My Cousin has copied my Wedding Dress for my Wedding Day!!!

[PrincessA1203]

I am getting married shortly, and have shown my immediate family my wedding dress (those who I trust). I have bought this dress in June time and have gone for something a bit more modern in comparison to traditional Asian brides. My teenage cousin was one of the people who had seen my dress. My family asked for a colour scheme for them to wear to my wedding in which I told them a colour scheme that matches my theme. I then recently spoke to my cousin who told me she has a dress in the specific theme we told her. She sent me a photo of her dress and I am shocked at how similar it is to mine! Its the same shade colour and embroidery and details are the same colour and design too!! AIBU to think this is really out of order!

@Aquamarine1029 the op has specifically said that the teenager’s mum bought the dress with her. You’re absolutely right that teenagers don’t know better, but adults do. I don’t believe any grown woman doesn’t know that this would upset the vast majority of brides. It’s a parents job to help teach their children how to navigate various situations. This can (and should) be done kindly. The mum should have explained to her daughter why this was inappropriate. It will be a much bigger deal now, than if mum had just said ‘oh I think that’s a bit to similar to DrSbaitso, we best choose something else’, when they were shopping.

Has your cousin’s mum seen your dress?

What colour is your dress and what colours are your theme colours?

Get the elders involved

Can’t you just send her a message saying “lol, funny! You can’t wear that we’d be matching! Hahaha!!”

@Couchbettato

I was talking to my Asian colleague last week about Asian weddings because they're so beautiful but I've never been to one, and she said that it's all about looking good, and some times the guests even try to out do the bride.

I was shocked because to me I just think every one looks collectively beautiful but she said it's all down to the fine details like the embroidery, so it's a case of if you know you know.

Asian covers an entire continent so I don't know what kind of Asian you're referring to but if it's South Asian - people wear their best clothes to weddings, gold jewellery etc tec but the bride is very obvious - because she's wearing a LOT more gold and has different makeup. Plus people wouldn't wear a saree in the same colour (red) or with detailing.

Anyway OP said she's going for something a 'bit' more modern so I don't know what that means? She may have bought something 'off the rack' a traditional clothes shop that's a bit more modern but not a wedding dress per se. And cousin bought the same dress.

She's the guests OP surely theres' a million other things she can wear. Get her to return the dress and buy a new one.

Mum and auntie need to get this resolved ASAP!

Also OP - it's not smilar - it sounds like literally the SAME Dresss?!?!?

My cousin wore her wedding outfit to my wedding 😂

Another vote for just telling them that it is too similar to yours, and you would prefer for her to change it.
Which colours are we talking about?

Have any of them seen your dress? If not then I don't think you can be annoyed. But I'd get someone to say something or say it yourself about how that dress isn't suitable.

Ah sorry I see you said you showed her. Get a new theme?

I took my sister and mum to the dress shop. Told nobody else. You made a big mistake there!

@AutumnLeafy

Ah sorry I see you said you showed her. Get a new theme?

Why is it up to the bride to change the theme rather than a random guest?

Definitely say something or get your own Mother to say something. Or your Aunt...it's terrible to do this.

Is it possible they’ve somehow misunderstood you and think you want the bridal party in very similar dresses? It’s weird that you gave them guidance and biw this. Sounds like a misunderstanding.

What exactly did you tell her about the colour scheme? If you told her "I'd like you to match my colours, which are purple and gold," and she chose a purple dress with gold embroidery, I don't think it's reasonable to be upset because you also have a purple dress with gold embroidery.

@AutumnLeafy

Ah sorry I see you said you showed her. Get a new theme?

Why should OP have to change all her plans though?

I'd text back saying, 'Oh. How come you've chosen a dress exactly like mine?' and see what she says next. I wouldn't have a problem asking her to get a different one. She's seen your dress, she knows she's being inappropriate and it is deliberate.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack there, I thought you were being serious and got one the same as my wedding dress! Sure you'll find something non bride-y that looks lovely though, see you on the big day."

Or something like that maybe?

You need either your mum or sister to have a word with your cousin and her mum.

Is she going to wear it to your wedding? I assume not because that would be ridiculous and she'll make a fool of herself.

She thinks she did what you asked and showed it to you for your approval presumably. If she was being nasty she would just turn up at wedding in the dress like yours without telling you. But actually she has done what you asked - kept to your colour scheme so it will be like your dress then anyway, won't it?

My bridesmaid wore a long white lace dress to my wedding. I still can't quite believe it many years later. It got me thinking, how come Pippa Middleton wore a whitening dress to be bridesmaid to her sister?
Re your issue OP, definitely not ok at all. I think you must say to the girl and her cousin that you are so sorry but the dress is too similar to your dress and please wear something else.

You showed her your dress and she's copied it, what a cow! Get your mum to sort it out.