Would you ask neighbours to stop doing this? (parking, with amazing diagram)

[HopkinsLeftLeg]

We live rurally. At the front of our house is a private lane, leading to small clusters of houses for around a mile along the road.

The school bus picks up kids at the B-road running along our house.

Diagram attached.

We've had issues with 1 neighbour parking on our land (yes, literally) and waiting for 10 mins until the bus picks their child up, turning on our grass, destroying it. Large boulders and sowing a load of replacement grass last summer put a stop to this, but we had a word with them, and asked them to park at the front of our house at drop off and pickup times, twice a day. It blocks our 2nd car parking space, and means i need to keep shutting the bedroom curtain to get dressed as they always arrive as i get changed for work , but we were also trying to be reasonable - there isn't anywhere else for parents to park, so don't mind it for 15min in the morning and 15min in the afternoons. (that's car 1 in my picture)

However, this morning we've found that other parents in the area are using the private lane to park with their engines running, while they wait on school bus pickups. Car 2 and Car 3, right outside our living room window with their engines running, blocking our main driveway meaning we can't get the car out.

DH and I agree that this is annoying but there's nothing we can do - we don't own the private road at the front of the house.

But this feels odd - the parents in question aren't people we know, but we know they are the closest 2 houses (literally about 200 yards up the road) and i can see this might be an issue for years and years to come, 2x a day as their kids are still young. No idea why they've started doing it now, maybe because they've seen car 1 parking at our house?

Would you park as these cars have done?
Would you say anything if you were us, bearing in mind we don't own the road and have zero legal support - the private land owner of the lane is not one of the cars doing this.

Are we being unreasonable to think this is a bit crap of the neighbours?

(I'm originally from the city so no idea of the rural ettiquette involved here)

[mumsiedarlingrevolta]

for the diagram

YDNBU

I am also in shock that children of that age need driven to bus stop and waited with!!!!

[ElftonWednesday]

If it's a private road, the people who live on it need to sort out some parking enforcement- some signs and paying someone to stop the parents parking there.

I stopped on a private road for two minutes near me to collect my daughter from a friend's house and an official came to check what I was doing there- it was all fine, but if it's private road, you can't go down it, and certainly can't park on it, if you aren't visiting a resident.

[RavingAnnie]

I wouldn't be concerned about them blocking my driveway if they were sat in their cars and moved as soon as I needed to get in or out. I don't know why that would bother anyone. It's only a problem if you need to use it and they can't or don't move.

I would be VERY bothered about them sat outside my house twice a day with their engines idling though as they is really polluting (and illegal AFAIK).

It seems very strange though that they do it at all for a distance of a few hundred yards. But that's not anything I can do much about.

I'd been taking to them about the idling personally and using the parking over drive as leverage.

[mumsiedarlingrevolta]

And also agree-get the bus stop moved!

[Skyla2005]

@HopkinsLeftLeg

sorry car 2 and 3 are definitely parents from the houses along the road, i.e. sort of our "neighbours" in the area. they aren't randoms. they live in some of the houses along the private lane (imagine driving left on my diagram).

Why aren't they walking then ? I would go out and ask them not to park there

[Mrbob]

@Dixiechickonhols

Roysette It’s absolutely chucking it down here today and freezing. A child in a blazer and shirt will be soaked to skin and cold all day. Standing in cold and wet is worse than walking in it. They may have to wait 20/30 mins - rural school buses won’t be on time. DD’s school is freezing at minute due to covid open windows policy - I assume staff are tolerating it as it’s better than covid and can wear own warm clothes - my teen is turning blue.
Not ops problem and they shouldn’t block drive but it could well be the issue. Obviously schools should have proper facilities to store wet weather gear/warm coats/wellies etc but lots don’t. So sitting in warm car waiting is obviously a thing hence 3 cars doing it. Then mum or dad drives off to work.

Lucky waterproof jackets exist then isn’t it so that they won’t have to stand in the rain in a blazer. I used to have to walk 20 minutes each end of the school bus journey even when it was raining and I am VERY lazy. I think they will cope

[Clymene]

@Dixiechickonhols

Roysette It’s absolutely chucking it down here today and freezing. A child in a blazer and shirt will be soaked to skin and cold all day. Standing in cold and wet is worse than walking in it. They may have to wait 20/30 mins - rural school buses won’t be on time. DD’s school is freezing at minute due to covid open windows policy - I assume staff are tolerating it as it’s better than covid and can wear own warm clothes - my teen is turning blue.
Not ops problem and they shouldn’t block drive but it could well be the issue. Obviously schools should have proper facilities to store wet weather gear/warm coats/wellies etc but lots don’t. So sitting in warm car waiting is obviously a thing hence 3 cars doing it. Then mum or dad drives off to work.

My children wear coats. They're amazing!

[ElftonWednesday]

Nice comments about children being driven around.

Very few adults put their wet weather gear on and walk to work or to get public transport in bad weather.

