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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My Cousin has copied my Wedding Dress for my Wedding Day!!!

58 replies

PrincessA1203 · 22/10/2021 21:30

I am getting married shortly, and have shown my immediate family my wedding dress (those who I trust). I have bought this dress in June time and have gone for something a bit more modern in comparison to traditional Asian brides. My teenage cousin was one of the people who had seen my dress. My family asked for a colour scheme for them to wear to my wedding in which I told them a colour scheme that matches my theme. I then recently spoke to my cousin who told me she has a dress in the specific theme we told her. She sent me a photo of her dress and I am shocked at how similar it is to mine! Its the same shade colour and embroidery and details are the same colour and design too!! AIBU to think this is really out of order!

OP posts:
Thundercats77 · 22/10/2021 23:13

Could it be that they have innocently bought this outfit thinking that YOU will be proud of them for getting the theme and colours bang on with what you have requested?

Being an Asian wedding, could you perhaps ask your cousin to wear it at a different function of yours, assuming you will have a few funtions?

If that doesn't work for you, could you ask your cousin to return or exchange the outfit as it looks the same as yours?

TheSmallAssassin · 22/10/2021 23:24

Honestly, what does it matter? Why would you care? Enjoy your day, you won't be any less married because of what you or any guest wears. No doubt someone will be along saying it's "your day" and the bride absolutely must be the centre of attention, but it honestly shouldn't matter, it's just vanity. Weddings are about love.

WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia · 22/10/2021 23:38

She's a young teenage girl, FGS. Calm down. She probably doesn't even realise that it's a big deal

She’s a teenager not a 5 year old, she should know it’s weird and unacceptable to buy the same wedding dress the bride is going to wear.

BoredZelda · 22/10/2021 23:39

These threads do make me smile thinking back to my wedding. Being a Scottish wedding, a whole bunch of guys wore the same outfit as my husband, even the same colour kilt. My sister’s partner wasn’t part of the bridal party and specifically chose to do it. I thought it was really nice of him and at no point did I think he had an ulterior motive, it’s just that his kilt also matched my sister’s dress as she was my bridesmaid and we incorporated the tartan in the bridesmaids dresses. Others did so without realising, it was quite a popular tartan. Nobody batted an eyelid but if someone copies the bride that’s a big no no. Why is that?

tricky29 · 22/10/2021 23:45

I need to get this right - there is a colour scheme for your wedding, you hope people close to you will follow it? You've also shared the detail of the dress and then the cousin hasn't just followed the colour scheme but lifted your bridal outfit?

If that's the case, you are justified in being annoyed but if you voice it, you may well be told your guest is doing what you asked for.

Is there a 3rd party who can wisely intervene and explain to the cousin that her outfit is creating a problem that doesn't need to happen? Maybe suggest the outfit co-ordinates with rather than matches the your's?

If the cousin with the matching outfit is getting help choosing from her mother or someone else, maybe the problem is with that person? That's my rough guess, it's a power play that has little to do with either of you.

puddlebubble · 22/10/2021 23:52

yikes, did she not understand? I don't care about people wearing white at weddings, but this seems different. I'd very frankly just text back 'the embroidery is too similar to my dress, would you change it?. but the colour you chose is perfect' or some such half and half thing. I'd word a second email more directly.

TractorAndHeadphones · 23/10/2021 15:34

@BoredZelda

These threads do make me smile thinking back to my wedding. Being a Scottish wedding, a whole bunch of guys wore the same outfit as my husband, even the same colour kilt. My sister’s partner wasn’t part of the bridal party and specifically chose to do it. I thought it was really nice of him and at no point did I think he had an ulterior motive, it’s just that his kilt also matched my sister’s dress as she was my bridesmaid and we incorporated the tartan in the bridesmaids dresses. Others did so without realising, it was quite a popular tartan. Nobody batted an eyelid but if someone copies the bride that’s a big no no. Why is that?
Because a wedding dress is distinctive. Men's suits and tartans are not.

The bride is the one in the wedding dress. Most people don't have a white lacy gown as the only appropriate wedding outfit in their closet. So wearing something that could be mistaken for a wedding dress is clearly malicious.

This is assuming the bride is in what is clearly a wedding dress. OP's case is different, could have been a miscommunication.

The groom is the one in a suit . As the 'standard' colour is the same as what guests already have it's ridiculous to ask people to buy a new suit for a single occasion. Groom have a lapel flower anyway. If a guest turned up with the same presumably an uproar would be made.

HTH

TractorAndHeadphones · 23/10/2021 15:35

*The groom is IN a suit sorry not 'the one' in a suit.

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