To want half an hour a day to myself?

[Worndownleather]

I get up at 6.15 and run around behind both dc, DH gets up about 7.30/7.45.
I work until 4pm, then I fetch the children - I don’t take lunch so that I can finish at 4pm - I come back and do dinner and sort the dc out with homework etc, DH finishes about 5.30 and comes and eats dinner whilst I tidy up. Then I’d quite like half an hour to myself at some point before I do the bedtime / bathtime rigmarole. DH says it’s not fair for me to have that but he has a lunch break and although he works until 5.30 he is finished then - I keep going with the dinner and the kids and the laundry and anything else until it’s bedtime.

He sounds like an arse. You could find several hundred similar threads about the same type of man on here though.

I’d sit down and evenly split your time. No need for you to get up that early and be carrying all the wife work too.

Oh what a complete arse he is!
Sorry, nothing more helpful to add.

Of course you're not being unreasonable - whats he doing when you're running around all evening? Tell him to do bath and bed and fuck off out the door - or alternatively he can get up at 6am and do mornings if he's too exhausted post work to deal with his children

His maths isn’t very good is it?

He has an extra hour plus in bed
He has a lunch break
He has time off 5.30 onwards

You want half an hour. I don’t think you’re demanding nearly enough tbh. I’d be asking him to do alternate mornings and bath/bedtime.

I don't think half hour a day would make up for the fact that you're doing all the parenting so he's stupid to begrudge you. Why doesn't he ever do dinner or get up with the kids?

DH says it’s not fair for me to have that but he has a lunch break

Your DH is wrong. Equal leisure time is the minimum baseline in a relationship where you have children.

Ask him whether he thinks it's fair that he gets and extra hour in bed a lunch break then relaxation after he has eaten the dinner you made.

Ask him.

Could never imagine my dh saying its not fair l have a half an hour to myself and he is not a model dh in every way. You have cooked his dinner for goodness sake!! He has nothing to do except work..you have work plus..plus..plus
Can you write down your list and get him to write his list beside it since he is such an ass to use the word fair. Does he have a long commute?
A session or two in counselling might shake him up.

Show him how bad his maths are. Tell him you are both entitled to the same breaks . The fact you go without lunch is not healthy or fair. If he has a problem refuse to do every morning and make him do his share.
Children are both of yours so and you both work so he needs to be equal parenting .
You know that you are not remotely unreasonable.

@FinallyHere

DH says it’s not fair for me to have that but he has a lunch break

Your DH is wrong. Equal leisure time is the minimum baseline in a relationship where you have children.

Ask him whether he thinks it's fair that he gets and extra hour in bed a lunch break then relaxation after he has eaten the dinner you made.

Ask him.

This. Ask him.

Asking for half an hour is wrong.
You should be demanding an equal split of morning care, cooking and other child care tasks. Once you've done that you'll find you have more time to yourself (or at least a change from non stop labour).

Why would you be getting up at 6.15 every morning, when he sleeps in until 7.30 / 7.45 ?

Op, i have never seen 100% YANBU. I know we might be a tad biased towards mum's, but really, it tells you something doesn't it? He is being a complete shit. I'm angry for you.

How old are the dc? I have managed to gain some sort of me time during ds6's bathtime!! He gets bath foam and goggles... I get to do my nails and put a face pack on!! We enjoy some 1 on 1 time too!! But dh is happy if I take whatever time I want!! My bath night is dc free!!

Christ it's not much to ask, is it? I don't ask, I just tell DH I am taking some time to myself, go into the bedroom and close the door

Do the children’s dinner and then leave the house if he is going for be a selfish lazy arse. He can crack in with bedtime etc

If you’re the one who gets up with them and does that hour then why doesn’t he do bedtime and bath time? Seems a fairer split. How old are your kids? Mine are young and my DH finishes work late in the evening but I try to have a bit of time to chill out after dinner and before bedtime even if that’s while they watch tv and I’m frequently interrupted

Seriously you need to have a discussion with coloured chart if need be. It’s not working for you. Say you are going to swap to hours he currently does - it’s his turn to do am and pm now.
You could do with a week long work course in a hotel - leave him and kids to it too show how little time you have.

Wow he's an arse isn't he. Why is he not getting up in the morning?

Selfish lazy bastard. I'd leave him to it as soon as he came home. He can whinge all he likes.

Why should you do all the work in the evening when he finishes at 5.30? I'd be splitting that in half from tomorrow.

Kids, dinner, laundry - you take one chore, he takes two (your second chore is the early morning shift). Then you can both put your feet up when you're finished for the day.

What does your DH do after he’s eaten?

Working full time and having kids means you don’t get much free time but when there are 2 adults in the house childcare, housework, cooking etc should all be split evenly so the evenings are free for you both to relax.

I would expect taking turns to do the morning routine and bedtime so that you both do an equal share of parenting. Half an hour is not enough and he won't even agree to that! Sounds like a terrible husband.

After he’s eaten he watches tv on the sofa.

You got your thread title wrong, it should be “Why is my DH such a cunt?”

Follow-up queries: why does he get up so much later than you? Does he ever cook dinner? And once more with feeling, why is he such a cunt?

Why isn't he getting up with the children in the morning? At least alternatively?