Is this a safeguarding issue? Or non issue?

autumnvibes1 · 2021-10-22T07:21:16+00:00

NC but long time poster as this could be outing My DS told me on a incident at school last night this is what he told me. He said he had gone to the loo and another child in his class followed him in and did not go to the loo. This child poked his bum while his trousers and pants were down and then ran off laughing back to class. My DS felt upset by this and said he told the TA who told the teacher and told this boy off. This is not the first time this child has done stuff in the toilets. Other things have been looking under toilet doors of others. This boy also hurts others in the classroom. So AIBU to think this is a safeguarding issue in that the boy is clearly not respecting other childrens boundaries and upsetting them and therefore he should be accompanied to the toilet by a TA. I've just spoken to my DS about the nspcc pants and reassured him he did the right thing telling the teacher about what happened. I don't want him to feel worried or sad when going to the toilet. Also for ref he is in yr1

Donelurking · 22/10/2021 08:25

It is an issue yes. I would be very surprised if the school were not thinking the same. You might ask them rather than a bunch of random strangers. They will not reveal much as they should protect the other child’s confidentiality but you will have a chance to express your concern regarding your child’s safety.

roaringwater · 22/10/2021 08:27

As a member of school SLT, yes, this is a safeguarding issue.

Original poster

autumnvibes1 · 22/10/2021 08:42

Thank you for your replies. I thought this is a safeguarding issue too but i wanted to ask because I had posted on a mum group on FB what i should do regarding approaching the school and thought this was a SG issue. I got hammered and so many mums were telling me i was making it a huge issue and that it wasn't one! When in actual fact i've had SG training and recognised this was an issue but didnt know how to approach it with the school.

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AccidentallyOnPurpose · 22/10/2021 08:47

I work in a school. It is a SG issue. Talk to the teacher or ask for a meeting with the designated safeguarding lead(normally the head). Thos child does not have healthy boundaries,which is not good for him or his peers.

Jossbow · 22/10/2021 08:59

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AccidentallyOnPurpose · 22/10/2021 09:03

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tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 22/10/2021 09:05

Victim blaming a 6 year old. Lovely

Agree OP this is definitely a safeguarding one.

chipsandgin · 22/10/2021 09:07

Absolutely approach the schools safeguarding team/person. Behaviour like that is a strong indicator of abuse & for the sake of the child involved they should investigate. They won’t be penalised (although they clearly need help with appropriate behaviour etc), but it’s a concern that shouldn’t be ignored plus will help your child to not be put in that situation again.

HeyDugeesCakeBadge · 22/10/2021 09:09

Jossbow, that's the first thing you thought of when a child has disclosed he's being touched inappropriately? Really?

OP it is a safeguarding issue.

Fdksyihfd · 22/10/2021 09:10

It’s definitely something to bring up with school.

ImUninsultable · 22/10/2021 09:11

This happened with our school. I've posted on here before under a different name about it.

It started with this sort of action; poking boys in the bum and looking under toilet doors. The school didnt take any action. Then he went to the toilet at the same time as a boy in primary 2 (the child doing it was primary 3). He shoved into the cubicle with the boy and locked the door, and touched him on his penis.

The P2 kid took longer than normal because of this so when he returned to class, the teacher made a wee jokey comment about how long he had been gone and the kid just blurted out, "X locked me in the toilet and touched my peepee".

The school finally took action and their solution was.... to have the P7 kids be toilet monitors at break times. No adult put in charge of it, just let the P7 kkds deal with it. The child was still allowed unaccompanied to the toilets during class time.

This child was already under social work involvement. It took the parent of the child he touched calling the police and social service department themselves before the school took assigned an adult to monitor and walk with him around the school. He was removed from school a year later for lots of other incidents. But he was violent as well as abusing the younger kids. Not sure how far you'll get with just the poke in the bum if your head teacher is as useless as ours was.

That headteachers has also been replaced so it's much better now all round.

Original poster

autumnvibes1 · 22/10/2021 09:11

@Jossbow

Maybe you need to teach your son to protect himself from such activity. Either use a cubical and shut the door, or dont pull right down if you are using urinal

Ohhh ok so its my child's fault for making this happen to him. Victim blaming at it's finest. How about my child should be free to go to school without worrying about this happening to him.

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ImUninsultable · 22/10/2021 09:12

@Jossbow

I wouldn't usually say this, but I think it is warranted here.

Fuck off.

