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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Farnham.... for a black single woman

29 replies

Quirkyme · 19/10/2021 18:45

Hi

What is Farnham like?

I'm aware that there are parts of it with a rich, demographic, but I have my concerns about it not being diverse, and possible racism...

I'll be relocating for work.

OP posts:
30tanned · 19/10/2021 18:46

Lived near there a few years ago, there is nicer parts of the area as there is anywhere you go but I never found it to be racist.

defnotadomesticgoddess · 19/10/2021 18:47

I don’t know about racism there but it’s not diverse at all from what I’ve seen

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 19/10/2021 19:09

You'd be better off toward Farnborough for diversity.

I can't speak for Farnham, I worked there for a year but barely went into Farnham much. I know it's pretty and has really rich parts but that's about all I know.

RubyWho · 19/10/2021 19:15

I am mixed race and lived there for four years. PM me if you want, OP.

Original poster
Quirkyme · 19/10/2021 19:16

@RubyWho

I am mixed race and lived there for four years. PM me if you want, OP.
Aww thank you so much, I will message you now
OP posts:
C4tintherug · 19/10/2021 19:21

I work in a school where lots of pupils come in from Farnham and I have honestly never worked in such a “white” school. The lack of diversity is unusual.
Saying that, I would not expect you to encounter racism (but appreciate I am talking from a point of white privilege).

It is generally a nice area to live though

Elephantsparade · 19/10/2021 19:27

Farnham is lovely in terms of buildings, shops and countryside. It isnt diverse.

AlistairCamel · 19/10/2021 19:30

I live just outside Farnham. It isn’t diverse but I’ve never encountered racism. My child’s school probably has less than 10% BAME pupils. If you would like to ask any questions feel free to drop me a message.

AlistairCamel · 19/10/2021 19:32

I feel my last comment is misleading. I am white and should really say I’ve never witnessed racism.

FriedasCarLoad · 19/10/2021 19:43

A black ex-boyfriend lived there (well, dual heritage but dark skinned).

The area isn't diverse, but he said he hadn't experienced any racism there. Certainly no one looked twice at us dating (I'm white).

However, I'm aware that his attitudes and character meant racism would have to be reasonably overt for him to register it. And as a very tall, athletic, confident man, with a smart/professional dress sense, he was perhaps more likely than most to be treated with respect.

HikingforScenery · 19/10/2021 19:45

@AlistairCamel

I feel my last comment is misleading. I am white and should really say I’ve never witnessed racism.
Not to sound patronising but thank you for this comment!
ClumpingBambooIsALie · 19/10/2021 19:52

If you're a middle-class professional and have that kind of middle-class-professional vibe going on, you'll probably fit in fine, but it is very white. I'm white but can feel a little uncomfortable there at times because I very much don't have that middle-class-professional vibe.

AlistairCamel · 19/10/2021 20:45

@HikingforScenery not patronising at all. After typing it and reading it back I realised how misleading what I had written could be.

Tal45 · 19/10/2021 20:48

It's so sad that you have to even ask this question OP, I hope where ever you move you are treated with respect x

HouseD · 19/10/2021 20:51

I spent 10 years in Farnham until 2018. Farnham is not diverse at all, but I have not encountered racism. It's a lovely place.

AliceAbsolum · 19/10/2021 20:54

Farnham is very PC. In a good way. I doubt you'll have any problems.
It's like Islington. Lefty arty types. Rotary clubs and rambling associations.

Original poster
Quirkyme · 19/10/2021 20:56

@AliceAbsolum

Farnham is very PC. In a good way. I doubt you'll have any problems. It's like Islington. Lefty arty types. Rotary clubs and rambling associations.
Haha, interesting. I'm a Londoner after all... so when you say it like that....
OP posts:
IJoinedJustForThisThread · 19/10/2021 21:03

The occupants of Farnham resemble the population of Midsomer Murders (but slightly less dead) - not much diversity. Very typically Surrey.

Aldershot is nearby, very diverse but nowhere near as upmarket as Farnham. Aldershot is very affordable but not very (in my opinion) desirable.

Ten or fifteen miles away is Woking which is very diverse but “posher” than Aldershot.

Grimbelina · 19/10/2021 21:07

Loads and loads of Londoners here so used to (and some of us missing...) diversity. What do you like to do? The countryside for walking etc. is beautiful.

Lightswitch123 · 19/10/2021 21:08

Possibly one of the least diverse areas

AJGranny · 19/10/2021 21:09

Jeremy Hunt is the local MP so I'm not sure how widespread the 'lefty arty type' of mindset could really be?

mynameiscalypso · 19/10/2021 21:13

My in-laws live there. They're only in their late 50s/early 60s but are the only people I've ever met in real life who refer to 'coloured people' (despite me calling them out on it every time).

Original poster
Quirkyme · 19/10/2021 21:14

@mynameiscalypso

My in-laws live there. They're only in their late 50s/early 60s but are the only people I've ever met in real life who refer to 'coloured people' (despite me calling them out on it every time).
oh no.
OP posts:
Original poster
Quirkyme · 19/10/2021 21:15

@Grimbelina

Loads and loads of Londoners here so used to (and some of us missing...) diversity. What do you like to do? The countryside for walking etc. is beautiful.
Hello,

Many things I like to do... including hiking and cycling

OP posts:
Lightswitch123 · 19/10/2021 21:19

Exactly. Full of middle class people who think they're "lefty types" but who are actually very well off, don't practice what they peach and wouldn't appreciate the nuances of how an experience may differ for a black person. We are well off mixed race family and we didn't stay long, although as PP have mentioned we never saw any overt racist incidents.

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