To be a bit annoyed at DH?

[motherofthelittlescreamingone]

So, this is obviously not a LTB situation!

I have a preschooler and a baby. Popped into town during baby's naptime as quickly as possible as had to buy an essential item from a shop in town whilst my DH did some admin at home and preschooler watched some TV. Turns out they were closed briefly for a lunch break, so I had 15 mins to kill. I went into the bookshop where I found some things for my daughter's birthday next month and Christmas, including a book that was perfect as a present for her birthday (matches theme of upcoming birthday party, by favourite author).

Came home, baby had woken screaming and wasn't settling. Dumped everything in hallway and went up to settle him. Came down and in time, within 5 mins, DH had taken the book out of the bag and started reading it to my daughter. He says he had wondered whether to ask me about it, but as I was otherwise engaged with baby he just went straight ahead and started reading because he thought it was a nice activity. We have a lot of other books in the house, masses of other stuff he could do with DD.

AIBU to feel a bit miffed that he didn't even consider that it might be a present for her and that now I have to try to find something else?

Am I the only person who wouldn’t simply insist that dh go out and buy her a present on the weekend? You’ve done that, accident or not he’s sabotaged that, surely he then puts in the replacement effort? It’s an excellent activity for a dad especially for a brilliant one as you say - why shouldn’t he be part of thinking of presents for his child?

@motherofthelittlescreamingone

I would LOVE it if my DH could settle our baby and I am absolutely not stopping him or criticising him for not being able to - my son is tricky. DH is not a poor henpecked soul who has a constant backseat parent and he is a brilliant parent to our DD - it's just that my son was BF for first six months (screaming a lot due to undiagnosed allergies) and we are still struggling to get to a place where he can be a source of comfort. Surely not very unusual?

I realise that it's probably on me to hide stuff ASAP in future. Hey ho, Stuff happens!

Fair enough, but you need your dh to be able to settle your baby. He may be tricky but you are both his parents.

Only on mumsnet does a bloke go into his wife’s shopping bag, take out what he clearly knows is a gift she has chosen and gives it to their daughter while the mum is upstairs caring for their baby, thus enjoying the moment and taking the credit, plus requiring a replacement gift to be bought (by the wife of course) and the response is:

• you’re lucky he reads to your child, what a great dad!
• why didn’t you put the bags away immediately/hide the contents from your (grown adult) husband?!
• why does your small baby prefer you to settle him, why haven’t you got him equally attached to your husband already?!

And the OP comes back merrily agreeing that she is indeed a lucky woman and is being such a silly sausage to overreact like that

The bar for what you expect and accept from men is literally on the floor with some of you!!

@TrufflesAndToast I was thinking some people's bars must be very low if they are so impressed by the DH reading to his daughter. Would they be so impressed if the OP reads to her daughter too, or just expect a mum to do that

Totally agree @TrufflesAndToast. It’s both hilarious and tragic.