Original poster

autumnvibes1 · 22/10/2021 09:12

@tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz

Victim blaming a 6 year old. Lovely

Agree OP this is definitely a safeguarding one.

Agree. Honestly when will people stop victim blaming! Not just on this issue but in general

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Shoxfordian · 22/10/2021 09:14

It’s something to bring up with the school not on Facebook. I hope nobody else at the school saw your posts on there

JustLyra · 22/10/2021 09:14

@Jossbow

Maybe you need to teach your son to protect himself from such activity. Either use a cubical and shut the door, or dont pull right down if you are using urinal

Jesus Christ.

That is not something a child should have to be taught to use the school toilet.

Is there no limit to blaming victims?

lmpeachment · 22/10/2021 09:15

I mean this kindly, but stop asking randoms on the internet and speak to the school!!!

Original poster

autumnvibes1 · 22/10/2021 09:16

@chipsandgin

Absolutely approach the schools safeguarding team/person. Behaviour like that is a strong indicator of abuse & for the sake of the child involved they should investigate. They won’t be penalised (although they clearly need help with appropriate behaviour etc), but it’s a concern that shouldn’t be ignored plus will help your child to not be put in that situation again.

Yes i am aware of it being a strong indicator of that too. So I do feel for the other child, there are obviously issues going on in his life. So my anger is not solely at him but the school have a duty to protect the other children when other incidents have happened before this. So this is not isolated.

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cansu · 22/10/2021 09:17

You were completely wrong to put this on Facebook!! That on itself has caused a safeguarding incident because any of the kids will now know about it! For all you know the teacher has raised a safeguarding concern. You should have rang the school and asked them if they were dealing with it. Unbelievable.

Original poster

autumnvibes1 · 22/10/2021 09:18

@Shoxfordian

It’s something to bring up with the school not on Facebook. I hope nobody else at the school saw your posts on there

It was not a local page, no one from my area is on it and it is a small group, I did not name anyone and my FB profile is locked down so no one can see where i am from.I was asking for advice on how to approach it with the school so i could work with them to resolve it. I was in no way bashing anyone.

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ImUninsultable · 22/10/2021 09:19

Take it off facebook.
Your son deserves dignity and privacy.

I cant believe you put it on Facebook.

Original poster

autumnvibes1 · 22/10/2021 09:20

@ImUninsultable

This happened with our school. I've posted on here before under a different name about it.

It started with this sort of action; poking boys in the bum and looking under toilet doors. The school didnt take any action. Then he went to the toilet at the same time as a boy in primary 2 (the child doing it was primary 3). He shoved into the cubicle with the boy and locked the door, and touched him on his penis.

The P2 kid took longer than normal because of this so when he returned to class, the teacher made a wee jokey comment about how long he had been gone and the kid just blurted out, "X locked me in the toilet and touched my peepee".

The school finally took action and their solution was.... to have the P7 kids be toilet monitors at break times. No adult put in charge of it, just let the P7 kkds deal with it. The child was still allowed unaccompanied to the toilets during class time.

This child was already under social work involvement. It took the parent of the child he touched calling the police and social service department themselves before the school took assigned an adult to monitor and walk with him around the school. He was removed from school a year later for lots of other incidents. But he was violent as well as abusing the younger kids. Not sure how far you'll get with just the poke in the bum if your head teacher is as useless as ours was.

That headteachers has also been replaced so it's much better now all round.

Wow it took that long to resolve the issue and for the police to be involved. That is worrying, i hope my DS school are better than that, i'm not so sure though if i'm honest

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Orangesandlemons82 · 22/10/2021 09:20

The Keeping children safe in education update covers this kind of incident. The school should have introduced a policy on peer on peer abuse. I would ask to see this. It should also be documented on CPOMs or their equivalent.

Original poster

autumnvibes1 · 22/10/2021 09:20

@ImUninsultable

Take it off facebook. Your son deserves dignity and privacy.

I cant believe you put it on Facebook.

It is no longer on there, i took it off. No one can see who my DS is or the other child

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Original poster

autumnvibes1 · 22/10/2021 09:27

@Orangesandlemons82

The Keeping children safe in education update covers this kind of incident. The school should have introduced a policy on peer on peer abuse. I would ask to see this. It should also be documented on CPOMs or their equivalent.

Thank you, i have just gone to the schools safeguarding polices and read the section about peers. I have messaged his class teacher but i think i might call the SGL instead

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