I'll give full context so bare with me.
I'm 39 weeks pregnant and have 2 young DC. I've been SAH for the past 3 months as I have SPD, painful hernias and rely on crutches so could no longer do my very physical job that requires me to be on my feet all day walking between places (I'll be returning to work later). I have a DH who works 4 nights a week.
We don't have a tumble dryer so we take our washing to the laundrette on the next block, 2 mins walk. DH has taken on that job for the past few months because I can't lift heavy bags of wet washing.
Despite my limited mobility I have been doing 99.99% of the housework (I'm nesting like crazy so if there's something I can do, I will gladly do it and then some)
DH worked last night (but has two nights off in a row now) and we had the mundane "what do you fancy for dinner" conversation this morning when he got in as we don't have much in because we do the food shop on a Monday.
He said he wanted a fry up which we didn't have ingredients for. I said if he wants a fry up he'll have to cook it when he's up as it's too much faff for me and I'm indifferent. He said sure. My DM who was visiting at the time kindly offered to go to the supermarket and pick up what was needed so I didn't need to hobble down there myself. He says sausages, bacon, beans etc.
He goes to bed for his 7 hours sleep and all is fine.
During the afternoon I put a wash load on whilst cooking the kids tea, no expectation that he needed to take it across to be dried today as we have racks it can sit on until tomorrow.
6pm comes and he gets up. As soon as he hears the washing machine on his mood changes and he's clearly in a strop.
He starts his fry up. He then moans about the lack of oil we have left and the fact the tin of beans doesn't have a ring pull so he has to open them with a knife. I said they were the only ones the shop had when mum went, he then replies "well personally I would have left it then"
so what was my DM supposed to do then, then?
No gratitude for the fact she went out of her way to go shopping for us, it's all shit because the beans don't have a ring pull.
It's now clear he's regretting the fry up and feels inconvenienced. I asked why he asked for one in the first place on a Sunday knowing we don't have much in. He said it's because I'm a fussy eater and he couldn't think of anything else I might want.
(I eat plenty btw. I'm not that fussy at all - infact I took out a subscription to simply cook because he moaned that we always ate the same stuff, then he moaned about that and said the meals were shit and not filling!)
Eventually I ask him what his problem is as his mood is starting to grate and he starts listing off all these inconveniences.
The washing machine being on which means he has to take the laundry across. The fact we have to do a food shop tomorrow and he hates doing food shopping and it's inconvenient (we both go together btw, me crutches and all)
He even throws in a moan about how he usually has to take the kids to nursery on a Monday, which is null and void because they're off for the next month so no nursery runs nessecary. He has been doing the nursery run, to his credit, but it's only when he's off work and not due in to work.
Then he says there's too much to do, including bathing the kids.
I tell him he doesn't need to take the washing over today it's not nessecary, I remind him the kids aren't even at nursery, I'll bath them and if he doesn't want to do the food shop tomorrow then that's fine we don't need to and I'll do an online shop instead.
He responds with silly excuses about how my solutions to his perceived problems won't work and says I'm escalating things into an argument (by offering solutions to things he's annoyed about?!)
After going round the houses for 10 minutes I've excused myself to sit in the bedroom as I simply can't be bothered with his mood.
I would love to switch places with him and be back at work, not stuck indoors all day anxiously awaiting a c-section (which I'm really scared about to be honest)
So do you think I expect too much of him? Which is absolutely sod all in my opinion, short of minute contributions toward the running of the home (drying washing 2 x a week which I didn't even expect him to do today) and child rearing (dropping the kids to nursery 2 mornings a week when he's not at work!)
Your take please mumsnet.