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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to try again so quickly? TW miscarriage

27 replies

USaYwHatNow · 19/10/2021 14:28

6 week miscarriage. Not much help from the GP, nothing against them, it's just I have been passed from pillar to post and not getting much advice when I'm asking for it.

Had anyone tried again straight away and fallen pregnant quite quickly. My husband wants us to try straight away and I think I'm physically and emotionally ready to get pregnant again ASAP but the research I've seen seems to vary quite widely.

Would be interested in hearing others experiences.

Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Doomscrolling · 19/10/2021 14:31

Two of my children were conceived immediately after early miscarriages.

Ponoka7 · 19/10/2021 14:33

They used to say to wait until you've had one proper period. I had mini labours with mine. On one occasion I needed a D&C. I felt that I wanted three months at least before I tried again. I went on to have two more children.

cadburyegg · 19/10/2021 14:37

I had a miscarriage in March 2017, had periods in may and June, fell pregnant in June. DS2 will be 4 in March.

Sorry for your lossFlowersFlowers

Original poster
USaYwHatNow · 19/10/2021 14:37

Thank you that's made me feel hopeful 🤞

OP posts:
Mamamamasaurus · 19/10/2021 14:41

I had a MC, followed by an ectopic between June & August. I tested positive with my now 7yr old in the October. I believe the main reason you're told to wait, aside form emotionally and physically healing, is so you can roughly track how far you (especially following an EP for example, I lost a tube so it was more important)

MindyStClaire · 19/10/2021 14:41

I waited to have a period and then got pregnant the next month. She's one now and lovely. No regrets at all, it was the right thing for us. Good luck!

Original poster
USaYwHatNow · 19/10/2021 14:47

@Mamamamasaurus

I had a MC, followed by an ectopic between June & August. I tested positive with my now 7yr old in the October. I believe the main reason you're told to wait, aside form emotionally and physically healing, is so you can roughly track how far you (especially following an EP for example, I lost a tube so it was more important)
Ah yes that's a good point to be fair. I tracked my ovulation signs and temperature etc. in order to conceive this baby (first baby and first try). Now that my pregnancy tests are negative I'm confident I could identify ovulation and rough conception date again. I'm just hoping that I ovulate sooner rather than later 😔
OP posts:
tiggerwhocamefortea · 19/10/2021 14:54

To be honest I would wait one period

I didn't - twice - and then nearly died from an ectopic on the 3rd month and it wasn't worth it for the sake of waiting 4 weeks

It's not so much about dating now - scans are so high tech these days. My doctors said you need to allow time for your lining to recover sufficiently to sustain a new pregnancy

Original poster
USaYwHatNow · 19/10/2021 14:59

@tiggerwhocamefortea

To be honest I would wait one period

I didn't - twice - and then nearly died from an ectopic on the 3rd month and it wasn't worth it for the sake of waiting 4 weeks

It's not so much about dating now - scans are so high tech these days. My doctors said you need to allow time for your lining to recover sufficiently to sustain a new pregnancy

Thank you for sharing that, that must have been really scary! Do they think the ectopic happened because the Womb lining wasn't thick enough so the embryo implanted elsewhere?
OP posts:
maddening · 19/10/2021 15:01

I mc in the December and got pg with ds in the April.

I let my cycle Come back and then we went back to ttc

tiggerwhocamefortea · 19/10/2021 15:12

@USaYwHatNow

They said a build up of fluid caused by infection in the tube as a result of the miscarriages likely caused the ectopic x

kalidasa · 19/10/2021 15:15

I conceived three cycles in a row back in 2012 -- two consecutive v early losses /chemical pregnancies (positive but faint tests then a heavy period) then straight away DS1. It was maybe a mistake to keep going just because I had severe HG and was already feeling properly ill with both early losses, then was severely ill for whole pregnancy so it ended up being almost an entire year of being unwell and I went into new motherhood very weak and drained (and had bad PND). If I'd known how bad the HG would be I would probably have left a gap to regroup that time round.