[ChimChimeny]

@Dixiechickonhols

I assume it’s due to weather. Kids may be at bus stop in cold and wet 20/30 mins. Buses rarely come on time. If it’s like my DD’s school there isn’t anywhere to keep a wet or bulky warm coat. They get told off for hoodie under blazer. If they get cold and wet at bus stop they’ll be miserable all day - schools are freezing with all windows open due to covid.
No excuse to block drive but I can see why it’s suddenly happening.

Loads of us used to wait at the bus stop or train station in all weathers at secondary school, didn't do us any harm!

Wax jackets were all the rage then for keeping warm/dry, I wonder if today's DC would be seen dead in one 🤣

[TonyChestnut]

Of course they shouldn't be blocking your drive(s); and their children should be able to walk a few hundred yards; and they shouldn't be parked with their engines running. But...

Do you really want to get the reputation of being the moany, cone lady? In small, rural, locations everyone knows everyone else's business and it will be you, not them, portrayed as the unreasonable one (although you're not).

My advice: bite your tongue, but don't stop using your drive and asking them to move whenever they are in the way. They may take the hint soon enough.

[Dixiechickonhols]

Not sure if all secondary schools do it but DD’s is still go in PE kit on PE day due to covid. She’s wearing a skort (shorts with tiny skirt and bare legs) in October stood at a bus stop in cold and wet. Sensible options like wearing your own joggers over top were banned for girls but not boys. After complaints school have just introduced thin sports leggings for girls £27.50! Again I can see why sitting in mums car is preferable to standing in cold and rain in shorts waiting for bus. But still not ops problem. I do suspect a lot more to it than little dears who cba walking 500 yards.

[olivehater]

If they are always leaving their engines on that’s not good for you guys in terms of air pollution as well. Really hate people they do this.

[Justilou1]

Absolutely make it less convenient for them. Get a gate, slavering hell hounds, invite all the Bible bashers and charity muggers around. I think it’s time for all the “Private Property” signs and a blanket “No Parking Any Time” rule and start charging to release the cars of anyone who inconveniences you.

[SoItWas]

Could you put some big potted plants just on the edge of the private track? Enough to drive past, but blocking parking?

[SpiderinaWingMirror]

I would think thar rurally if it's the only place to park that doesn't block the lane it's sensible.
Presumably if you need to move a car whilst they are there you just tell them to move? Do it every day for a week. Should help resolve

[SoItWas]

*And can be moved, if you want to park there.

[SoItWas]

(d'oh sorry) *leaving enough space to drive past

[IntermittentParps]

@ElftonWednesday

Nice comments about children being driven around.

Very few adults put their wet weather gear on and walk to work or to get public transport in bad weather.

I don't drive and have always got public transport/walked when going to work, and everywhere else for that matter. I've not melted or succumbed to a fatal Victorian-style chill yet and I'm 46.
Has no one heard of coats/warm layers?
(people in the situation of the poster whose DD is supposed to wear sports leggings that are £27.50, in your shoes I'd tell the school to jog on; I'm buying leggings I can afford).

[CovidCorvid]

So when you couldn't get your car out did you drive up to the side of them and honk? Because that would be ok and then they should move.

The running engines would annoy me.

[Leftbutcameback]

That's why I asked whether it was every day. Could sort of understand it if it was filthy weather, but more of September and at least a week of October were lovely weather! I used to have to wait for the public bus to school at 7:15 and it was freezing in winter esp as we had to wear skirts.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

@ElftonWednesday

If it's a private road, the people who live on it need to sort out some parking enforcement- some signs and paying someone to stop the parents parking there.

I stopped on a private road for two minutes near me to collect my daughter from a friend's house and an official came to check what I was doing there- it was all fine, but if it's private road, you can't go down it, and certainly can't park on it, if you aren't visiting a resident.

This. It’s definitely private, right?

[Dixiechickonhols]

Lots of schools don’t have lockers or cloakrooms. No secondary kids wear coats near me (I see kids walk past from 4 local schools) My DC walks to and stands at bus stop - I’m not a car waiting room Mum but I can see why it might be done.
Sensible options like wear layers they get told off for as it’s not uniform. I wouldn’t stand at bus stop 20 mins in tiny shorts today yet that’s what they expect teens to do.

[YouJustFoldItIn]

Sorry if I've missed this info buried in the thread, but is it marked as a private road and who owns it? Could you consider getting a gate fitted?

Were you the poster who said you had 'picnickers in my garden' a while ago, by which you meant they were on the grass bit on the opposite side of the lane?

[SantasLittleHoHoHo]

Definitely CF territory!

I would suggest borders to your garden / drive that make it awkward - such as little stoned areas, or perhaps the tiny wooden posts with reflective bits on? We use both to deter lurkers 😊

[SE13Mummy]

@AutumnLeafy and @Clymene I suggested OP offer her second driveway so she wasn't the one being inconvenienced and to avoid having cars idling outside her house. The drivers of the cars live along the same private road so they are entitled to drive along it. By offering space on a driveway she has already let one parent block, she isn't losing anything but may either prompt the others to park more considerately, to tell their children to walk home or to take her up on her offer and keep her access free.