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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Men knowing better

49 replies

PostcodeJack · 23/10/2021 20:48

Perhaps I'm being unreasonable and a tad touchy

We live in what will be the new ULEZ on Monday. We live about 20 metres inside the new zone. Cameras and signs have gone up but oddly inside the zone rather than outside it to say Entering ULEZ (or similar)

I was questioning with my OH why "they" would do this. Surely the signs should be that you are entering the ULEZ, not signalling when you exit it. The signs actually say that you are entering the ULEZ (wrongly)

I am apparently misinformed. Despite the fact that we sold his van for being ULEZ non-compliant and bought a new(ish) car to comply - we are no longer in the ULEZ. Why? Because "the man who put it up" told him.

We live within the ULEZ boundary. The boundary is at the end of our road. But now that "the man" told him that the ULEZ starts out from the South/North Circular, I must have it wrong. I have shown him maps. I have shown him the (limited) communication from our local councils/TFL/etc on this. But I am wrong because the man who put the camera up knows better. Because I am a woman who has only lived in this house for 20 years and knows where the fucking South Circular is

As an aside - I have also been told off by my family for being annoyed at this. I should know my place and being told constantly that I am wrong because men know better is something I am not allowed to be annoyed about

AIBU?

OP posts:
shouldistop · 23/10/2021 20:51

ULEZ?

MangoBiscuit · 23/10/2021 20:53

Ultra Low Emission Zone.

Original poster
PostcodeJack · 23/10/2021 20:53

Ultra Low Emission Zone - sorry

OP posts:
MangoBiscuit · 23/10/2021 20:56

OP, if you DP truly believes this other man, then he's a bit of a plonker for selling his van before he "knew" for sure. Really he should have gone outside and asked another man, any man, to confirm, rather than trust you, or any of the official communications.

shouldistop · 23/10/2021 20:58

Had to google it, London thing then.

Yes, it's annoying that some men do this. My step dad wouldn't even let me direct him somewhere using google maps once. It took us an hour longer because he wouldn't listen to my directions.

Original poster
PostcodeJack · 23/10/2021 20:58

@MangoBiscuit

OP, if you DP truly believes this other man, then he's a bit of a plonker for selling his van before he "knew" for sure. Really he should have gone outside and asked another man, any man, to confirm, rather than trust you, or any of the official communications.
I can't do a laughing emoji but would if I could!
OP posts:
Original poster
PostcodeJack · 23/10/2021 21:05

@shouldistop

Had to google it, London thing then.

Yes, it's annoying that some men do this. My step dad wouldn't even let me direct him somewhere using google maps once. It took us an hour longer because he wouldn't listen to my directions.

TBF - I think my Dad ignores the SatNav because it has a woman's voice

He also doesn't let me direct him to where I live (he knows better than me it seems)

OP posts:
Snoozysnoozy · 23/10/2021 21:09

I can't do a laughing emoji but would if I could!

Want a man to show you how? 😂

Original poster
PostcodeJack · 23/10/2021 21:10

@Snoozysnoozy

I can't do a laughing emoji but would if I could!

Want a man to show you how? 😂

Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
PostcodeJack · 23/10/2021 21:46

I'm apparently "hysterical" any time I get annoyed, But he can shout at me at will and apparently that's a reasoned response. I really don't know if I'm unreasonable

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 23/10/2021 21:50

He really cannot shout at you thats wrong

Don't bother discussing it with him maybe report to the council or whoever runs it that the signs don't correspond with the online data

Practice saying yes dear next time he says your hysterical

Your family can fuck off too

Fimofriend · 23/10/2021 21:56

Call him hysterical next time he shouts. Start refering to his temper tantrums and hysteria if he wants to discuss your disagreements in front of others.

