Hi all
So bit of background, I was always life and soul of the party type, thrived off lots of people being around, could talk the hind legs off the donkey and really liked meeting new people etc etc.
I don’t know what’s got into me recently but I just absolutely cannot bear being in large groups, to the point I have avoided meeting up with friends in groups of larger than about 3. Going out with my OH or 1 or 2 friends is fine but any more than that and I start seizing up, can’t hold a conversation, end up fiddling on my phone. I have also noticed myself doing some anxious sort of tics like scratching my hand or rapping my knuckles over and over again on the table.
My lovely friends have all been quite worried as this is so out of character for me and I’ve had a few texts asking if everything is ok. Last night one of my friends was meeting up with old uni mates and invited me to go. We would be about 4 total and this particular friend was really keen I come and has previously seemed a bit worried, so I put on a brave face and went. When I got there however there were about 7 or 8 people total and I just got into a big panic. Had 2 drinks which I promptly gulped down, left someone a bit of money to cover them and left.
I’m feeling really sorry for myself as this just isn’t me at all. I don’t think it’s covid related as although I was cautious, I was never one of these people who didn’t leave the house and stayed far away from people. The ultimate irony is if I stay in and don’t do anything I get really bored and start arranging plans with people— just not in big groups!!!
Any ideas on how I can get over this as I feel really silly