Was I rude?

[User527294627]

I was on the phone to a colleague earlier today. I’ve never met him in person - he works in a different office, but we occasionally speak on the phone. I am recently returned to work from mat leave, still WFH, and in the course of the call my baby yelled from a different room. He mentioned that he could hear the baby, and we had a bit of chit chat about it.

He then said ‘I know how it is, I have three kids myself’ and I sort of instinctively said ‘gosh, three! You’re brave!’. There was a slightly awkward pause and then he said something like ‘yes, anyway’ and the conversation moved on.

Was that a rude thing to say? His response leads me to think it wasn’t a good comment 😬 I wasn’t really thinking and it just came out, but I’m worried it sounded a bit judgmental. I feel bad about it now, though there’s not really anything I can do about it now.

@Fraine

I say ‘you’re brave’ at that kind of thing, what else can you say really? He should know it’s just chit chat.

You can say "that's lovely" or "I bet they keep you busy". There are many nice things you can say without implying that the parents are mad and you are judgy.

Nothing rude or offensive about it at all op.

I don't think it was rude, just a lighthearted acknowledgement.

I do think it's possible that he didn't quite hear what you said, and simply carried on, rather than ask you to repeat it.
I've done that a few times myself.

That might explain the pause, as he was trying to figure out what it was you said, then just decided to skip it.

Either way, I wouldn't worry about it anymore.
Actually, I know I'd probably worry about it for a few more weeks, but know I really shouldn't.