To want half an hour a day to myself?

[Worndownleather]

I get up at 6.15 and run around behind both dc, DH gets up about 7.30/7.45.
I work until 4pm, then I fetch the children - I don’t take lunch so that I can finish at 4pm - I come back and do dinner and sort the dc out with homework etc, DH finishes about 5.30 and comes and eats dinner whilst I tidy up. Then I’d quite like half an hour to myself at some point before I do the bedtime / bathtime rigmarole. DH says it’s not fair for me to have that but he has a lunch break and although he works until 5.30 he is finished then - I keep going with the dinner and the kids and the laundry and anything else until it’s bedtime.

Why doesn't he does any housework/cooking? Looking after children and homework isn't time off so you haven't worked til 4, you've worked from the moment you get up til everything is done.

He never has.
I’m just tired of getting no peace. Dd is in the bath now but she is asking me to put her goggles on her every twenty seconds and then taking them off and then wanting them on again.

What is he bringing to the party, OP?

Does he wake up when the kids do and just not get up? Or is he sleeping through it and you’re not yanking off the duvet, pouring cold water on him and saying “Get up”? Does he know how to cook? (Not your job to teach him.)

Ok. Equal leisure time now.

If all the jobs you're doing aren't any trouble he won't mind taking over and doing them 1/2 the time, will he? Or if they are trouble then he clearly should offer so you aren't stuck with it all.

Leave the house for half hour every evening. He will manage.

I wouldn’t put up with his behaviour tbh. If both of you get up in the morning at the same time, then things get done in half the time and it’s more relaxed for everyone. In the evening he certainly wouldn’t be getting fed if he was such a lazy git and I wouldn’t be cooking for him. Why should he get to sit and watch tv when you’ve been up from 6.15, had no lunch then ran around after work? You’d probably be less stressed being a single parent as you’d have one less child to look after. I seriously can’t understand why some women put up with this shit.

Oh God. You've been programmed to accept this as 'normal'.

It's not. You both work full-time. He's needs to act like a parent (and a human being) for 50% too.

Book a night out/away with mates and let him deal with the kids. Short sharp shock.

Ask him whether he thinks it's fair that he gets and extra hour in bed a lunch break then relaxation after he has eaten the dinner you made.

In a house you have tidied
Wearing clothes you have washed, dried, kept available
With kids you have parented in the morning and again in the evening
All part paid for by money you earn working full time

etc

etc

etc

Spell it out to him. Pie charts, spreadsheets etc. Tell him he has to come up owth a solution that doesn't involve you doing everything...

DH finishes about 5.30 and comes and eats dinner whilst I tidy up
So you don’t even eat together?
You would have less to do if you left him. Have you considered that? Has he?

That's really rubbish and not how it works in our house.

Even if it's a day I don't work, if I cook, dh always says now you go and sit down and he cleans up. If I am doing a chore in the evening he offers to help or asks me what he can do. He takes care of everything diy, car, outdoors related and will happily spend an evening sorting out a project I want completed!

I sort out shower and bedtimes because the dc are his step kids and we've only been married a few weeks.

But he usually gets up first, feeds the dogs and will sort breakfast for me / the kids if we want it.

He says this is not unusual and that he's just normal. He hates ironing so I do that, but he always says don't bother ironing my stuff! (I do)
I think he's bloody amazing because my ex was like your husband!