never done this are WSPA.

TheQueenSPeach · 10/12/2007 19:17

I think they'd be failing in their duties if they didn't try and get as much as possible out of donors. There are loads of people who give the £2 or £5 a month, when they could afford much more. People don't give if they're not asked. So the charity has to ask. But if you can't afford more, and don't want to be asked, as I say, do tell them.

Staceym11PipersPiping · 10/12/2007 19:19

melpomene, i think YANBU at all, people often approach me in my town centre appealing for moeny for various things, and my responce is always the same 'let me feed my children this month and if there is anything left i'll give it to charity', which invariably isn't very often!

blackmail isnt nice wherever it comes from!

BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer · 10/12/2007 19:23

I have never given to Christmas appeals since the year I sent Shelter an annonymous cheque and they wrote to me in the New Year via my bank.

TheQueenSPeach · 10/12/2007 19:29

What, the bank gave them your details???

BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer · 10/12/2007 19:31

Not quite they wrote to me via the bank and the bank forwarded it.

Swedes2Turnips1 · 10/12/2007 19:31

I think you have every right to be cross. Their message is that whatever it is you are doing is not enough and you should be doing more.
I am in no doubt that lots of us could do more for charity (me absolutely included), but to turn the screw on those who are already doing something beggars belief. Make sure you let your feelings be known.

TheQueenSPeach · 10/12/2007 19:34

Seems a bit extreme, but so long as they don't get your details, maybe they just wanted to say thank you?? Obviously I haven't seen the letter though...

prufrock · 10/12/2007 19:35

I think some do go completely over the line. My dh's dad died of prostate cancer a couple of years ago. Somehow a prostate cancer charity got his details and wrote to him just days later asjking for a donation. Unfeeling, but effective. Dh donated £1,000. We don't normally dontae like this, as we made a decision a few years ago to give a percentage of salary direct to a couple of charities through a company scheme that maximises his donation. But since then we have had so many really guilt tripping letters from this charity - at least one a month. And all with things like "if you don't donate we won't be able to do this research and other people will die" I think it's really excessive

TheQueenSPeach · 10/12/2007 19:41

Statistically the best donations come from those who are already giving. Indicates that they're already interested in your charity. In terms of expenditure, it costs less to get an existing donor to increase their donation, than it costs to recruit a brand new one. And one of the best methods of recruiting brand new donors, ie on the streets, isn't very popular. So what's a fundraiser to do?

But for the record, I think a monthly begging letter is completely out of order prufrock.

TheQueenSPeach · 10/12/2007 19:44

I promise not to post on this thread again.

Please carry on. Am genuinely interested.

Swedes2Turnips1 · 10/12/2007 19:44

I get really cross when they send pens. I don't want a crappy, plastic pen, thanks.

Original poster

melpomene · 10/12/2007 19:46

at Shelter writing via the bank.

The charity I'm talking about is Crisis. What really annoyed me was the way the letter resembled a reminder for an unpaid bill. It would be fair enough for them to say they'd like more money, but I don't appreciate being made to feel I'm obliged to give more.

I think I'll email them rather than phone, because I suspect if I phone they'll turn the conversation round to try to persuade me to increase my donations.

OP posts:

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 10/12/2007 20:03

DH gets chugged a lot because he gives quite a lot to charities by DD, and like the previous poster they target people who are already giving as a softer touch.
I just chuck the unsolicited apeals away and give to the ones I think deserving and less popular/picturesque.

bookofchristmascarolsmum · 10/12/2007 20:26

I'd be furious at being tapped for more money but then I can understand where they're coming from - it's tons cheaper to use a proven source of income than recruiting a new person.

The last charity I've given to in a traceable fashion was the Red Cross (they wrote to me later to confirm that it was ok to claim my tax back to max the donation) - I often just drop coins in boxes as and when I see them. Chuggers are best avoided.

pukkapatch · 10/12/2007 20:29

yabperfefctly reasonable.
but i am quite hard hearted. especially towards those charities that send me massive mail things including 12pence in c oins, or todays wonder, a beautiful necklace.
if they have the money to spend on postage etc costs, then they cant be that badly off .
i volunteer for a small charity, and we dont have the money to do this sort of cold posting.

pukkapatch · 10/12/2007 20:31

whats a fundraiser t do? well, setu up a dinner where people can enjoy themselves at teh same time?
use their creativity?
their brains?

bookofchristmascarolsmum · 10/12/2007 20:39

I used to do fundraising with a local social club and we used to have a target fund to raise. However we didn't mailshot people although we did have a database of known suckers supporters. A national charity will have their databases in the same way.

If you don't like it, vote with your purse and choose a new charity. Do tell the fundraisers that you don't like their methods though - they may just change them.

hatwoman · 10/12/2007 20:49

melpomene I think you have to
a) be happy and confident in your decisions. they are what you can afford and what makes you feel happy with yourself.
b) use this confidence to ignore any requests that go beyond what you are happy with/can afford
c) trust the charity to employ the most effective fund-raising techniques that raise money for a cause they you obviously feel is worthwhile. They know what they're doing and/or will evolve their techniques to be as effective as they can
d) see mailings as "nothing personal" - just the charity doing c.

unless c. goes beyond what you really think is ethical then you have to inform them and/or withdraw your funding and find another charity

all imho of course

TheQueenSPeach · 10/12/2007 22:00

Sorry, broken my own promise here now but had to respond to pukka saying:

"whats a fundraiser t do? well, setu up a dinner where people can enjoy themselves at teh same time?
use their creativity?
their brains?"

Dinners are great to raise awareness but they're surprisingly bad at raising funds. A fundraiser using creativity and brains will use a range of products, not just one. Sure, if you combine a dinner with an auction, with "money can't buy" prizes, and ensure you have a room full of people who will pay well over the odds for those prizes, then great, you might make a lot of money (many small charities can't access that kind of supporter, and certainly not enough to fill a hall with them). Somehow I suspect most on this thread can't afford to pay £5k on a day trip to Fancy House with Lord and Lady Bloggs, but still want to support the causes they care about. Charities have to be very efficient and savvy these days, and can't just sit on their heels.

dweezle · 11/12/2007 08:31

We used to give regularly by monthly d/d to 4 charities, but the charities in question seemed to use up our entire donation sending us catalogues, further begging letters, plastic pens and keyrings etc, so we stopped the d/ds and now put money in collecting boxes instead. Use the flaming donations to cure cancer/save animals/rescue stricken sailors, but stop using it to send me poxy catalogues................

Blandmum · 11/12/2007 08:37

I have set charities that I support on a regular basis.

One of them is Marie Curie, and they have spent a lot of time on the phone to me, trying to get me to do various fund raising things, that sadly I don't have the time for.

The last collection I did for them took me over 4 hours and raised less than £20. TBH, my time is worth more to me than that, and I send money instead.

recently I asked them to stop phoning me, because of the strain I am under caused by dh's illness, and they have respected that.

I can understand the need to raise money. But I also resent the 'Badgering'

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