Original poster
PostcodeJack · 23/10/2021 21:58

@Theunamedcat

He really cannot shout at you thats wrong

Don't bother discussing it with him maybe report to the council or whoever runs it that the signs don't correspond with the online data

Practice saying yes dear next time he says your hysterical

Your family can fuck off too

Thank you for the comment about my family - that's pretty much how I felt too. My OH can be a dick but (other than being a misogynistic twat at times) is generally ok. Today just really pissed my off though

And yes - I suspect the cameras and signs will be moved (once I repost how illogical it is tomorrow)

OP posts:
Original poster
PostcodeJack · 23/10/2021 22:02

@Fimofriend

Call him hysterical next time he shouts. Start refering to his temper tantrums and hysteria if he wants to discuss your disagreements in front of others.
TBF I'm the one who points it out; possibly because I've been on the receiving end of a fist and don't want to be again.
OP posts:
noworklifebalance · 23/10/2021 22:10

TBF I'm the one who points it out; possibly because I've been on the receiving end of a fist and don't want to be again

Sorry but WTF?! Have I misunderstood?

Original poster
PostcodeJack · 23/10/2021 22:16

@noworklifebalance

TBF I'm the one who points it out; possibly because I've been on the receiving end of a fist and don't want to be again

Sorry but WTF?! Have I misunderstood?

Sorry- to be clear - not on the back of him. There's a part of me that doesn't want to bring things up because it hasn't ended well in previous relationships. 9 times out of 10 I'm fine with telling him he's a tosser (because we REALLY DO LIVE IN THE ULEZ!) but tonight he was being a twat and I just wondered if I was too
OP posts:
Sickoffamilydrama · 23/10/2021 22:16

ULEZ won't just be a London thing soon.

More importantly are you saying your DH hits you OP because you have a bigger problem then.

Original poster
PostcodeJack · 23/10/2021 22:18

@Sickoffamilydrama

ULEZ won't just be a London thing soon.

More importantly are you saying your DH hits you OP because you have a bigger problem then.

No - I think I cross posted there. No he doesn't
OP posts:
Original poster
PostcodeJack · 23/10/2021 22:21

But perhaps my reaction to "Man knows better" is clouded by that. Bluntly I think he's been a dick but my yelling he was a dick was perhaps not helpful (although he really really was)

OP posts:
Sickoffamilydrama · 23/10/2021 22:24

That's good to hear OP unfortunately at times we can all be awkward especially around our loved ones. When you report the signs and they are changed make sure you point out that you told him so 😉

Original poster
PostcodeJack · 23/10/2021 22:27

I just wanted some feedback on whether, both of us knowing the situation and having had to buy a new car, now he has he has suddenly decided, having heard a random change the goalposts, is he a prick for suddenly deciding that ULEZ no longer applies to us (because Man said so)?

OP posts:
Original poster
PostcodeJack · 23/10/2021 22:28

@Sickoffamilydrama

That's good to hear OP unfortunately at times we can all be awkward especially around our loved ones. When you report the signs and they are changed make sure you point out that you told him so 😉
Thanks x You're right
OP posts:
Polmuggle · 23/10/2021 22:43

So your OH thinks that the ULEZ will start at the end of your road, LEAVING London? He thinks the cameras are facing the right way and that the ULEZ is for the Home Counties?

Original poster
PostcodeJack · 23/10/2021 22:51

@Polmuggle

So your OH thinks that the ULEZ will start at the end of your road, LEAVING London? He thinks the cameras are facing the right way and that the ULEZ is for the Home Counties?
Yes . Because suddenly he has lost all reason. We know we are in the ULEZ thing. But suddenly he has decided we are not because...the Man. Am baffled
OP posts:
steppemum · 23/10/2021 22:57

yes OP, this drives me nuts.

I can remember as a young adult, when the phones went from analogue to digital.
We had a new press button phone!
but I heard a radio programme explaining that it wasn't fatser than the old rotary dial until you local exchnage had also updated.

I remember telling my family.
They all told me I was wrong and explained why, even though I counter explained what the radio programme said and exactly how it worked. I was wrong.

Until my older brother walked in, over heard the conversation, and just said - yeah, if the exchange is still rotary dial up it isn't quicker.
OH, RIGHT said everyone, and believed him.

I lost my shit at the whole family. They could not understand what was wrong!