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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That FT work is killing me?

33 replies

Autumntwilights · 17/10/2021 18:32

I do want to ask for part time but I can’t yet, and I have many months of full time and care of a baby.

Is anyone else in the same boat? I feel really sad about it today.

OP posts:
Original poster
Autumntwilights · 17/10/2021 19:22

Is it just me? Grin

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 17/10/2021 19:25

How olds your baby and what’s your working situation?
I have returned to near on full time work with a baby, yes it was hard but the toddler years are hell and I paid my dues to enable me flexi time years now when my eldest is in school and needs me probably more

Fetarabbit · 17/10/2021 19:25

Why can't you yet? When you say looking after baby, are they in childcare during the day or are you working whilst looking after them?

Original poster
Autumntwilights · 17/10/2021 19:26

In childcare during the day, yes.

I can’t ask for part time yet because I teach and so timetables are arranged for the year. I’d need to wait until next September.

Also, I would like to conceive again this year and so going part time would affect my maternity pay.

But - it’s tough.

OP posts:
BakewellGin1 · 17/10/2021 19:27

Unfortunately many of us have to work full time with babies/toddlers...
I would love to work part time unfortunately it will never happen

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 17/10/2021 19:29

That’s the reality for many mothers and fathers.

Fetarabbit · 17/10/2021 19:33

Ah okay. It is hard, I just seem to be perpetually exhausted, but it does get easier (although if you're planning another might be a way off yet!).

Original poster
Autumntwilights · 17/10/2021 19:34

Definitely. Just feel guilty that he doesn’t get much interaction in the week and at weekends practical things like cleaning and shopping also get in the way!

OP posts:
Tailendofsummer · 17/10/2021 19:35

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

That’s the reality for many mothers and fathers.
I wish it really was as equal as that..
monkeysox · 17/10/2021 19:36

Full time teaching isn't family friendly. 60 hours per week. Yanbu

Fetarabbit · 17/10/2021 19:37

@Autumntwilights

Definitely. Just feel guilty that he doesn’t get much interaction in the week and at weekends practical things like cleaning and shopping also get in the way!
Don't feel guilty, although easier said than done I know! I feel the same about weekends, but there are only so many hours in the day, and if stuff needs to be done then it needs to be done.
teach1066 · 17/10/2021 19:46

Teaching full time is not just M-F day time - I know it’s all the evenings and probably part of your weekend too. So it’s v tough. Half term coming up though so hopefully you can rest then. Teaching full time is very challenging without a baby to consider too. That’s why so many teachers leave in the first few years - it’s totally unsustainable.
You can only do what you can do.
What’s your subject? Can you find ways to reduce workload eg cut back marking. Only mark key assessments? I stamp the kids work at the end of the lesson to acknowledge it has been done but I only mark set pieces of work once a half term. Is there someone you can speak to about workload? My school is very aware about teacher workload and is proactive in finding solutions as they want to keep teachers.
In all honesty part time teaching is the solution - yes you will probably work on your day off but it should free up your evenings. I have 3 kids and teach secondary part time. I would be miserable full time. So look to the future and get a conversation in sooner rather than later about going part time.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 17/10/2021 19:52

Oh you’re a teacher- that’s way better, you’ll get loads of time together- relax. Also cleaning and shopping you need to start doing a little bit in the evening to chill your weekends a bit (hard if a teacher I appreciate)- does your partner do enough?

tiredanddangerous · 17/10/2021 19:55

I get that it's really difficult during term time but I think in the long term the holidays will make up for it. I work in a secondary and feel like I barely see my dc some weeks, but knowing that I'll get time off with them every six weeks or so makes it doable.

IneedSocks · 17/10/2021 19:56

Could you not have gone back 4 days?

