To be annoyed at charity's emotional blackmail tactics

[melpomene]

I have a monthly direct debit to give to charity that helps homeless people. Last month they sent me a letter asking for extra money (not for the first time). Then this morning I received a letter headed 'urgent reminder' saying that they had noticed I hadn't responded to the previous letter, they are short of their fundraising target and will have to turn people away.

AIBU to be fed up with this emotional blackmail which suggests that I am obliged to give extra donations when I am already paying as much as I can afford by direct debit?

How is Mr MB? Was hoping to 'spot' you about to ask.

(Sorry for hijack)

Better than the last month.

In trying to control his pain, we ended up with him being oversosed on opaites, and that was awful

He has been in and out of the hospice, and his symptoms are now under reasonable control. We have just had the district nurse take away his syringe driver and he is trying oral pain meds.

He is well enough to want to go into town for the first time in about a month!!

So off to brave the traffic

To the OP - YANBU.

When my great uncle and great aunt (both single people) got very frail, my mother, my aunt and their cousin took over their financial affairs, which of course included receiving all their post.

Both my great uncle and great aunt had a reasonable amount of money, both lived very frugally and both responded to absolutely every last request for charitable donations - they were spending a fortune on donations. My mother (who also has a tendency to be gullible) had her eyes finally opened to the totally immoral marketing techniques of many charities, who bombard elderly/vulnerable/gullible people and abuse their generosity with all sorts of emotional blackmail.

I'd like to know how one gets hold of the money. I am forever seeing tins shaken for 'disabled children' or 'holidays for disabled children' and as a mum of a severely disabled child I have no idea how one gets the holiday or help or what have you. They don't seek us out!
Wrote to the Caudwell Trust once to see if they would help us get dd a walking frame and they sent me a form so complex I gave up. Saving the £1300 at arate of 5 quid a month. Sigh.

Oh, and charities go for the 'tragic' look for disability. I know why they do it but it ticks me off and once again relegates us to not-quite-people

MB - sorry it has been so hard to control the pain but glad he is feeling better. Happy shopping today!

needmorecoffee - for you and your DD.

On the complex form issue - I used, a long time ago, to work for a charity, and I used to write/design application forms.

We didn't want them to be unnecessarily complex, but we did need to make them sufficiently complete in order to ensure we were assessing each application properly, and that required a lot of information.

Unfortunately, grant-making charities receive many applications from unworthy as well as worthy candidates, and not many charities have enough money to make grants even to all the very worthy candidates that apply, so they need to be prioritised. The Charity Commission also requires that charities have good controls in place, and charities, like businesses, have to undergo audits.

Have you tried asking CAB for help with form-filling?

I know Anna but when you care 24 hours a day those forms are a nightmare. The recent one took me hours and wanted ancient bank statements and things. things I throw away. I broke down in tears and screwed it up as it was so hard. Surely dd being severely disabled is enough? Also means I'm too scared to try them so we can take dd to Brainwave. Thats 2 grand I haven't got.
At this rate only those with plenty of time and a PhD will get any help. CAB take 6 months to get an appointment.

As others have said, charities need to compete for funds, and there are a lot of charities and only so much money available. Basically, they are using marketing techniques to get your money. I work for a charity, and I give to several, but I ignore all the extra asks. I just give what and when I want. Their job is to make you feel guilty as that is your motivation for giving... i.e. I am a good person as I have helped x.

My DH used to donate by DD to several charities. He got pissed off with the amount of mailshots the charities were sending - it made him question the percentage of his contribution that was actually going to the people the charity was supposed to help.
In the end the money he donated to them he gave to our local church, which we are active members of, to help run various community projects(some of which we are directly involved in) and to support local charities. There we can see where the money is going.

OK, but put yourself on the waiting list for CAB and, in the mean time, when you have a moment, ring up and get the forms from any relevant charity you can think of / glean information from on here.

I know it's really hard, but, believe me, most charities don't make it deliberately difficult to get a grant.

PS you shouldn't throw away bank statements

Some of the tactics charities use can be annoying and instrusive. Most of them do their market research though, and use various tactics because they work unfortunately. The pens is a classic example. People hate getting those pens with the appeals, but the evidence shows that appeals sent with pens generate more income than those which don't.

You are not being unreasonable to find what's happened to you annoying though, I would write to them accordingly and request no further additional requests on top of your current monthly donation. These appeal letters are often written from a very senior member of staff, Fundraising Director or similar. I would write to that person.