Otoh I'm pregnant now and had several probable or confirmed chemical pregnancies in a row before this pg (I stopped doing early tests after a while as found it better not to know but felt unmistakably pregnant for between 5 and 14 days pretty much every cycle we tried). I kept going because I'm 41 now so time not on my side for this possible DC3 (now 11 weeks so fingers crossed) and also I think lots of early losses are basically to be expected with older eggs so I was more sanguine about it and coped better with the early-stage nausea. DS2 by contrast was conceived in 2014 a few days after I had my coil out with no 'false starts' though I was prepared for them.

Maray1967 · 19/10/2021 15:18

I waited until I’d had one period. Took me 4 or 5 months each time (had 3 mcs) but that was an improvement on 3 years for DC1.
Mcs had nothing to do with the previous mcs - old eggs with chromosome problems definitely in one case, likely in the others. Had DC2 after 3rd mc.

washingmachines4 · 19/10/2021 15:19

Recommendation is to wait for 1 period between.
I fell pregnant immediately after 1 miscarriage which resulted in a full term healthy birth.
I fell pregnant immediately after another and it was ectopic which ruptured and resulted in emergency surgery removing one tube.
My advice would be to have 1 period between.

BlackeyedSusan · 19/10/2021 15:47

He's at football and I am enjoying the peace! I did get some spotting which was worrying.

It worked out well 11 years later as he got his rites of passage at the end of Y6 before COVID.

welshladywhois40 · 19/10/2021 15:52

As per another poster - wait one period. This was the advice I was given by a gynaecologist following a mc. The basis being gives your lining a chance to recover

Youdoyoutoday · 19/10/2021 15:58

Had a miscarriage in December, a period in January and got pregnant in February. It can happen and as long as you feel up for it, then try.

RavenclawsRoar · 19/10/2021 16:03

I didn't wait after my m/c and then had a chemical pregnancy straight after. Then 3 more cycles when I didn't catch at all and am pregnant now - all fine, third trimester. I think in hindsight I should have waited to try again because oddly the chemical hit me harder than the m/c and I got really stressed out by it. However, I totally understand the urge to just keep trying, which is obviously what I did! Good luck!

SickAndTiredAgain · 19/10/2021 16:09

I had a miscarriage three years ago, waited for one period (which came after 4 weeks), and got pregnant that cycle with DD.

Hoplop · 19/10/2021 16:10

I miscarried in December, conceived 2-3 weeks later in Jan and I am now bf-ing my newborn.

It took a long time to conceive so I really didn’t think we’d conceive again before the first post-mc period!

Original poster
USaYwHatNow · 19/10/2021 16:37

Thank you everyone. The reason I'm so keen to try again is because I realistically have a couple of cycles left to try before my husband goes away for work. Trying to keep the stress out of it 😂

OP posts:
LittleGwyneth · 19/10/2021 17:13

I was told by my lovely doctors that it was fine to start trying again as quickly as I wanted to. Various parents of friends told me that they conceived their children straight away afterwards. I don't know if it's true, but I've certainly been told lots of times that you're very fertile afterwards.

I'm sorry for you loss. Hope you have the pregnancy you want next time Flowers

Mumtotwofurbabies · 19/10/2021 17:16

Yes, had a miscarriage in November at 7 weeks, conceived again straight away, but had another miscarriage, then waited for one period and conceived again…now 31 weeks preggers and all going well. I know the stress of wanting to be pregnant again asap 🙈 💐. GP said there is no medical reason not to go for it again straight away, it’s more if you are ready mentally

Mumtotwofurbabies · 19/10/2021 17:18

Btw I say ‘straight away’ but I did wait for one period both times, rather than before my periods arrived if that makes sense!

Angrynellie · 19/10/2021 17:18

I was told to wait until 2 periods had passed to give the uterus chance to recover and to start functioning properly again (or words to that effect). This wasn’t recent advice though.