Ef1975 · 17/10/2021 19:59

I hate my job, I work with kids and the job is completely different from what it was years ago.. I get hit, my hair pulled, scratched etc on a daily basis, There’s little training to deal with children with additional support needs and there’s little support from colleagues and managers. After requesting a transfer, I waited 2 months and it was refused. I’m at my wits end, I’m constantly scratching at my skin through stress, I can’t sleep at night, often getting no sleep at all and thinking about everything, dreading the next day. I go for days not speaking to my husband because I’m just so unhappy and can’t handle the situation.. (wrong I know as it’s not his fault). I’d love to go part time to ease the stress but I just can’t afford to, or even better, leave all together but what do I do? I don’t have any other qualifications to do other jobs with similar pay.. I know money isn’t everything but we barely get by with what I earn just now with little to spare.. has anyone changed careers with success? I just don’t know what else i could do.. thanks all

Ef1975 · 17/10/2021 20:04

So sorry I’m new to this... didn’t mean to hijack your post... I thought I was making a new post!!!! So so sorry 😢

MintyCedric · 17/10/2021 20:07

Would you consider looking for a part-time job in another setting? Or is the fulltime/maternity pay correlation too important?

If the latter is your priority you're just going to have to suck it up really.

I do feel for you though. I've worked f/t in secondary school for 5 years and am leaving this week to become self employed (support not teaching staff).

13 weeks holiday a year is all very well but the lack of flexibility during term time has all but led me to a breakdown as I've been dealing with the sole care of elderly parents and its just impossible to manage.

Original poster
Autumntwilights · 17/10/2021 20:23

Oh @Ef1975, that sounds tough Flowers

It’s a question of weighing things up. I mean, yes, I could have left and done something else or been a SAHM, but then I have to consider things like pensions and future school holidays.

I really want to drop two days though. It was actually a new role so couldn’t ask to drop a day because I hadn’t started if you see what I mean.

OP posts:
Tigerwhocameforsupper · 17/10/2021 20:27

@Autumntwilights

In childcare during the day, yes.

I can’t ask for part time yet because I teach and so timetables are arranged for the year. I’d need to wait until next September.

Also, I would like to conceive again this year and so going part time would affect my maternity pay.

But - it’s tough.

I went to 3 days after having my eldest and then 2 days after my second. There is no way I could teach full time with young children.

If you are on the usual teacher mat pay (mostly 50% pay + SMP) then I found actually basing on 3 days didn’t make it too bad much worse than full pay really because you get the SMP at the same rate.

Original poster
Autumntwilights · 17/10/2021 20:29

It’s hard as I missed on enhanced maternity pay with DS. I understand why but it’s made me determined to have it with a second child! And in any case the difference would only be a few months if I managed to conceive within three months or so. You can never tell but got pregnant with DS on first try (very lucky.)

OP posts:
Original poster
Autumntwilights · 17/10/2021 20:30

Are you UPS3, @Tigerwhocameforsupper?

OP posts:
Tigerwhocameforsupper · 17/10/2021 20:33

@Autumntwilights

Are you UPS3, *@Tigerwhocameforsupper*?
Yes UPS3. Although I did have some protected pay with DS as I had a pay deal to swap to my current school who were struggling to recruit. That ended before I had DD and so her May pay was based on 3 days on UPS3 and then SMP. It was doable!
Original poster
Autumntwilights · 17/10/2021 20:40

Well, that all depends on outgoings etc … Smile but I wondered if you would mind me being really cheeky and asking what you take home, on 3 days a week, is that correct?

OP posts:
Tigerwhocameforsupper · 17/10/2021 20:44

@Autumntwilights

Well, that all depends on outgoings etc … Smile but I wondered if you would mind me being really cheeky and asking what you take home, on 3 days a week, is that correct?
On 2 days a week I take home around £1150. I can’t remember what 3 days a week was as I’ve not done it since before my last mat leave nearly 2 years ago! I would guess at around £1500.

I do also work self employed doing private tuition in the evenings and now that my DD has started playgroup I also do one morning a week consultancy in a school but fitting it around playgroup hours. That tops my income up by a further £300-400 a month.

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