We discussed the NSPCC doing this before. Drives me nuts.

email or write them back saying the amount you so kindly pay every month/quarter whichever is as much as you can afford and should that now not be enough you will have to withdraw your donations permanently as you feel harrased and railroaded into giving something you cant afford.

so annoying, i had this too, its a donation, not a standing order for a bil

I think it's also bananas to be spending your donation writing to you to ask for more money.

i'm a fundraiser. i'd never write to a regular donor asking for more, how outrageously greedy and ungrateful. cancel your direct debit and tell them why melpomene. it is probably an agency doing it too, not the charity themselves.

mb how ill considered of marie curie to ask you to help them while you have so much to bear yourself. i can only think their fundraising does not connect at all with their service delivery side.

sometimes i am really shocked of what people do in the name of fundraising. it really isn't neccessary to behave badly, pile on the guilt or badger people and don't get me started on nspcc name book...

Many big charities are just businesses which try to use a bit of moral blackmail to extort money. The people who run and work for them (at the top) have no personal committment to the charity's aims or ideals. Here are some things they do which annoy me ...

Chuggers. Those people who accost you on a street, and ask you to sign a direct debit - be cause they are not licensed to ask for money. Normally something like the first three years of donations are simmed off by the chugging company - who pay the chuggers peanuts, of course.

Subsidised holidays. "I'm trying to raise £2,500 for a charity trek to Macchu Pichu". No you're not - you are trying to get me to give you money towards a swanky holiday in South America and you think giving 20% to charity will make it seem less greedy. Well you can just fark right off - and the llama you rode in on.

Stupid shop prices. Oxfam are particularly bad at this - they charge the same for books as second hand bookshops do. Which is fine if you happen to find a book you really want, but doesn't encourage you to buy something vaguely interesting. Half the prices, folks - you'll treble the number you sell. Press reports suggest that many, perhaps even most, Oxfam shops run at a loss! Yup, that money they extort from you is going to keep little old ladies in fresh tabards.

Huge administrative costs. I know someone who worked for a big developmental charity which boasts that it spends most of its income on projects and not admin. Well yes, but that's because they then backcharge the individual projects staggering amounts for admin services. Thirty pounds for every locally made purchase (of two or three quid) to process paperwork?

I don't mind the pens. At least you can tell when they are in th eenvelope and get them out one corner without opening them!

Finally ... tip for a good charity. I know various people involved with Water Aid, and they all say it's practical, focussed, useful, efficient and really doesn't waste money. Otherwise I reckon it's the small local charities which most deserve support and use the money best.

"Many big charities are just businesses which try to use a bit of moral blackmail to extort money."
Yeah, right. We don't help people. I just pocket the money I extort from people.

"The people who run and work for them (at the top) have no personal committment to the charity's aims or ideals." Of course. In my first week with this charity, I had tears in my eyes the first three days out of five, hearing stories direct from the people who actually do the work. So absolutely, no emotional commitment whatsoever. From anyone.

It's almost 10 o'clock at night. I've had a long day. I can't be bothered with the rest right now.

i take huge offence at your post ubergeekian

i am a fundraiser and fairly senior and believe me i have a huge commitment to this charity i work for currently and those i have worked for in the past

if i don't have a connection and a love for what the charity does, how can i be passionate about it to raise funds?

there are good, bad, mediocre and worse charities. Plenty are run by volunteers as well.

To the OP - you shouldn't have been sent a letter phrased as clumsily as that - it is rude and clearly upset you. You should let the charity know how you feel.

hello ruby. i work for a small/med charity, what size yours?

queen are you also working in fundraising?

Ubergeekian that's such rubbish I'm afraid, most people who work for big charities do have a huge commitment - and need to to do what they do as well- working for a big charity is no picnic believe me. Or a small one I expect.

And that very much includes people running them btw, absolutely.

Definitely write to the charity and say you are not happy with their approach - if you're not happy with their response then find an alternative - maybe a smaller/local charity that still supports homeless people - and they will be more than happy to have a regular donation - as the manager of a small charity I would be very happy to have a regular donor!

ubergeekian all your points are worth making, but rather a shallow view of a very diverse sector.

I have been just made redundant from a charity, which I worked for 11 years in the accounts department. I had been there longer than anyone else and seen it grow. From what I can gather charities are going through quite a bad time at the moment, all competing for a pot of money that is getting smaller and smaller.

When we went in for direct mailing it cost us nearly as much to raise the money as the donations we received.

If anyone doesn't want to be contacted again all they have to do is tick the box on the donation form, or ring up and ask for no further communication. The fundraising software should be have a box to tick to stop further communication.

Last week my MIL got a particularly persistant phone call from one of the Cancer Charities. The fundraiser got quite unpleasant with her because she wouldn't make another donation. She rang up the charity directly and complained and they promised she would get no more phone calls.